Parent Thread

ToeMissile

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T-minus 70 days for my first.

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Only hard advice i give is to sleep when the baby sleeps. It can be tough, but you'll pick it uo quick enough; one arm carry football style in no time.
 

OU Ariakas

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My only advice is to sleep train that baby as soon as possible. Lots of friends who thought cry-it-out was mean now have 3 to 5 year olds that won't sleep in their own rooms a single night. Meanwhile, all three of ours are out cold from 7:30pm to 7am and have been since 6-9 months old. It is the best decision my wife and I ever made.
 
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Arative

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Gotta love hospital discharge. Obgyn came in at 5:30 am and said my wife is ready for discharge. Peds said my daughter is ready for discharge at 9 am. Nurses told us that discharge could be as late 4 pm.
 
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Noodleface

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They discharged my wife 3 days before the kid but told her she needed to stay with the kid. This meant they no longer fed her or helped her with personal care but required her to take care of the kid too. This last hospital SUCKED.
 

Arative

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They discharged my wife 3 days before the kid but told her she needed to stay with the kid. This meant they no longer fed her or helped her with personal care but required her to take care of the kid too. This last hospital SUCKED.

At least our hospital is really nice. This new maternity wing just opened in February. With our son we were at the same hospital but different area, had to bang on the wall in the next room to get the light to turn off in our room.
 

fred sanford

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Thankfully my wife's doctor is in a rich area of town and our room was comfortable and nice. The hospital birthing wing had amenities along with some packages for 'those damn rich people'. I don't see it on their site anymore but they used to offer a ride home in a limo.

Ultimate Suite Package $400 for the first day $50 for each additional day
Relax in the comfort of one of our two luxurious retreats that both feature a spacious sitting area. Your favorite floral bouquet, magazines, a plush keepsake robe and a fully stocked refrigerator are available upon your arrival. Additionally, an intimate dinner for two from Ruth’s Chris Steak House delivered to the privacy of your suite

Platinum Suite Package $700 for the first day $50 for each additional day
This package includes all the tailored amenities in the Ultimate Suite Package and the Premium Suite Package, plus a whole lot more. Mom will receive a luxurious, designer birthing gown and a “Welcome Baby” or “Relaxation” gift basket. Plus, capture baby’s first days with a photography package from Baby Face Portraits that includes four images, 12 birth announcements and a “Baby Steps” in-home photography plan.

Welcome Baby Toast
Celebrate your new baby’s arrival with refreshing sparkling apple cider served in two Baby Place engraved keepsake champagne flutes.

Among our services are:
  • Personal Birth Experience Team
  • Relaxation lounge
  • Ultra-soft, 600-thread-count sheets
  • A refreshing smoothie of the day
  • Flat screen television
  • Wi-Fi access
  • High-end bath products
  • In-room digital laptop-sized safe
  • Valet parking
 

Noodleface

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To put it into perspective , my wife gave birth in our home and when we arrived they made her shower by herself and she fell. That was the beginning..
 
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OU Ariakas

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To put it into perspective , my wife gave birth in our home and when we arrived they made her shower by herself and she fell. That was the beginning..

I would have sued that hospital for neglect of a patient if my recovering wife was told to shower alone and fell. Fuck that noise.
 

OU Ariakas

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We recently had our third...this is easy compared to twins the first time.

View attachment 162847

Same exact situation here. Started with twins and then laughed at other parents when one was tired because they got to choose who had to stay up all night with the kid. Our third seemed so easy by comparison that we are considering a fourth.
 

Crone

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Kids are 4 3 and 1, and wife wants more, but I'm not interested. Odd perspective with my new job having me gone all week and then home on weekends. I get home Friday night and am almost immediately overwhelmed from the kids. When you're not around it all the time you quickly get not used to it.
 
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3301

Wake Up Man
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Same exact situation here. Started with twins and then laughed at other parents when one was tired because they got to choose who had to stay up all night with the kid. Our third seemed so easy by comparison that we are considering a fourth.

Yeah singleton parents are like elite rich snooty assholes who got it easy in life. Twins is like going to prison. Three or more you should probably just disappear yourself.
 
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Bandwagon

Kolohe
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Any podcast recommendations for soon to be first time parents? Like, when do we switch from milk to steak, or how old does she have to be before I can start giving her chores? How to change a diaper in full MOPP4?
 

ZyyzYzzy

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Any podcast recommendations for soon to be first time parents? Like, when do we switch from milk to steak, or how old does she have to be before I can start giving her chores? How to change a diaper in full MOPP4?
MOPP4? I suggest a fully pressurized suit.

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Bandwagon

Kolohe
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I need a Tuco Tuco diaper-changing robot ASAP, please.

I dry-heave when I pick up dry dog shit. I'm not ready for this. It's a miracle that I could keep my composure on EMS calls, but the poop calls are the ones that haunt me, not traumas/deaths.
 

Tuco

I got Tuco'd!
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I need a Tuco Tuco diaper-changing robot ASAP, please.

I dry-heave when I pick up dry dog shit. I'm not ready for this. It's a miracle that I could keep my composure on EMS calls, but the poop calls are the ones that haunt me, not traumas/deaths.
I can assure you that you do not want a diaper changing robot.

It'd either accidentally murder your child or fling poop everywhere.

Probably both.
 
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ToeMissile

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You don't have to worry about much poop smell until they start solids.

As far as what/when/how much, just talk to your ped Dr and do a little follow up research if you feel the need. The +/- range can be pretty broad it's gonna depend on the kid. There aren't really that many hard rules beyond the "common sense" stuff.
 
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Arative

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I need a Tuco Tuco diaper-changing robot ASAP, please.

I dry-heave when I pick up dry dog shit. I'm not ready for this. It's a miracle that I could keep my composure on EMS calls, but the poop calls are the ones that haunt me, not traumas/deaths.

Wait until you are projectile vomited on at 3 am! That's the best.
 
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