ToeMissile
Pronouns: zie/zhem/zer
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Noodleface
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My kid as you remember was a late bloomer with speech. He's been in early intervention for almost a year and he won't qualify again, they've already told us. He's a couple months over 2 years old now and he's just progressed so rapidly.
He says near full sentences and can say basically anything. He can't say ravioli though, and it's hilarious. He says "rav ioyki loli cacky", like his mind just jumbles it.
We actually had a new speech pathologist because we had the other quit the agency. When she came she wasn't sure how advanced he was until he told her the ABCs from memory, all the numbers up to 10, every color and a bunch of shapes (including semi-circle, quadrafoil, pentagon, octagon, hexsgon) and laid out some knowledge on her about the house. She said she'd never seen a 2 year old that knows the alphabet and numbers. And he can spell his name. She was equally surprised that we didn't teach him the alphabet, he taught himself using a toy my mother bought him.
Anyways, the point is while we were really worried early on it all worked out.
On another topic, we've enter almost potty training time. We got him a tiny potty and put it in my bathroom (because he mimics everything dad does). We've been having problems where he won't tell you he crapped his diaper, sometimes leading to bad rashes. He just refuses. That is until we incentivize it with m&Ms. Now he'll tell us when he's pooping or has pooped because he gets 12 m&Ms. Today was the first day he said "Daddy I'm pooping" and started grunting. Then after changing he says "candy please". I know this isn't some mind-blowing thing for any parent, but for a dude that refused to tell us when he shit, it's amazing.
He says near full sentences and can say basically anything. He can't say ravioli though, and it's hilarious. He says "rav ioyki loli cacky", like his mind just jumbles it.
We actually had a new speech pathologist because we had the other quit the agency. When she came she wasn't sure how advanced he was until he told her the ABCs from memory, all the numbers up to 10, every color and a bunch of shapes (including semi-circle, quadrafoil, pentagon, octagon, hexsgon) and laid out some knowledge on her about the house. She said she'd never seen a 2 year old that knows the alphabet and numbers. And he can spell his name. She was equally surprised that we didn't teach him the alphabet, he taught himself using a toy my mother bought him.
Anyways, the point is while we were really worried early on it all worked out.
On another topic, we've enter almost potty training time. We got him a tiny potty and put it in my bathroom (because he mimics everything dad does). We've been having problems where he won't tell you he crapped his diaper, sometimes leading to bad rashes. He just refuses. That is until we incentivize it with m&Ms. Now he'll tell us when he's pooping or has pooped because he gets 12 m&Ms. Today was the first day he said "Daddy I'm pooping" and started grunting. Then after changing he says "candy please". I know this isn't some mind-blowing thing for any parent, but for a dude that refused to tell us when he shit, it's amazing.
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Noodleface
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Woefully Inept
Ssraeszha Raider
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nazon
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My two year old is obsessed with Blippi. He can steal an iphone, launch youtube, and have Blippi playing in about 5 seconds. We got him a t-shirt and the good night story book. Stevin, the creator of Blippi, must make a killing.
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Onoes
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So, fun one tonight.
I'm cooking dinner when my son (8) yells "DAAAAAAD!" from the bathroom. I yell back "What?". Silence, I continue cooking for maybe 10 seconds and he screams "DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAADDDDDD!!!!!!!"
So, I go stomping back in annoyed mode saying "Dude, I said what. You can't scream like that unless something is actually wrong or you are hurt or something. What?" He's standing in front of the toilet just pointing into the bowl.
I walk up thinking maybe there is something in the bowl, an insect or something, but its just his shit floating there. I say "Gross, what?" And he goes "There!" and I lean in and look and start to say "What????" again, when I see this little white worm swim and burrow into his shit. Now, a couple of months ago he had told us that he saw a worm in his poop, but he had flushed it. After talking with him, his story seemed more fantasy made up than real. I was pretty sure he hadn't really seen a worm, and told him if it happened again to let us know, but that it was probably just a piece of toilet paper or something. Apparently I was wrong.
So, I calmly say "You have worms in your poop. Don't worry, let me see what that means." because I don't want to freak him out, but I'm pulling out my phone and googling to see if this is a no big deal OR a run to the ER as fast as you can type thing. I have no experience with worms in shit.
I google "worms in childs poop" and the image search at the top has 3 very different images with 3 very different looking worms. I spot the one in the toilet immediately, and tap the picture. It's a Pinworm. I then google Pinworms and start reading.
Apparently they are basically like Lice for your colon. They are super contagious, and if he has really had this for months, chances are everyone in my house probably has them. They don't really harm you, they are just a pest basically, a gross, gross pest. The treatment is to get some of this Pyrantel-Pamoate stuff and drink a dose. That will kill all the worms in your intestines (Which you will then diarrhea shit out like a horror movie I assume). Next, everything in the house needs to be washed, dried, surfaces scrubbed, etc., again, just like lice, because their eggs are microscopic and they lay thousands of them. How do they get everywhere you ask? Well, apparently, when you are sleeping at night (this is legit I swear), the mother worms come out of your asshole, and lay eggs all over and around your asshole, then they go back in. These get all over any clothes you might be wearing, sheets, etc. These also make your asshole itch, so you scratch it, and now your hands are covered. You wake up in the morning and touch the toilet, you touch the counter, the sink, you wash your hands and dry them. They are god damned everywhere basically.
Anyway, you drink the juice and they die. You super clean your house, every surface and every fiber. You hopefully get most of them... but 2 weeks later you drink the stuff again, because chances are you still had viable eggs on you, or have been exposed from something you missed and have them again, so you kill them before they are mature and laying eggs again.
So, best case scenario is 3 weeks to decontaminate everyone and the house, but I'm thinking I'll do it all a 3rd time at 5 weeks, because gross.
I'm going to go to the pediatrician in the morning just for peace of mind.
On the bright side, my asshole has been super itchy the last few weeks, I was worried I was getting hemorrhoids. Nope, it's cool, just a body full of The Thing. *whew* bullet dodged.
I'm cooking dinner when my son (8) yells "DAAAAAAD!" from the bathroom. I yell back "What?". Silence, I continue cooking for maybe 10 seconds and he screams "DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAADDDDDD!!!!!!!"
So, I go stomping back in annoyed mode saying "Dude, I said what. You can't scream like that unless something is actually wrong or you are hurt or something. What?" He's standing in front of the toilet just pointing into the bowl.
I walk up thinking maybe there is something in the bowl, an insect or something, but its just his shit floating there. I say "Gross, what?" And he goes "There!" and I lean in and look and start to say "What????" again, when I see this little white worm swim and burrow into his shit. Now, a couple of months ago he had told us that he saw a worm in his poop, but he had flushed it. After talking with him, his story seemed more fantasy made up than real. I was pretty sure he hadn't really seen a worm, and told him if it happened again to let us know, but that it was probably just a piece of toilet paper or something. Apparently I was wrong.
So, I calmly say "You have worms in your poop. Don't worry, let me see what that means." because I don't want to freak him out, but I'm pulling out my phone and googling to see if this is a no big deal OR a run to the ER as fast as you can type thing. I have no experience with worms in shit.
I google "worms in childs poop" and the image search at the top has 3 very different images with 3 very different looking worms. I spot the one in the toilet immediately, and tap the picture. It's a Pinworm. I then google Pinworms and start reading.
Apparently they are basically like Lice for your colon. They are super contagious, and if he has really had this for months, chances are everyone in my house probably has them. They don't really harm you, they are just a pest basically, a gross, gross pest. The treatment is to get some of this Pyrantel-Pamoate stuff and drink a dose. That will kill all the worms in your intestines (Which you will then diarrhea shit out like a horror movie I assume). Next, everything in the house needs to be washed, dried, surfaces scrubbed, etc., again, just like lice, because their eggs are microscopic and they lay thousands of them. How do they get everywhere you ask? Well, apparently, when you are sleeping at night (this is legit I swear), the mother worms come out of your asshole, and lay eggs all over and around your asshole, then they go back in. These get all over any clothes you might be wearing, sheets, etc. These also make your asshole itch, so you scratch it, and now your hands are covered. You wake up in the morning and touch the toilet, you touch the counter, the sink, you wash your hands and dry them. They are god damned everywhere basically.
Anyway, you drink the juice and they die. You super clean your house, every surface and every fiber. You hopefully get most of them... but 2 weeks later you drink the stuff again, because chances are you still had viable eggs on you, or have been exposed from something you missed and have them again, so you kill them before they are mature and laying eggs again.
So, best case scenario is 3 weeks to decontaminate everyone and the house, but I'm thinking I'll do it all a 3rd time at 5 weeks, because gross.
I'm going to go to the pediatrician in the morning just for peace of mind.
On the bright side, my asshole has been super itchy the last few weeks, I was worried I was getting hemorrhoids. Nope, it's cool, just a body full of The Thing. *whew* bullet dodged.
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Noodleface
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My dad had that I guess before I was born. My mom said she turned on a flash light in the dark and saw the worm come out of his ass
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Woefully Inept
Ssraeszha Raider
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Well I don't know wtf happened in the last week or so but things to be finally clicking for our son. When asked to say a word he'll at least try even if it isn't close. My wife was out at a friends during bed time so I took a video of him saying "ni-night mommy" for the first time and sent it to her. It's super exciting seeing noticeable progress in a short period of time.
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Ssraeszha Raider
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Just think if you were on Naked & Afraid you'd at least be guaranteed calories every time a worm pops out.
Mrs. Gravy
Quite Saucy
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The sentence "Daddy, I'm pooping" has 5 morphemes...that is quite beyond his age. (look up Brown's morphology). I would dc him now if that would be typical in a language sample. (@ this point, I remind you my degree is in SLP and early childhood was my specialty.)
Oblio
Utah
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Holy shit, how did I miss that this was your specialty? The wife and I might send you a few questions about our youngest. I could probably send you a better pic than Noodle posted as payment
Mrs. Gravy
Quite Saucy
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I changed jobs 16 years ago and now monitor therapy and other services, but I try to keep up...pm me and if I can help, I will. I still have lots of friends in all of the therapies...SLPs, OTs, and PTs.
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Now every time my asshole itches I think "Fuck, it's pinworms."
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Noodleface
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