Marriage and the Power of Divorce

iannis said:

5 years for me too. I loved her more every year. She seems to have loved me less.

So now I shoot for 2 years max. It seems to be a breaking point.

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You loved her more because you felt like you could ignore her and still be happy,

She loved you less because you were ignoring her.

That is the male condition.

12 and still going. We just fit, she is tolerant and understanding on the things i am most inconsiderate about. I am strong in areas she is weak and vice versa, We share similar taste, but different interests.
we also communicate well.

Our fights are:
"You did this, and i felt it sucked because of this specific issue from before, Oh sorry, i did not see that those where connected, i will be more considerate going forward, shall we fuck? Yes, we Shall"



Also, no kids.

Closing in on 9 for us, living together most of that time but only married the last three years. No kids yet, another year and change for grad school left for her so we'll likely be over ten years before we try for the first kid.

Several people have mentioned no kids. And statistically there is some support for that position; apparently having kids has a slight destabilizing effect on average.

I've found the opposite, myself. When the wife is driving me insane (they all do this occasionally) I remember, she has given me three amazing kids. Puts the dirty dishes or whatever in perspective. So kids can be a stabilizing factor, too.

consensus said:

You are gonna die alone.

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We all do.

8 years here. 5 years dating and got married on our 5 year anniversary of officially dating. Maybe that was lame but it made sense.

We just have the one kid so far and she's had at least one miscarriage we know of. Glad I could be there to help her during that, I've never seen my wife more upset in my life.

We have tiny arguments but weve never had a major argument. Early on in dating we discussed the big important stuff to get it out of the way and I think that was the most important. We both wanted kids (2 or 3,guess who wants 3), dogs, a house that is local (all of our family are here). Other stuff we've decided along the way, like choosing to have her stay at home which meant I needed to so a bunch of job hopping which is way out of my comfort zone.

Now or course you all have seen me complain here about her but I do that to vent about the small stuff that isn't worth venting about to her. Stuff like the clutter in the house, times she's been not into sex for some reason, or all the times she gets emotional for no reason.

We have a pretty good life and even though she drives me nuts sometimes I just look at my son and know I made the right decision.

Sorry I went on a tangent there. Previous to her my longest was exactly 1 year - that bitch broke up with me on our anniversary over AOL instant messenger.

My wife has an incredibly high sex drive, easily 3+ times a day if I was willing.

Apparently rare condition, yay me.

Mine lasted almost ten years. It failed due to me being an ass that didn't take it as seriously as I should have, wandering eyes and getting myself in trouble short of sexual acts cheating. Led to her cheating. Which broke me a bit mentally and has put me off on being serious with anyone ever again. Mainly because I realize just what I lost when we finally ended it and the divorce was finalized back in Jan 15, and I don't know if I could ever go through something like that again.

Swagdaddy said:

My wife has an incredibly high sex drive, easily 3+ times a day if I was willing.

Apparently rare condition, yay me.

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(Book poster about letting black guys impregnate your wife)

Reading much? J/K, that's cool, good on you

Izo said:

11 years, that's a long time. Did you have any kids? What was the money problems?

Also, tits here, please: https://www.firesofheaven.org/threads/the-foh-tits-thread.7017/page-2

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No kids. Money problems were logistic-based. We spent hundreds upon hundreds of dollars on plane tickets between the US and Puerto Rico in the first few years- basically any last shred of income was spent on 2 week visits here and there. Not the wisest way to spend money, but it's what we wanted to do.

He moved to the States before we were ready. I was working part time and busting my ass getting a largely useless degree in something that not lucrative unless you have a true passion for it. He was working full time at a fucking terrible job and had to drop out of college to put his money towards the care of his mom, and ended up bankrupting himself. It was a family thing, sort've trickled down to the point where she was in late hospice when they came to terms with how deeply in debt they'd become pursuing all the most aggressive treatments. I graduated, did a brief stint at a certain company that will not be named before it fucking imploded. Moved to be with him, because my job/source of income was home-based. Didn't much matter I couldn't speak the language very well.

A freelance artist and a college drop-out don't make much money together. So it was tight for a while. Still got to do a lot of things and see a lot of things that I never would have experienced if I hadn't stuck with him. Was hardly a fairytale, but fuck it. People fight about money and bills. We moved back to the States when we both landed a job that could support us and have been back for about 4, 5 years now.

consensus said:

Sounds like you are afraid of being alone and you are clinging to your relationship to bog you down from deciding what you really want to do in life.

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Not so much, that. Yes, I think the idea of us going our separate ways is probably scarier than it should be, looking at it rationally. It's a spoopy thought, considering how very used you get to having someone being around all the time. Makes you complacent? Same time...he's never really been an obstacle to getting what I want out of life. Yes, there's set-backs and time constraints and the intermittent fucking awful patch here and there, but that's part of it. I don't see myself being any happier or 'better' without him. I see him as a good source of dick and good times, and still enjoy his company. Good enough by me.

Me and his fam outside the local watering hole, incidentally.

Zaara said:

No kids.

I see him as a good source of dick and good times, and still enjoy his company. Good enough by me.

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Future plans, maybe? How old are your ovaries?

The weird thing is zaara lives literally down the street from me