Pregnancy Thread

From what she was told because she'll be out of sick days (mostly due to the IVF and a kidney stone) and she'll be out at the very end of the school year the premiums won't get paid because she won't be getting a check because she won't have any paid time off left. Honestly it doesn't really make much sense to me so I'm hoping it's a load of shit but she doesn't seem to think so. Trying to have a contingency plan in place Just In Case.

I think this might help, lol:

Why do teachers get health insurance during the summer when they dont even work?


Back on point, I think that's a load of shit. Did she talk to anyone from the teacher's union?

Does your wife just have absolutely no maternity leave benefits in her employment contract? It's just going to be all about that, and is going to vary with every company(school) in existence.

Sounds like if what you are saying is true, your wifes school has really shitty benefits and doesn't offer any maternity leave beyond just using your standard sick days. That's not the norm at all for most companies that offer benefits to full-time employees. I guess the one exception could be if her benefits are set up to where maternity leave actually uses her short-term disability and she's already used her maximum allotment for the year, then that would throw a wrench into the whole ordeal. Many employers only offer 3 or 6 months of short-term paid disability before you then have to go on permanent/long term/government disability. If she already used all of that this year, and that is what allocated for her maternity leave, she's boned.

My wife's stuff was the same way (nurse). If she wanted to take more time off than she had paid leave she would also have to pay her insurance premiums. So she has enough paid time off to last 4 months from the birth. She is allowed to take up to 6 months off but since she would be out of vacation and sick pay for the last two she would also have to pay for her health insurance premiums out of pocket.

Yeah, and that's pretty normal. My wife got 3 months maternity leave fully paid, but could take up to an extra 3 months unpaid if she wanted(she didnt)

For most people, fully paid FMLA time isn't the norm. Not even close. Quick search shows only 12% of workers have access to paid leave. Less than 40% have a access to a disability policy which pays far less than people think it does. In fact, 40% of workers don't even have paid sick days which is pathetic.

They can file for FMLA and take the time but for many if they don't have sick or PTO saved they don't get paid. Disability insurance is also nice to have although it pays much less than people think. After the waiting period is up you're lucky to get 2 to 3 weeks paid. Still worth the premiums in some cases but not as much as people expect.

I paid for my girls when they went on leave and they were grateful. That rarely happens for the vast majority of workers.

Really something needs to change about that. Pretty pathetic.

If you take a lot of time off without pto or benefits (no check) they can charge you for the insurance. If you go over the fmla time doing such they can charge you the fill amount they pay for insurance.

She hasn't used any short term disability so I guess she'll have that at least. She is still waiting on HR for more info so we'll see what they say. When I get more info I'll post an update on how bad or not so bad it is.

I'm glad my wife is on my insurance.. wouldn't even want to know how the government would try to fuck her (USPS)

Congrats Arative, he's awesome =)

No Eomer, getting cut is for for tribesmen who still live in huts. I didn't get my son cut, no regrets. Since he was born this convo has come up a few times, and I've been surprised to see just how common it's becoming to not cut.

OneofOne_sl said:

Congrats Arative, he's awesome =)

No Eomer, getting cut is for for tribesmen who still live in huts. I didn't get my son cut, no regrets. Since he was born this convo has come up a few times, and I've been surprised to see just how common it's becoming to not cut.

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Not as cut and dried as you like to think:Newborn Male Circumcision

What, the "justification after the fact" we've been doing? Anyway:

but the benefits are not great enough to recommend universal newborn circumcision.

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Does your family have a history of some sort of penile disease that removing the foreskin lessens the chance of?

Eomer_sl said:

That's such a tough call. I'm cut, as I was raised Catholic, but could give a fuck less about the church now. However, there's definitely cosmetic reasons to get cut, and there's some (controversial) arguments for health benefits as well. Apparently the American Academy of Pediatrics thinks that the benefits outweigh the downsides. I'm not sure what I'd do, if I ever have a son.

Circumcision: Get the Facts, Benefits, Risks & More

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Why not let the child decide if he wants to mutilate his body and risk infections once he's older and his immune system can handle the challenge?

Because the healing time is far longer and the pain is significantly higher as an adult?

Glad I have girls though. That's a tough decision I wouldn't want to make.

lindz_sl said:

Because the healing time is far longer and the pain is significantly higher as an adult?

Glad I have girls though. That's a tough decision I wouldn't want to make.

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I don't consider them to be equal risks/benefits at all. We vaccinate against more than 40 variants of HPV including the dreaded 16 and 18. Combine with hygiene and the risks of circumcision outweigh the benefits. Performing unnecessary, non-disease related, permanent surgery on a child with an immune system inferior to that of a young adult on the basis of avoiding pain seems silly to me. As for phimosis and any other aspect of sexuality, talking to your kids about sex is important. Thus phimosis can be treated safely. Same with contraception and protection. Most candidates for surgery are preteens or teens here. Surgery and recovery is not a problem afaik.

To us circumcision borders child abuse, or simply backwards religious thinking. It's baffling that f.inst. you'd force a pregnancy on someone, protecting the rights of the child over the mother's right to her own body - but as soon as the child is born, you'd take away those rights to his own body. Let the kid decide when he can understand the risks and consequences.

Hyperbole: there is a reason you do not consider mutilating girls genitalia, possibly avoiding unwanted pregnancies and STI's. I'm unsure why anyone would consider it okay to do it to boys. In any case, I'm glad this malpractice for either sex based in religious dogma is on the decline. Good riddance.

Tred_sl said:

From what she was told because she'll be out of sick days (mostly due to the IVF and a kidney stone) and she'll be out at the very end of the school year the premiums won't get paid because she won't be getting a check because she won't have any paid time off left. Honestly it doesn't really make much sense to me so I'm hoping it's a load of shit but she doesn't seem to think so. Trying to have a contingency plan in place Just In Case.

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My wife is a teacher too, she has to use all of her sick time for her maternity leave and that was going to get us to 6 weeks and she can take up to 12 weeks which she is going too. We had been saving up money to cover her paycheck but her school district didn't tell her anything about have to cover insurance premiums during the unpaid leave part but they are unorganized, so maybe they just didn't tell her anything. Turns out her district has a policy of banking days that goes by years in the district and she's been in the district 12 years, so she can take upto 27 days and she's taking 21 extra days and has to pay back 12 days. So for the next two years, she instead of getting her 15 sick days, she will only get 9 days. If she ends up leaving her job before the 2nd year, we have to pay back any money for the days she didn't pay back. So you might check and see if her district has a similar policy.

Arative_sl said:

My wife is a teacher too, she has to use all of her sick time for her maternity leave and that was going to get us to 6 weeks and she can take up to 12 weeks which she is going too. We had been saving up money to cover her paycheck but her school district didn't tell her anything about have to cover insurance premiums during the unpaid leave part but they are unorganized, so maybe they just didn't tell her anything. Turns out her district has a policy of banking days that goes by years in the district and she's been in the district 12 years, so she can take upto 27 days and she's taking 21 extra days and has to pay back 12 days. So for the next two years, she instead of getting her 15 sick days, she will only get 9 days. If she ends up leaving her job before the 2nd year, we have to pay back any money for the days she didn't pay back. So you might check and see if her district has a similar policy.

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Thanks for this suggestion. I mentioned it to her and she thought it sounded like a good idea.


edit: She spoke* to her principal today and at the very least he said they'll be able to give her some work she can do over the summer. I imagine it'll be doing IEP's which she usually does over the summer but always gets paid at the end of the summer. They might be able to pay her up front and she'll do them over the summer. That would help a ton.


*by "spoke" I mean she broke down and blubbered to him about it. This isn't the first time she's done it. She complains he's too damn easy to talk to.

Twelve weeks in, doing good so far. The first "scare" period is over.

Let's not kid ourselves, it's never over. Don't read the following spoiler if you're pregnant or otherwise labile.

I think we just hit 17 weeks or something, it all blends in. She's now starting to show. She's really petite so most people will just assume she's getting fat, but in a few weeks I don't think there will be any doubt.

I can not even imagine how they feel. I don't know them but terribly sorry to hear that.

So our pregnancy is going along fine except for my wife's overwhelming anxiety. During the week it's hit or miss. Some days good, some days bad. Weekends though forget it. The past 3 weekends she has cried ALL weekend. And I don't mean she gets upset a couple times over the weekend. It'll start when she feels a little twinge of a cramp or something even though her doctor has told her many times that what she is feeling is quite normal. She'll start sobbing around noon then by 3 she's full on hysterically upset until bed time. She does see a counselor and will see a psychiatrist but still waiting for her in take appointment.
In the mean time THANKFULLY one of our friends sent her their old doppler so she can now hear the heartbeat when she wants. It's only been a couple days since that came in the mail and the difference is noticeable. What makes it even more difficult is the first 3 doses of chemo I've had have picked up right where it left off and it's making me feel incredibly awful which of course doesn't help at all. I've got every appendage crossed hoping this doppler helps enough 'till she can see the psychiatrist.

Honestly she's always had anxiety issues. Once she resolves one thing she just picks another thing to get anxiety by until that gets resolved and the cycle begins anew. It's pretty fucking frustrating I gotta say. lol