Marriage and the Power of Divorce

Khane said:

Not exactly Michelin star but I gravitate towards pricier places with better menus and drink selections. Places like this:

Food

We drank a lot. Like way too much a lot.

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This looks like the kind of establishments I go to as well. Same cocktail/food prices. How's the build your own mac n cheese?

I'm not a big mac n cheese guy, especially with all the other offerings they have. Their curry chicken pot pie is the greatest thing ever though. And their maple mustard duck fat wings... I could eat those every meal, every day.

I'd just announce to the room. "She doesn't want you to know, but she just farted."

Oh, and that place looks reasonable enough, but dang, their liquour is expensive.

Khane said:

I'll tell you guys a funny story. Well, it will be funny for you... it pissed me off.

She used to get super gassy when drinking beer. For whatever reason. And her beer farts were rancid... disgusting... like something died in her anus. So... because she didn't want anyone knowing she farted whenever she felt one coming she would come stand next to me and put her arm around me as if she wanted some cuddle time then drop one of those stinkbombs. Because nobody is going to think the 5'1" 115 lb chick just laid that room clearing abomination. No, they're gonna think the 200 lb slob standing next to her did.

What a bitch.

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That is like master level crop dusting right there. That is a talent few others possess. I'm strangely in love with her now, and I'm a married man.

When you find out two girls you want to hook up with have boyfriends and one maybe pregnant.....

You just finish up a game of "what do you meme" or something?

nope.....

Big Phoenix said:

Went on a date for the first time in almost 6 years. Seemed to go alright, talked for a few hours but didnt feel any spark.

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Soooooo where'd you go?

So I'm back to dating...looking for more of the wife material. It's been awhile since I had to get out the fishing pole, and man it seems things have changed... idk if it's culture or age... I'm 33 now, but boy it's god awful so far. They have mostly fallen into a few categories.

1) Hot pictures, followed by a few curvy ones, followed by being fat when you meet in person. To their credit, a couple of these girls have actually been pretty cool/intelligent. One even knows her Scottish clan, her father plays the bagpipes, she can cook and bake, interesting. Seriously considered lowering my standards, very cute face, but I just can't get over the fat and rolls. No attraction.
2) Looked cute, in person they were slang-wielding wannabe ride-or-die hip-hop lovers/grungy/bad teeth/weird mental shit that you just wanted to nooopppeee the fuck out.
3) Semi-hot/hot -- have the intelligence and personality of a wet fucking noodle. Type you would be sitting there saying, who the fuck is this retard I just fucked and let into my house. Telling me how she gonna save the planet or trees or some shit, right after she finishes bitching about her co-workers and gets her broken nail fixed, and finishes her 'insert useless degree she's been working on and off for 10 years on'.

Man, you really gotta get this shit right the first time as a young man and get those good ones early. And if you got a good one, even if there's a couple things here and there, hold on to that girl. Much much worse scavenging the leftovers. Problem is I ignored all those good ones for the crazy hot fun ones. Definitely regretting that shit now.

P.S. I'm taking tips on where to possibly find decent ones around my age group. Local groups to join, etc. I've seen some cute ones at my gym, but man I'm just not that gym guy creeping up on a girl that's just trying to get her workout on. Right now I've just been tapping the online dating venues. Probably not the best place for just normal down to earth girl material.

This is my ex... pretty smoking, kinda crazy, but compared to what's out there I'm starting to think I made a big mistake, and should just accept some-crazy as granted. Time to prostrate myself and ask for forgiveness? lol

Looking for some feedback/advice from people that may have gone/going through similar stuff.



tldr: mid-life crisis

Archeiron said:

I have been through something like this: divorced in 2013 at 36. I don't have all the answers, I haven't found the right one, but I have had three intelligent, pretty, and very cool girlfriend. Here is what I learned; I don't know if it will help.

Things I learned:

• Dating is about "at bats" not "batting average"
• Practice talking to everyone you meet and treat prospective dates no better/worse than the last person you happily chatted with (think: comfortable/casual not desperate/overly attentive)
• Bumble is better than Tinder for quality when you using online apps,
• Test your profile pictures, text, etc, and run experientd every 4-6 weeks to tweak it
• Leaving the area then coming back pages you to the top of the pile, this helps with getting swiped on
• having muscles helps a lot as do good hobbies (both to make you more appealing and so you don't give a shit),
• target 26-32 as they are in the "oh shit, I should get married" range
• Get friendly with your hand and your favourite porn site: desperation, and impatience will fuck over your decision making skills and demeanour
• Join some clubs/classes doing the kind of thing that you would want to do with a future wife, she might already be doing it and you can meet her there for the first time
• Be patient
• Ex-girlfriends that you split with on good terms like a grown up, will (a) fuck you casually if you/they aren't seeing anyone, and (b) will set you up with friends
• Be patient
• Serial date until someone is worth a third or fourth date: it takes time to wind that shit up and tear it down gracefully
• Be patient
• Go lead a life that is fucking fun and most girls will want in, and if they don't you are having to much fun to care
• 33 with a good job has higher sexual capital in the marriage material worked of women than 23 broke recent grad; just be confident

I still haven't found the right one and just moved to LA, where vacuous and shallow are virtues.

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Great advice. I'd also like to add that almost everyone that was worth dating more than just 1 or 2 times, was a setup from a mutual friend who knew both of us and thought we would be a match. Joining new clubs, and meeting new people will broaden your friend network. So don't think that an all male rock climbing group isn't gonna pay-off. If you are a good guy, make friends, and they like you, they may know someone and set you up.

FWIW, I've also had better luck at meeting new people when I'm NOT trying to meet new people, but just me enjoying me. Obviously, you have to be out and around (random women just don't go knocking on doors looking for guys), but when a single girls sees a happy confident guy who is enjoying life, they will notice it.

Now that stress levels have gone way down with the completion of the remodel, my wife has almost become a completely different person. As an added bonus, we got this sectional that she picked out that is wide as hell and is basically two giant chase lounges connected to each other with a large section in between. Thanks to width, we can both lay on one lounge together as we watch TV. Yeah the sex has been quite frequent now...

I have to thank the board. Back a few hundred pages or so we were talking about cooking for our S.O. I said mine really likes the way I cook steak. Anyway one/some of you were ribbing me about learning to cook sous vide. So I went down that rabid hole and I have been cook sous vide for the last 3 weeks.

Thanks for turning me on to that.