Marriage and the Power of Divorce
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Article is complete fiction. There exists not a single woman that doesn't love to nag.
iannis
Musty Nester
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Aww man how'd I miss all the fun fart talk. My farts don't stink either, Sut. These are some hyper sensitive fart sniffers on this board.
Except every now and then I'll rip one and run myself out of the room.
And my family will specifically come to FIND each other when they need to fart. The pull my finger stuff peters out around 5 years old. From then on out you just walk up to someone and distract them with, "You know. I was thinkin about that..." and then let one rip. And then "Ah, nevermind." and you walk away.
Except every now and then I'll rip one and run myself out of the room.
And my family will specifically come to FIND each other when they need to fart. The pull my finger stuff peters out around 5 years old. From then on out you just walk up to someone and distract them with, "You know. I was thinkin about that..." and then let one rip. And then "Ah, nevermind." and you walk away.
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BrutulTM
Good, bad, I'm the guy with the gun.
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The worst thing is having farts that don't stink 80% of the time. I can usually get away with sneaking one out almost anywhere, but then once in a while the plan fails pretty spectacularly. Last summer I farted outdoors on a golf course and I thought my cousin was going to pass out from it.
Adam Carolla tells a story of a great fart gag. You put your hand on the floor and go "Hey man, this is really weird, there's like a soft spot on the floor here." and then when they bend over to feel it you trap their head between your thighs and let it rip. He also claims to have farted into a coffee can, put the lid on, and then given it to Jimmy Kimmel and said "Oh man, smell this coffee, it's awesome".
Adam Carolla tells a story of a great fart gag. You put your hand on the floor and go "Hey man, this is really weird, there's like a soft spot on the floor here." and then when they bend over to feel it you trap their head between your thighs and let it rip. He also claims to have farted into a coffee can, put the lid on, and then given it to Jimmy Kimmel and said "Oh man, smell this coffee, it's awesome".
Noodleface
A Mod Real Quick
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I had a friend that asked his mom to check his lower back for a bug bite. When she went in close he farted in her face, he was then slapped.
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I always thought dating a girl who wanted to be an actress would be a disaster. Either she doesn't really make anything of it, so you're dating someone who failed, or she becomes successful and suddenly she's a big shot actress and you look like dog meat compared to all the male model actors out there she could be dating. Even if she is one of those moderately successful people who never make it big but make a decent living, she's gonna be around lead role dudes who are impossibly good looking and she'll want to bang them.
Also, I'm in the category of I don't want a girl I'm dating to fart around me. Girls don't want guys crying around them or being insecure around them for the same reason I don't want a girl farting around me.
Also, I'm in the category of I don't want a girl I'm dating to fart around me. Girls don't want guys crying around them or being insecure around them for the same reason I don't want a girl farting around me.
Adebisi
Clump of Cells
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This is why I'm the cook of the house. Fact: Women can't cook for shit.
Asking a woman to "Make me a sammich" is putting your tastebuds at risk.
Sutekh
Blackwing Lair Raider
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She doesn't want to be an actress haha, she will sometimes do standins/small parts odd jobs but mainly works on production crews. Either way I'm of the mindset that I don't give two shits about jealousy. If she's going to cheat it's, going to happen regardless of who she's around.
chaos
Buzzfeed Editor
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Yeah I never understood that. Why would I want an inferior sandwich? I'll make my own sandwich, thanks.
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Gravy
Bronze Squire
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How do you think I ever got a woman? It wasn't my good looks or my rapist wit.
Attachment 88788
P.S. I can lick my eyebrows.
opiate82
Bronze Squire
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Your man can probably cook just fine but fucks it up on purpose so he doesn't have to.