Soygen
The Dirty Dozen For the Price of One
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Marriage and the Power of Divorce
- Thread starter Grumpus
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Which I consider extremely, extremely selfish. Your friends and family want to be there to celebrate the day with you. You're basically saying "No you're not worth the $60 meal and drink ticket I have to pay." Alternatively like Nester said you're burdening others with having to pay for a vacation. So you're deferring the cost off you and onto others -- again selfish.
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LOL, no one is forcing anyone to do anything. I hated to be forced to pay for people that I dont even fucking know outside of weddings and funerals that my parents and her parents made us invite (persistent fucking nagging). There was literally like 50 people close to us out of like 150 mere acquaintances. All for what, a few hours of drinking and dancing? Fuck that noise, weddings are a fucking sham.
Depends if your parents are kicking in. My parents gave me a flat $10k for the wedding so if there was some second cousin twice removed they wanted invited that person was on the guest list. If they didn't offer up anything the guest list would have probably been half what it ended up being because I range from hating to being 100% indifferent about half my cousins and there are a fuckton of them.
This is exactly why we have told both of our kids we would finance them to do a wedding like that and not waste it on a church wedding. This is coming from religious folk. The actual "wedding" would be on the patio at the hotel maybe. People can come or not.
Phazael
Confirmed Beta Shitlord, Fat Bastard
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Elope and blow the money on the reception party. That's what my wife and I did and we saved everyone a lot of hassle and money. Plus, our receptions (had one in CA and one in WI) were a lot more memorable than any of the poofta weddings I have been/sung at over the years. No one remembers the grand march dance hall bullshit, but people still talk about our mini golf pizza party at castle park or the Big Lebowski bowling night followed by a pig roast in the park in WI. Ceremonies are just for insecure brides moms to try and get a do-over on their own disappointing trip to the altar.
Srathor
Blackwing Lair Raider
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Getting married as a goal in life is likely going to fuck up, getting married as a result of life will likely work out.
Go live, and be happy in yourself. If you find someone that makes what you are doing bright, bully for you. If you need someone else to make your day bright? Hope for the needle in the haystack, because you are likely fucked.
Go live, and be happy in yourself. If you find someone that makes what you are doing bright, bully for you. If you need someone else to make your day bright? Hope for the needle in the haystack, because you are likely fucked.
You're aware you can get married not in a church, yes? Here was the basic outline of my wedding and it worked out extremely, extremely well:
2h before ceremony: Pictures with wife/groom/wedding party.
5:00-5:30: Ceremony at the country club
5:30-6:00: Cocktail hour; a few more post-wedding pictures
6:00-6:30: Wedding party arrives/is seated
6:30-???: Dinner (plated but buffet could work too)
???-???: Drinks and dancing and that shit
What I really, really HATE is when someone has a wedding at a church does the whole faggot thing of "Oh I can't see my bride!" then makes me go to a TGI Fridays for four fucking hours as they take pictures because the reception doesn't start till 6:00 and the wedding ceremony was at noon. This way people didn't have to worry about going from one place to another it was all contained at the country club.
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Looking back, thats what we should have done too. Either way, no regrets, just saying knowing now what we now now we would of never did it that way.
Also what is funny is my wife and I are both atheist so we just had her friend be our wedding officiator or whatever you call it. But my wife is also good friends from a while back with a full on priest. AFAIK no one else in our families is atheist so I can only imagine what they were thinking was going on while her friend was marrying us while we had a dude in the audience in the full on priest get-up. I wonder if they thought we were going to prank them and have him jump up and be like "No! Jesus must marry these people to make it official!" and he runs up with his bible and we get raptured or something.
Of course we are but "church wedding" and "country club wedding" are synonymous. There is no difference when discussing it. The church is actually considerably cheaper than a country club. It's the concept of a large wedding that is fancy with expensive dresses, food, and decorations. Spend that same money on a location only and have fun with it. We will see what they pick in 3+ years.
Catholic weddings are the best. You get to listen to some old guy who has never been married nor ever had kids tell you all the secrets of a successful marriage and child rearing. Its really insightful.
Actually most priests are really good at rearing children amirite?
Actually most priests are really good at rearing children amirite?
Tarrant
<Prior Amod>
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I actually don't recall ever seeing that post. How long ago was it? Did you just move out?
Fifey
Trakanon Raider
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Kirun, it sounds like me and you both have similar situations and outlooks on life. My GF was perfectly content just watching TV all day and playing with her dog. We had tons of shared interests but I was much more adventurous than she was. Like if we wanted to go on a hike, I'd always have t be held back by her since she wasn't as fit or able to climb as well as I could. We never fought and I'd say I felt pretty happy during our whole relationship, it's just I felt like that was the end point if I stayed with her. My life would just be that from then on out, not good, not bad, just a steady mediocore.
While it's nice to have compnay, I also feel drained by constant interaction since I love solitude(gogo introverts). She couldn't understand it and wouldn't take my advice on what I needed, until I'd blow up in her then I'd explain again that I needed space and she'd give it to me for a bit then slowly start smothering me until I blew up again.
I also just turned 30 last year too so maybe I'm going through my midlife crisis too.
While it's nice to have compnay, I also feel drained by constant interaction since I love solitude(gogo introverts). She couldn't understand it and wouldn't take my advice on what I needed, until I'd blow up in her then I'd explain again that I needed space and she'd give it to me for a bit then slowly start smothering me until I blew up again.
I also just turned 30 last year too so maybe I'm going through my midlife crisis too.
Soygen
The Dirty Dozen For the Price of One
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Tarrant
<Prior Amod>
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When my kids were in town to celebrate Christmas she did her normal thing of staying in the bedroom during their visit and I told the kids she just had a migraine. When I went to the bedroom to ask if she wanted to go shopping with me to get the kids a few gifts I still had to pick up she was irritable with me. I asked her what was wrong, I just wanted to see if she wanted to go with me to get the kids some things.
She yelled at me "They aren't my kids, they never will be my kids and I don't give a shit about them!"
She either didn't see or didn't care, but my son was behind me with a "get well" card he made her that morning that he was going to give her. At that point he slinked away, went out to the living room and tore the card up and he and my daughter cried for half an hour. My son then said he didn't want anything to do with her anymore and in my mind, that was that.