Marriage and the Power of Divorce
- Thread starter Grumpus
- Start date
I think you answered your own question. It sounds like you got used to her drama-mama behavior so your tolerance for craziness is probably higher than the norm. Also, you can no longer say she's never done anything this crazy because she just did something THAT crazy.
Women that are looking forward to starting a family usually go into nesting mode. Maybe the thought of settling down and starting a family terrified her or something and this is her way of sabotaging the whole situation. The fact is, if she has shown herself to be this crazy now, can you imagine how crazy she would get with the stress that comes with having a child? I think you lived the dream by having this type of relationship at a relatively young age and I am certain you have the pictures/videos to prove it. Obviously, this evidence must be shared here. From the way you described her, and the nature of your relationship, it doesn't sound like she could be relied upon in the way that you would need to be able to rely upon the person with whom you were going to have a child. It is not as if you could expect her to suddenly change her crazy ways just because you guys had a kid, that shit just doesn't happen.
Frenzied Wombat
Potato del Grande
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Man, fucking dating again sucks. I forgot just how much work there is to play Mr. Witty in endless email exchanges with chicks on Match.com. Getting to the age where hanging out on the couch in my underwear with my dog, drinking beer, and watching John Wick for the 5th time is becoming more appealing than dating again.
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Frenzied Wombat
Potato del Grande
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Don't laugh. I've got Tinder loaded up on my IPhone, I just haven't taken the plunge and registered an account yet. The last time I dated (almost 3 years ago) I don't believe Tinder even existed-- it was match.com, Okcupid, or Eharmony.
Dog doesn't wear underwear exactly, I do. I make sure that Porky is always wearing his raid gear though. That handle comes in handy when he steals my place on the couch and goes into limp abortion protestor mode when I try and move him.
Oblio
Utah
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Your answer is right there bud. Why do you want to be with someone that does not want to be with you? It is not like she said "I need a little space or time to sort out my feels" she said "Let's be friends."
I get just walking away is MUCH easier said than done and it is very easy for me to say as I am not invested in the relationship. Look at it like a business decision, if you applied for a job and they turned you down would you wait around to see if they changed their mind? Fuck no, you would move on. It might suck but you would thank them for the opportunity and go find employment elsewhere.
I do not envy your situation at all and I am sorry that you are dealing with this shit. Make a clean break and stay as busy as possible with work, friends, family, hobbies, projects etc. Promise yourself no drunk dials and don't answer her calls, tell her she can text you if it is really important otherwise you would prefer to have no communication for 30-60 days.
Frenzied Wombat
Potato del Grande
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Go for it. I wanted one since childhood and finally took the plunge. Probably the most affectionate and "funny" dog I've ever owned. Only big negative is keeping their wrinkles clean and the fact that they're stubborn as fuck. I've dumped coin into professional training and the little fucker understands my commands perfectly, but unless there is a food bribe involved he just ignores me. He's also great pussy-bait at the park..
This is one of the more odd posts, ill give you that tjt.
Just so I have everything down...
Been dating her for four years.
Always had a semi open relationship with firm rules. Lately you haven't been taking the open option much.
She has been pushing for future together or marriage. You gradually came around to that point of view.
She meets dude, and falls madly in love. When she gets home she dumps this on you and wants to just be friends.
Dude has no romantic interest in her.
No major problems that you know of and you aren't her financial rock.
If that is all accurate then it looks like three possible things from an objective point of view. When you started warming up to the long term stuff she panicked and decided she didn't want it. Second option is that she may just be batshit and literally had a love at first sight experience and is being honest that she can't be with you while feeling this way. Third is that you guys had problems you just weren't aware of and this is her out.
Tough situation man. I'd say get your own place, have minimal contact for a while and both of you need to sort out your feelings.
Just so I have everything down...
Been dating her for four years.
Always had a semi open relationship with firm rules. Lately you haven't been taking the open option much.
She has been pushing for future together or marriage. You gradually came around to that point of view.
She meets dude, and falls madly in love. When she gets home she dumps this on you and wants to just be friends.
Dude has no romantic interest in her.
No major problems that you know of and you aren't her financial rock.
If that is all accurate then it looks like three possible things from an objective point of view. When you started warming up to the long term stuff she panicked and decided she didn't want it. Second option is that she may just be batshit and literally had a love at first sight experience and is being honest that she can't be with you while feeling this way. Third is that you guys had problems you just weren't aware of and this is her out.
Tough situation man. I'd say get your own place, have minimal contact for a while and both of you need to sort out your feelings.
Could just be the shock factor. Until time settles emotions down a bit, people rarely know how they really feel. Especially this close to an unexpected sucker punch.
I'm never around when I'm needed! Advice has all been solid though.
Also a friend of mine had a similar problem once (longterm girlfriend "fell in love" with an Australian guy, he was an exchange student though so slightly different). We got the Australian guy to speak in an american accent in front of her. Glamor instantly gone. It was like hitting a switch on her attraction to "off". My friend still dumped the girl, but I think she learned something valuable about herself.
Alex
Still a Music Elitist
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Definitely. I couldn't believe how popular I was when I went to Northern Ireland. American accent is instant baller status.
worked best in Italy and Germany for me. Was a total surprise because I had a very heavy Chicago accent at the time. Spending the last decade in the deep south has really softened it a ton now.
Tarrant
<Prior Amod>
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