Noodleface
A Mod Real Quick
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Pants on head retarded you say? Like when Prodigy singer posted his two kids? And the nude woman he was banging? And the jurassic park truck, and his wife (I think)?
Marriage and the Power of Divorce
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Khane
Got something right about marriage
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Cad
scientia potentia est
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Eomer
Trakanon Raider
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I can assure you that if it was truly "Canada" to "Southern California", it had to have been 20+ hours on the road, not counting stops along the way. And that's assuming he was starting out right at the 49th parallel somewhere in BC. From there even to San Fran it's 15+ hours of straight driving.
Haast
Lord Nagafen Raider
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It's a good thing I had finished my coffee before reading this. I would have been out a monitor.
Noodleface
A Mod Real Quick
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It was agreement cad. I posted my picture one time in this thread with my wife and it was a mistake
Kirun
Buzzfeed Editor
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Yeah, I feel like I'm approaching that same sort of conundrum with my wife. I'm beginning to realize more and more that I just don't think I have the capacity to give up the "space" I require in life. It's becoming a realization that I just may not be cut out for a LTR, honestly.
Now, a part of the problem is that my wife doesn't really have many hobbies and often expects me to be the roller coaster ride operator for any sort of "fun" activity we engage in. I was slowly able to get her to understand that I need alotof space, but no matter what, I just can't shake a constant nagging feeling that I'd just be better off alone. To be fair, this is something I've experienced in pretty much every long-term relationship I've had, so I'm getting to the point where I'm pretty sure it's a me problem.
Now, it really sucks because in many ways I feel like I'd be losing one of my best friends, honestly. Personality wise, we're very similar. We hate PC bullshit, similar views on politics, humor, religion, etc. The problem is, my other best friends also give me plenty of fucking space.
It seems to have been about half and half with my circle. Half cut when kids entered the picture and the other half cut as soon as "settling" down happened.
opiate82
Bronze Squire
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It's funny, I've actually become more social since having my kid. I've rekindled a couple of old friendships that had slowly drifted apart over the years and have done something that I probably hadn't really done since college, make some new friends.
Of course the key ingredient is the fact that we all have young kids now so it's like we entered the the next level of the adulting-club or something. I guess I don't see my still-single friends as often so they probably think I've just vanished due to the kid, but ya my social calendar is now so full that even my wife (who is the social butterfly between us, I am the introvert) is like "ugg, can we stay home and do nothing this week?"
Of course the key ingredient is the fact that we all have young kids now so it's like we entered the the next level of the adulting-club or something. I guess I don't see my still-single friends as often so they probably think I've just vanished due to the kid, but ya my social calendar is now so full that even my wife (who is the social butterfly between us, I am the introvert) is like "ugg, can we stay home and do nothing this week?"
Khane
Got something right about marriage
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I'm kind of the same way. Though it isn't that I NEED my space but rather I'm just very independent so inevitably because I'm perfectly fine and perfectly happy to do things separately they end up taking that as me not caring about them at all and that I don't want to spend time with them. I also get bored pretty easily so I've come to a similar realization... I just don't think I'm cut out for long term, monogamous relationships.
It could be that I just haven't met anyone worth marrying and that day may eventually come. But I doubt it.
Haast
Lord Nagafen Raider
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Best take on weddings/marriage ever was the shadow council on Metalocalypse:
And on that note, I'm considering getting engaged.
Can't count the number of times I've read posts and thought "liveable hatred" or "experience the blackness".Metalocalypse_sl said:
And on that note, I'm considering getting engaged.
Soygen
The Dirty Dozen For the Price of One
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I'm considering as well, but I've been with this chick 3.5 years and have never been married before. I would probably just do it already if it didn't involve the whole wedding, planning, inviting people etc. Why does all that bullshit have to come with it?
Yeah if it was up to my wife we would have just gotten married in a court house with our immediate family. Unfortuantely I felt that was a touch selfish since she is her mother's only daughter and my mom absolutely loves weddings as well and she only has two children. So I sucked it up and went with the big (ish, it was still only like 120 people) wedding. It sucks planning it and everything but I don't regret the decision.
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It was the worst $18K I ever spent, lol. And back at a time when I was still trying to get shit up and running with career too.
Looking back on this now, and I have discussed this with my wife too, we would of opted to go and get married in Hawaii on the beach or some shit. Then had a informal party or BBQ here for my close friends and family.
Even if the Hawaii and party ended up costing us $8K, it would of still been $10K to get a better start on our life together.
Kirun
Buzzfeed Editor
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This is pretty much myexactoutlook and why I think things have started to deteriorate. It isn't that I'm bored or don't care, but I'm perfectly satisfied "doing my own thing". That gets interpreted as "uncaring, selfish, etc." and no matter how many times I explain where I'm coming from, it just never resonates. She has gotten better, but her lack of hobbies and co-dependent nature has made it unsustainable for me, I think. I don't want life to ever become a "liveable hatred". I've seen others go through it and I see a friend of mine who had a kid 10 months ago quickly reaching that angry, bitter person point in life.
I'm just an extremely pragmatic person and after seeing the effort of sustaining a marriage/LTR, I'm at the point where if mine ever eventually implodes, I'd never do it again. The amount of effort involved (mostly mental) for ashotat things working out? I just don't have the patience for it anymore. And sure, we can sit here for days musing about how I just haven't met the "right one" yet, but I'm just not at an age where I'm willing to hop LTR to LTR, hoping for something to eventually "click" with a girl.
Ever since my best friend put a bullet in his brain, I've done atonof soul-searching (daily) and one major thing to come out of that is the realization that while there are some great aspects to relationships (getting your dick wet constantly, "outings", "companionship", cooking/cleaning, certain social engagements, etc.), the "tradeoffs", sacrifices, capitulations, etc. that you end up performing just don't make it some great, amazing alternative to your typical, single life. I've never once, through any LTR or marriage (now married 3 years), looked at my life/current situation and said, "You know! I'm so much happier now that I'm not single!". Now, I've definitely hadmomentswhere I've felt that, but never on a whole, oroverall. In contrast, I've definitely had just as many of those same "happy" moments, where I've instead said, "You know, not being single fucking sucks".
Now, maybe this is just some big, existential crisis I'm going through since turning 30 (now 31), but looking back at my last LTR prior to marriage, pretty much the exact same scenario started playing itself out in my head.
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LOl, depends on what you do. If you have a fucking full fledged wedding there with reception, sure. Im talking about a Las Vegas style wedding right on the beach with minimal or no friends/family there and no reception.