Marriage and the Power of Divorce
- Thread starter Grumpus
- Start date
Mrs. Gravy
Quite Saucy
- 1,696
- 2,173
Tarrant
<Prior Amod>
- 15,566
- 9,019
moonarchia
The Scientific Shitlord
- 21,724
- 39,567
It's only been 5 months. That'll change as long as you are open to it. Whether your final form is cat lady or hobo or relatively well adjusted widow is up to you.
Noodleface
A Mod Real Quick
- 37,961
- 14,508
They say once you go black you never go back.. I'm really confused as to what that means for Mrs Gravy
Mrs. Gravy
Quite Saucy
- 1,696
- 2,173
I am trying to adjust and believe that I will be a shiny new version of my former self, thanks to a little burnishing from grief coupled with extraordinary memories of my Beloved.
I am not isolating myself, but the rides home from fun nights out are surprisingly difficult.
Ex. I went out last Friday night with friends, several I have known since grade or high school. We went for dinner, drinks and to see a local cover band. It was fun, I danced, laughed, joked, reminisced, got hit on by men of varying ages....like 20 somethings to 50 somethings...and was told that I could expect to be asked on a date....which was flattering but also freaked me out. I am ridiculously friendly and forget that it can be interpreted as flirty...then I felt terrible...like it was dishonoring G. All I wanted was for him to be home when I got there. I didn't sleep well that night.
The next day, one of the guys did call me. I think he thinks I am low hanging fruit....that is cynical of me. Maybe he is just lonely and he thinks spending time with me would be nice. I tried very gently to thank him but explain dating is not on my radar just yet.
Tears show up at random times...in small and strange ways...like throwing out sugar free jam that G liked, but I didn't....seeing the hydrangea in full bloom right now...he hated that bush...stupid stuff like that.
I am rambling....sorry.
Since I can't remember the original point I was trying to make I will just say that I like Dark Gravy.
I am not isolating myself, but the rides home from fun nights out are surprisingly difficult.
Ex. I went out last Friday night with friends, several I have known since grade or high school. We went for dinner, drinks and to see a local cover band. It was fun, I danced, laughed, joked, reminisced, got hit on by men of varying ages....like 20 somethings to 50 somethings...and was told that I could expect to be asked on a date....which was flattering but also freaked me out. I am ridiculously friendly and forget that it can be interpreted as flirty...then I felt terrible...like it was dishonoring G. All I wanted was for him to be home when I got there. I didn't sleep well that night.
The next day, one of the guys did call me. I think he thinks I am low hanging fruit....that is cynical of me. Maybe he is just lonely and he thinks spending time with me would be nice. I tried very gently to thank him but explain dating is not on my radar just yet.
Tears show up at random times...in small and strange ways...like throwing out sugar free jam that G liked, but I didn't....seeing the hydrangea in full bloom right now...he hated that bush...stupid stuff like that.
I am rambling....sorry.
Since I can't remember the original point I was trying to make I will just say that I like Dark Gravy.
iannis
Musty Nester
- 31,351
- 17,656
So it's not true? Widows aren't always grateful?
I think maybe the hardest thing, just looking at it from outside, is that it's not going to be Gravy ever again. That happened, it was wonderful, and now it's done.
But you can still get your freak on with some 20 year old stud. I didn't know gravy that well, but I knew him well enough to know that it's exactly what he would have wanted you to do if it's what made you even momentarily happy.
You'll miss him for the rest of your life. And you don't HAVE to go out there and reinvent yourself. But grief can ossify you.
It doesn't at all sound like that's what's happening, it's just something to be mindful of is all. You are going out there. You don'thaveto fuck the 20 year old stud either.
I think maybe the hardest thing, just looking at it from outside, is that it's not going to be Gravy ever again. That happened, it was wonderful, and now it's done.
But you can still get your freak on with some 20 year old stud. I didn't know gravy that well, but I knew him well enough to know that it's exactly what he would have wanted you to do if it's what made you even momentarily happy.
You'll miss him for the rest of your life. And you don't HAVE to go out there and reinvent yourself. But grief can ossify you.
It doesn't at all sound like that's what's happening, it's just something to be mindful of is all. You are going out there. You don'thaveto fuck the 20 year old stud either.
Itlan
Blackwing Lair Raider
- 4,994
- 744
Be happy, the rest is not important.
My dad passed away a few years ago and my mom has told me stories similar to yours. I told her that she will figure it out and there isn't a perfect amount of time to wait. I told her to be happy. They were married since age 17 so it is going to take a while.
My dad passed away a few years ago and my mom has told me stories similar to yours. I told her that she will figure it out and there isn't a perfect amount of time to wait. I told her to be happy. They were married since age 17 so it is going to take a while.
Noodleface
A Mod Real Quick
- 37,961
- 14,508
- 6,391
- 8,398
Hoss
Make America's Team Great Again
- 25,684
- 12,168
There is a way out as long as you haven't acknowledged it yet. You must throw together a surprise party immediately.