Marriage and the Power of Divorce

Haast

Lord Nagafen Raider
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I like bigger guys.
Sheesh. I don't want be some kind of harlot but I miss being held tenderly and fucked with ferocity.

How long did it take after this post to hit "full" on your direct messages, like 5 minutes? :)

But seriously, this guy must either have some hang-up about making a move (did he know Gravy?) or is more interested in being friends than dating. Don't let that get you down. You know people are interested. I'm sure a good opportunity will present itself soon. But this one doesn't sound like that opportunity.

At least the beer was good.
 
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Noodleface

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Mrs G is there any chance this guy is afraid to put moves on you knowing of your husband passing?

If you're laying down moves and he's not reciprocating it's time to cut your losses
 
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Mrs. Gravy

Quite Saucy
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How long did it take after this post to hit "full" on your direct messages, like 5 minutes? :)

But seriously, this guy must either have some hang-up about making a move (did he know Gravy?) or is more interested in being friends than dating. Don't let that get you down. You know people are interested. I'm sure a good opportunity will present itself soon. But this one doesn't sound like that opportunity.

At least the beer was good.
Yeah, no - the men here have also been respectful to the history of G. It is sweet. (Incidentally, for those of you who may be interested, I actually kept a list - I hand wrote a list - of all of you who were both in public but more so, in private kind to him. You all have a special place in my heart because of that.)

I am going hang up theory; he did not know G; he is really good friends with one of my really good friends though, so he knew of him. Maybe he is following some sort of Victorian must allow a widow to wear black at least a year kind of thing. IDK; I am guessing that his initial interest was piqued but more than friendship ...ok - in the midst of writing this and he texts me - just random - yeah last night was cool this is what I am doing this morning text - BIGSIGH.....anyway...I get the feeling I am being relegated...I JUST DON'T KNOW. Gonna just come out and ask him because I do not give mixed signals and I am getting tired of trying to figure it out.

(and yeah - the beer was good)

Mrs G is there any chance this guy is afraid to put moves on you knowing of your husband passing?

If you're laying down moves and he's not reciprocating it's time to cut your losses
Touched him on the arm - turned toward him, looked him in the eye, played with my hair, laughed a lot cause he is hilarious, gave some shit because that is what I do, and attempted an actual full body squeeze, so looks like I am being as you lot have recently taught me "friend zoned" (the things I have learned here!)
 
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Chanur

Shit Posting Professional
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It sounds like it might be time to move on but you are both adults. If you like him give it one last shot by coming right out and saying what's on your mind. If that doesn't get things rolling it's time to abandon ship.
 
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Khane

Got something right about marriage
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Men don't typically friend zone a woman because men typically don't care to be "just friends" with women.

It's more likely he's just a chump.
 

Haast

Lord Nagafen Raider
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Yeah, no - the men here have also been respectful to the history of G. It is sweet. (Incidentally, for those of you who may be interested, I actually kept a list - I hand wrote a list - of all of you who were both in public but more so, in private kind to him. You all have a special place in my heart because of that.)

I'm glad to hear we occasionally keep it classy around here. Cheers, Mrs G.
 
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Mrs. Gravy

Quite Saucy
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In other semi-related news - I am heading to an antique bottle and breweriana show in a bit....there will be loads of men there. I am actually going because I have some items to sell and want to talk to some of the bigger more reputable player/payers.
 
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a_skeleton_02

<Banned>
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I am here for @a_skeleton_02 update

got like 3 more hours to go dude.

Today I cleaned up, downloaded the movie she wanted to watch (Howl's moving castle,) did some laundry and went to the grocery store. I picked up some scented candles some popcorn kernels (not the bag shit) and an assortment of tea because she drank tea on both our dates.

I went to the florist and bought an orchid in the genus that she mentioned offhand and placed it in a vase for her then I clipped my wingman of a cat's nails so she can go all crazy lapcat on her.

Hid all my trump stuff, cleaned my social media profiles, bought condoms(ugh) removed some of the more...advanced things from my bedside kink drawer and now I'm thinking about getting something to eat.

Kind of don't want to cook since the kitchen is clean, Maybe Burger King?

Either way I'll let you guys know how date three goes.
 

Khane

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Sounds like you're the one who's being "handled" here.
 
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moonarchia

The Scientific Shitlord
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Yeah, no - the men here have also been respectful to the history of G. It is sweet. (Incidentally, for those of you who may be interested, I actually kept a list - I hand wrote a list - of all of you who were both in public but more so, in private kind to him. You all have a special place in my heart because of that.)

I am going hang up theory; he did not know G; he is really good friends with one of my really good friends though, so he knew of him. Maybe he is following some sort of Victorian must allow a widow to wear black at least a year kind of thing. IDK; I am guessing that his initial interest was piqued but more than friendship ...ok - in the midst of writing this and he texts me - just random - yeah last night was cool this is what I am doing this morning text - BIGSIGH.....anyway...I get the feeling I am being relegated...I JUST DON'T KNOW. Gonna just come out and ask him because I do not give mixed signals and I am getting tired of trying to figure it out.

(and yeah - the beer was good)

Touched him on the arm - turned toward him, looked him in the eye, played with my hair, laughed a lot cause he is hilarious, gave some shit because that is what I do, and attempted an actual full body squeeze, so looks like I am being as you lot have recently taught me "friend zoned" (the things I have learned here!)

Pacing is also a thing. If you want to move faster than him, talking about it is probably the only way it has a chance of working out. You can go blunt "Are you gay, dense, or just not interested?" or you can just tell him you'd like to step it up. Or you can skip the words and just jump him or try to find out what kind of toothpaste he uses. Either way, flirting and ambiguity can be fun, but when it turns frustrating may as well cut to the chase if you like him.
 
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nuday

Golden Squire
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Alright, time for a lurker divorce-shit post. I posted here once back when this all first went down, but I'll sum it up before moving on: Left wife at the beginning of June due to a repeated history of conversations that went beyond "friendly" with her ex boyfriend and a load of other shit throughout our 6 year marriage. Since then, she has: moved that ex boyfriend and his girlfriend into the house with my daughter, kicked them out months later due, apparently, to the guy's alcoholism, very openly dated another guy for a while now, and checked herself into a mental hospital for a week. Her most recent decision is that she should bring that boyfriend to the pick up/drop off meeting for our daughter.

In the meantime, I've just been taking care of myself and my daughter and working. Unfortunately, I have 0 dollars toward a divorce filing. I make decent money but after bills and a few groceries my account might have fifty bucks if I'm lucky.

So I come for an opinion: I've seen people gofundme for a divorce. It feels fucking dumb, and cheap, and just all around silly, but I have 0 other options to pay a lawyer to legally disconnect myself from this woman and get some custody shit settled before something serious happens.

Do you fine people think that a gofundme is a terrible idea?
 

iannis

Musty Nester
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I think you won't raise anything and may be looking at going into a little bit of debt.

Sounds like you need to get at least half custody of that daughter though. It's time to start actually calling lawyers. They won't charge you for the initial consult. It's like a job interview for both of you. Maybe the divorced guys can weigh in. The actual lawyers fees for it though I wouldn't expect are more than a few thousand dollars. Splitting assets you might get fucked... but you might not. I'm not sure if that woman is financially responsible... maybe she is. But if she isn't, and you can cut away with half of her debt, that's a better deal than all of her debt in 5-10 years.
 

moonarchia

The Scientific Shitlord
21,443
38,963
Alright, time for a lurker divorce-shit post. I posted here once back when this all first went down, but I'll sum it up before moving on: Left wife at the beginning of June due to a repeated history of conversations that went beyond "friendly" with her ex boyfriend and a load of other shit throughout our 6 year marriage. Since then, she has: moved that ex boyfriend and his girlfriend into the house with my daughter, kicked them out months later due, apparently, to the guy's alcoholism, very openly dated another guy for a while now, and checked herself into a mental hospital for a week. Her most recent decision is that she should bring that boyfriend to the pick up/drop off meeting for our daughter.

In the meantime, I've just been taking care of myself and my daughter and working. Unfortunately, I have 0 dollars toward a divorce filing. I make decent money but after bills and a few groceries my account might have fifty bucks if I'm lucky.

So I come for an opinion: I've seen people gofundme for a divorce. It feels fucking dumb, and cheap, and just all around silly, but I have 0 other options to pay a lawyer to legally disconnect myself from this woman and get some custody shit settled before something serious happens.

Do you fine people think that a gofundme is a terrible idea?

Money is money.

I would first see what free legal options you have through work or local lawyers. Second, time to tighten up and start budgeting to pay for lawyer. Remember ramen and hot dogs in college? Yup. Get that lawyer $$$ now not later. If both parties are civil and willing to work it out, all of it can be self filed for low costs. You want to be ready for it not to be civil.

Does your ex work? Are you still paying for the house? If you are in any way legally bound to it at all, time to give her the option of buying you out or putting it up on the market so you can split the equity. You are going to be legally bound to each other until your daughter is 18. Hopefully you are both adults about it, and can make that work out. If it comes down to family court, make sure you get all the mental health stuff and alcoholic boyfriend stuff and double and triple verify it with third parties so it doesn't come across as just sour grapes on your part. It's sad that MRA has such loonies giving it a shit name, because this is one of the areas they have actual merit, if this goes to court, you are very likely coming out of this screwed over because they are sexist. Straight up.
 

Chanur

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It sounds like you should be trying to get full custody with visitation for your wife. The wife sounds pretty irresponsible. I don't know about GoFundMe but if you have to take a personal loan or something do what ever you have to do to get a good lawyer and get custody of your kid.
 
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