Marriage and the Power of Divorce

Noodleface said:

Thanks boys this is all solid advice. Think I'm gonna start with some more social date nights. I also found an applachian trail club that does tons of hikes around here.

As far as world of warcraft... I'd much sooner walk off a bridge than play another mmo

Click to expand...

Have you given any consideration to finding some other nerd activity you both like that could involve other people? Like a board game or TTRPG night? Or maybe a good old fashioned movie night?

Izo said:

Marriage and the Power of Divorce

www.firesofheaven.org

https://www.firesofheaven.org/threads/the-foh-naughty-bits-and-tits-thread.7017/page-16

Click to expand...

Right on cue.

Noodleface said:

Not really a marriage question per se, but tangientially related since it involves my wife.

She was a stay at home mom for about 8 or 9 years until last year. She was making some comments about feeling lonely so we decided she should start working again just to get out of the house. The money aspect was really just a bonus because I can support us both, but figured it might give her a sense of purpose and contribution plus allow her to interact with actual adults.

Fast forward now and she's been complaining a bit that she doesn't have any friends. Neither of us really do, but for me it's kind of just how I roll, I've always been kind of a loner and prefer it most times. She's not crazy social, but I think when she drifted apart from her best friends there's a void there. I fill what I can being me, but I can understand she's got no outlet away from me. I was hoping she might make friends at her job, but really all she has are work acquaintances.

She complained a couple times and I tried to offer some advice, but it's been more frequent lately and I'm starting to worry it's making her depressed. Compound that with the fact it's difficult for any adult to make new friends, I'm not really sure what to do.

I've thought about what kind of activities she could do, either solo or as a couple, that might allow her to get out there a bit but I'm not sure.

Any advice?

Click to expand...

Damn, I missed this. She needs to ditch the job and get hobbies instead. She can't make friends at work because she works with teachers. 90% of them are unlikeable and miserable. I think it gets better if you go down to elementary school, but they're still a bunch of teachers.

But aside from just saying "get some hobbies", she also needs to figure out her personality type. When I married my wife, we both thought we were introverts. But she wanted more friends. So we took some personality tests and found out that while I was an actual introvert, she was an extrovert with neurotic tendencies. Those feelings she got after talking to strangers weren't disgust (like I get), they were just her worrying she had said something embarrassing.

Then get hobbies. Walk the neighborhood and talk to people. Find something you wanna do, start doing it, and talk to the other people doing it. It's both incredibly easy and incredibly difficult at the same time.

I don't know her so I will throw out random stupid ideas now.
1. Join a dying message board to talk about how much MMOs suck now
2. A Girl and a Gun
3. D&D or other tabletop games (Look for card shops in the area, they definitely host various game nights)
4. Start hitting up conventions in the area
5. Take a diesel mechanics class.
6. Start Cowboy Action shooting.
7. Take your county's CERT training and start a neighborhood group. (Community Emergency Response Team, it's a FEMA program)

OK so those aren't random. Other than #1 those are things we did. We have a list of classes and shit she wants to drag me to.