Marriage and the Power of Divorce
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iannis
Musty Nester
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Well, you're doing the only thing you can. You've given her notice, you just have to wait the couple of weeks.
Stop talking to her, mostly. If you want to be nice about it just tell her that you can't talk to her, every time either one of you tries it just turns into a fight. I don't hate you, and I hope you land butter side up, but you're not my problem anymore. Along those lines. And then just do your shit and treat her like a sister that you really don't even like.
Also: SLEEP ON THE FUCKING COUCH. Or something.
You are basically living in hell. The only advice to someone in hell is to get out of hell!
Stop talking to her, mostly. If you want to be nice about it just tell her that you can't talk to her, every time either one of you tries it just turns into a fight. I don't hate you, and I hope you land butter side up, but you're not my problem anymore. Along those lines. And then just do your shit and treat her like a sister that you really don't even like.
Also: SLEEP ON THE FUCKING COUCH. Or something.
You are basically living in hell. The only advice to someone in hell is to get out of hell!
moonarchia
The Scientific Shitlord
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Fuck that, she can sleep on the couch in that situation. Tolerate, do not facilitate. She is now an unwanted guest and should be made to feel that way. If she wants to play the 30 days + 2 weeks card then treat her like an actual tenant. If you have a room you can clear out, then her and her shit live there until she is evicted or moves out. Are the utilities and such in your name? If not, do that immediately so she can't fuck you over any more than she already is. Change the locks now, and don't give her a key. Set specific times she can use the kitchen and dining area. Your house, your rules. As long as you aren't forcing her onto the street or damaging her belongings you have a lot of leeway in how you accomodate. You aren't required to feed her, for example. Empty out the fridge and pantry and only get take out or buy enough groceries for 1/2 meals at a time until she leaves. If you haven't already, make sure your finances are entirely separate. You were smart enough not to put her on the mortgage, so I hope you were smart enough to not have shared accounts too.
Noodleface
A Mod Real Quick
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Shit. Man. Did you say you had feelings for her? You shouldn't now. She's acting like a fuckin kid.
Follow the eviction process to the letter, get rid of her ass, and move on.
Onoes, you reading this shit? We don't want to repeat this information next week for you
Follow the eviction process to the letter, get rid of her ass, and move on.
Onoes, you reading this shit? We don't want to repeat this information next week for you
Gavinmad
Mr. Poopybutthole
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Noodleface
A Mod Real Quick
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chaos
Buzzfeed Editor
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You need to listen to some of this real talk here. We're your bros, you want your feelings coddled go talk to your chick friends, bros give real talk. And what you need to hear is this: on June 11th you need to be sitting there at 6 am wwith a sheriff kicking her ass the fuck out. If she goes psycho on you and starts telling her friends (or the police...) about how abusive you are to her, the time you forced yourself on her, etc then you are FUCKED. Done. And you say "But she would never..." and imma stop you right there, because I am sure plenty of guys thought the exact same thing. People don't always act rationally in these emotionally charged situations, you have no idea what she is capable of. Don't run through Tinder bitches, don't talk to her unless you have to, just suck it up and make it to the 11th and then do what you know you need to do.
Bro, she could ruin your life on a whim. Don't fuck around.
But running through tinder girls is fun. Chaos is right though. Just don't let her doormat you because you are afraid she might do something crazy.
Feien
Ploppers
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Like many people sentiments, make sure you're not enabling her. Right now you might have to wait to tell her to take her stuff and leave, or worse, put her stuff on the curb and change the locks. But it definitely begins at not taking the bait. You might even consider staying at another place like a hotel for a day or two so you are disconnected from her drama and you can have your homebody time (though it sucks it cant be at your actual home right now) but only if you trust that when you come back, all your shit won't be destroyed.
You guys all have some good advice/points. Truthfully I *have* started playing the tinder game - in fact I just got home from an interesting date.
The date: I met up with a chick who seemed moderately attractive on her profile, as I was arriving she texted me that her friend was with her (weird). Anywho, turns out she is a bit chubby, not quite as cute of a face as the pics show, etc. Not UGLY, but really probably like a 5.5 or so. Not the kind of girl you want to get over your ex with if you know what i mean... Anywho, her friend is definitely cuter (im gonna say a 7 just off of looks, but - and I will sound like Onoes here for a bit - after getting to know her she easily became an 8), and as we all got to know eachother a bit it became clear pretty quickly that any attraction was between me and "the friend". I ended up getting HER number, WITH the origingal girls blessings... they were both pretty damned cool, and all in all I had a good time.
No booty tho - YET!
As for the GF thing, we spoke maybe 5 words to eachother today, she is out and about with plans to stay the night out (thankfully). I think that is the solution - us trying to communicate was NOT fucking helping at all - we can save that shit for like a year from now once all the feelings are gone. I certainly hope I dont end up having to get the Sheriffs down here, but I am well aware that it could happen... she actually owes me about $700 (I paid off a $1,200 credit card debt for her last year because she NEVER would have paid it off, and at the time we were very much in love, things were great, and I was envisioning a future with her, one in which she didnt have total shit credit) AND will have a few bills due in about a week. I need to get her off of my car insurance, I already got her off of the gym membership, and I am hoping that when we go to split our stuff up she doesnt make out like a fucking bandit and take every single thing that I dont bolt down (dishes, utensils, etc... I bought probably 85% of it all, but if I cant *prove* it she may spitefully try to claim it all..)
It actually really fucking helps just reading all of your responses, so thanks you guys
The date: I met up with a chick who seemed moderately attractive on her profile, as I was arriving she texted me that her friend was with her (weird). Anywho, turns out she is a bit chubby, not quite as cute of a face as the pics show, etc. Not UGLY, but really probably like a 5.5 or so. Not the kind of girl you want to get over your ex with if you know what i mean... Anywho, her friend is definitely cuter (im gonna say a 7 just off of looks, but - and I will sound like Onoes here for a bit - after getting to know her she easily became an 8), and as we all got to know eachother a bit it became clear pretty quickly that any attraction was between me and "the friend". I ended up getting HER number, WITH the origingal girls blessings... they were both pretty damned cool, and all in all I had a good time.
No booty tho - YET!
As for the GF thing, we spoke maybe 5 words to eachother today, she is out and about with plans to stay the night out (thankfully). I think that is the solution - us trying to communicate was NOT fucking helping at all - we can save that shit for like a year from now once all the feelings are gone. I certainly hope I dont end up having to get the Sheriffs down here, but I am well aware that it could happen... she actually owes me about $700 (I paid off a $1,200 credit card debt for her last year because she NEVER would have paid it off, and at the time we were very much in love, things were great, and I was envisioning a future with her, one in which she didnt have total shit credit) AND will have a few bills due in about a week. I need to get her off of my car insurance, I already got her off of the gym membership, and I am hoping that when we go to split our stuff up she doesnt make out like a fucking bandit and take every single thing that I dont bolt down (dishes, utensils, etc... I bought probably 85% of it all, but if I cant *prove* it she may spitefully try to claim it all..)
It actually really fucking helps just reading all of your responses, so thanks you guys
Unless you really need the money just let that go. Major flashpoint. Grats on tinder chicks though!
iannis
Musty Nester
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Yeah, you ain't getting that 700 back. Just consider it to be pussy tax and don't worry about it.
I mean seriously, unless you're gonna like starve without it... just let that one go. It's like when a buddy borrows 50 bucks from you and never gives it back. It's a pretty cheap way to learn who the asshole is.
I mean seriously, unless you're gonna like starve without it... just let that one go. It's like when a buddy borrows 50 bucks from you and never gives it back. It's a pretty cheap way to learn who the asshole is.
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Write a bill for the $700, add to it anything you think she unjustly takes when she moves out. Hold it as collateral that she leaves you the heck alone, or you'll press her for it. Might sound scummy, but it gives you leverage. She's obviously exploiting you for a place to live at the moment. Let's hope that changes quickly.
Eidal
Molten Core Raider
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I was telling my buddy that were I in this scenario I'd just load a ton of books onto my kindle, shut off all services (electricity/water/gas), and sleeping bag it up with the expectation that she'd break before I did. Probably illegal somehow but it was fun to joke about.
Cad
scientia potentia est
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The time period isn't always 30 days. In TX for example by default it is 3 days. And the lease agreement can make it less (24 hours). Since there's no agreement here it'll be default in your state.
Post her a notice of eviction, get a sheriff to serve it. That'll start the clock. After 3 days or 30 days or whatever it is in your state, then you can go file the eviction suit. Once you do that you'll get a hearing and you can say, bitch never paid rent, I want her out. Judge will agree and she'll have X days to leave (in TX its 5) before the Sheriff will come and help you remove her.
Fun times! She will leave the instant she sees a process server, sure as hell. The fun part is if you get to take her to eviction hearing, she will be living in the ghetto from now on because normal white people apartments won't rent to people with evictions. Go get em kiddo!
Post her a notice of eviction, get a sheriff to serve it. That'll start the clock. After 3 days or 30 days or whatever it is in your state, then you can go file the eviction suit. Once you do that you'll get a hearing and you can say, bitch never paid rent, I want her out. Judge will agree and she'll have X days to leave (in TX its 5) before the Sheriff will come and help you remove her.
Fun times! She will leave the instant she sees a process server, sure as hell. The fun part is if you get to take her to eviction hearing, she will be living in the ghetto from now on because normal white people apartments won't rent to people with evictions. Go get em kiddo!
Onoes
Trakanon Raider
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I'm here
I was going to chime in, but what they said. Don't talk to her unless you need to basically. And yeah, I understand there are going to be feelings and all, but I promise you, 2 weeks without her and you are going to be like "Wow... this is so much better, why didn't I do this forever ago? Why was I even upset at all about any of this?"
As for me, I had a little drama with the ex the other day, first time I've really visualized the possibility of things going bad with her. I think it was taken care of, but I guess we'll see in the long run. Everything at home with the new gf is going well. We'll building an ikea entertainment center so we can get her tv and ps4 hooked up today, she's jonesing to play Destiny, lol. So yeah, nothing super exciting.
Already had an argument and now you have to build Ikea shit? Damn may as well just update your Tinder now.