Noodleface
A Mod Real Quick
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I enjoy being at my house. Work is a nice break from two boys (2 and 4) going ape shit all day sun up to sun down though
Marriage and the Power of Divorce
- Thread starter Grumpus
- Start date
Y’all making me appreciate the hell out of my wife. This thread always delivers.
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Tarrant
<Prior Amod>
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My thing is I've been in their shoes which makes me appreciate my wife even more than you might be currently.
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Okay, just for something refreshing, I'm going to share about my wife. Not bragging, just something refreshing.
My wife hates cooking. And she's rubbish at it. However, she likes cleaning. Every time I cook, which is always, she cleans everything. Also, she cleans the house whenever she's able to do it. I like doing laundry, but she puts it away. When I work a lot, she figures out a way to get dinner ready, and she always has the house clean and neat. It's a real partnership here.
This isn't anything but letting people know it can work out really well. I fucking love being married.
My wife hates cooking. And she's rubbish at it. However, she likes cleaning. Every time I cook, which is always, she cleans everything. Also, she cleans the house whenever she's able to do it. I like doing laundry, but she puts it away. When I work a lot, she figures out a way to get dinner ready, and she always has the house clean and neat. It's a real partnership here.
This isn't anything but letting people know it can work out really well. I fucking love being married.
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Tarrant
<Prior Amod>
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Same. I went though some shit marriages (as most here know) but my wife is fantastic. She’s legitimately my best friend, we like hanging out but also enjoy our own shit separately too. We both have the same goals and are pretty like minded people. She’s my biggest fan and I’m hers and I can’t imagine ever being without her.
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Prodigal
Shitlord, Offender of the Universe
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Well, my ideal home is situated squarely in the middle of about 20 acres (5 - 10 would do) - ranch style, maybe a bonus room over the garage. 3 bedrooms 3 baths and a study (mine) in a back corner of the house away from the living areas. Beyond that wife can have whatever (office, sun room, sitting room, etc.) but ideally big family room and kitchen with open floor plan to living areas. This is what I've wanted since day one and she has always known it.
We'd been living in a 3 BR/2.5 bath house for about 10 years waiting on an investment to pay off and she starts getting the new home itch. All her friends have new homes to entertain in and she doesn't feel she has the room/nice new home to do so. She starts scouring real estate mags and the internet and even calling realtor friends and proceeds to obsess over getting a new home. Every time I tried to have a rational discussion it was all about me procrastinating, when I knew there was no way in hell we were going to be able to get what we wanted without aforementioned investments paying off. After about 18 months I just said fuck whatever and we bought a house (that is nothing like what I described) in a subdivision on less than half an acre less than a mile from a busy highway. But - there were very few houses right around us at the time...
A couple of years ago a spec builder came in, bought every empty lot and built a house on every damn one of them. Which is what you expect from, you know, a subdivision.
We've both learned very valuable lessons. For me - anytime someone comes to me with a stupid idea I make sure they know 1) it's stupid and 2) it's their stupid fucking idea and they better be prepared to own it. For her - attempting/succeeding to manipulate me is never going to be worth it in the long run.
Oh , forgot to mention - six months after we closed the investments paid off - which was good because there was a fuckton of stuff that we ended up having to get done on the new house.
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TJT
Mr. Poopybutthole
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I am so glad I don't have to deal with any of that house shit. Mine grew up in Eastern Europe and the style of living there is just dramatically different. A well off family of four will still be living in a 750SQFT flat. That is just how they live. So any house we get here is fine and we have similar tastes and I am a minimalist in general.
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Daelos
Guarding the guardians
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Well, mine also grew up in Eastern Europe and is happy enough living spartan. But this past year we've kind if been a really bad influence on each other as we've been building a new house. Instead of one partner suggesting something outrageous and the other being the sanity check, we've both gone completely bonkers.
Ended up with a gorgeous house, and a gorgeous debt to go with it.
Ended up with a gorgeous house, and a gorgeous debt to go with it.
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Lanx
<Prior Amod>
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you rent cuz you live in chinatown!!! you're like the first wave of gentrification
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iannis
Musty Nester
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Why do you want to further torment these burdened men with lies? The naked sadism of it is shocking.
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Noodleface
A Mod Real Quick
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I've just never been lovey dovey enough, I'm not wired like that
I'm married and I love my wife but being married wasn't ever anything I needed. It just happened. No level of partnership to me would lead me to think that way.
I've thought Im partially autistic for awhile and it's probably true
I'm married and I love my wife but being married wasn't ever anything I needed. It just happened. No level of partnership to me would lead me to think that way.
I've thought Im partially autistic for awhile and it's probably true
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Alex
Still a Music Elitist
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You have been amod on an internet gaming white nationalist forum multiple times. "Partially" lmao
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moonarchia
The Scientific Shitlord
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Well. not completely. He did manage to procreate and has a stable income.
Alex
Still a Music Elitist
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Plenty of successful autistic people. See: almost every developer in Bay Area tech.
Noodleface
A Mod Real Quick
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Oblio
Utah
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Saturday will be 16 years married and we have been together for 21.5 years total. Our sex life is probably the best it has ever been as far as passion/pleasure and the frequency is almost equal to what it was 20 years ago. Seems like every Monday one of us calls the other by 10am just to say "I miss you."
Don't get me wrong, it is not all roses 24/7 we do have moments of being really shitty to each other, but they are just that "moments." We always apologize with sincerity, we do what we call "making it right" where we do 3 things 1) state what we did wrong 2) state how we think/perceive it affected the other person 3) ask them to accept our apology (works great with kids too).
Marriage is great if you are willing to put in the effort and have a spouse willing to do the same. And like I have said on here a number of times it is not always 50/50 sometimes it is 90/10 or 70/30 etc, but that is what makes it a true partnership, when you are willing to pick up the other's slack because you know they will do the same for you. If you are in a self-described shitty marriage look inward first and try not to be selfish, pick up your partners slack and don't hold it over them and see if that makes a positive impact on their attitude toward you/life/work etc.
Don't get me wrong, it is not all roses 24/7 we do have moments of being really shitty to each other, but they are just that "moments." We always apologize with sincerity, we do what we call "making it right" where we do 3 things 1) state what we did wrong 2) state how we think/perceive it affected the other person 3) ask them to accept our apology (works great with kids too).
Marriage is great if you are willing to put in the effort and have a spouse willing to do the same. And like I have said on here a number of times it is not always 50/50 sometimes it is 90/10 or 70/30 etc, but that is what makes it a true partnership, when you are willing to pick up the other's slack because you know they will do the same for you. If you are in a self-described shitty marriage look inward first and try not to be selfish, pick up your partners slack and don't hold it over them and see if that makes a positive impact on their attitude toward you/life/work etc.
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Prodigal
Shitlord, Offender of the Universe
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Will be 26 years next month. Sex life is about the same as it’s always been - once every week to ten days. Biggest difference is who’s complaining about lack of frequency. Needless to say for the earlier portion of our marriage I was bringing it up, but she was always making excuses or bitching about what she wanted to get done. Then it was kids, job, family, etc.
I think the turning point came about 6 years ago when her mother was diagnosed with ALS. She, her father and brother decided to take care of her at home themselves so she was going there after work 4 days a week, including every other weekend. I took care of our household and she helped there.
That’s when she began to appreciate what she had and when I realized how nice it was to not have her constantly bitching about what I do with my own time. Didn’t help matters that her father (who I despise) was giving her shitty advice on how to “show her appreciation” to me when she was home. He is the primary reason she refused to listen to me for 20 years and now she’s listening to the goddamned fool talk about what I need?
Anyway, we manage but there’s a lot of shit that doesn’t get brought up because for years the minute her feelings got hurt she didn’t want to talk about it anymore... and now she knows I give no fucks about feelings anymore and will drill down instantly to the root issue and she doesn’t want to go there. She wants it all to be water under the bridge, but she is going to deal with the repercussions of her previous shitty attitude as long as I do.
I think the turning point came about 6 years ago when her mother was diagnosed with ALS. She, her father and brother decided to take care of her at home themselves so she was going there after work 4 days a week, including every other weekend. I took care of our household and she helped there.
That’s when she began to appreciate what she had and when I realized how nice it was to not have her constantly bitching about what I do with my own time. Didn’t help matters that her father (who I despise) was giving her shitty advice on how to “show her appreciation” to me when she was home. He is the primary reason she refused to listen to me for 20 years and now she’s listening to the goddamned fool talk about what I need?
Anyway, we manage but there’s a lot of shit that doesn’t get brought up because for years the minute her feelings got hurt she didn’t want to talk about it anymore... and now she knows I give no fucks about feelings anymore and will drill down instantly to the root issue and she doesn’t want to go there. She wants it all to be water under the bridge, but she is going to deal with the repercussions of her previous shitty attitude as long as I do.