Violence and death in general aren't necessarily triggers, it'll be more just thinking about him I guess, along with the way the show doesn't sugar coat shit. That being said, caught the end of Deer Hunter on TV not long ago, and the final Russian Roulette scene definitely took me to a dark place, just because my brother had been shot in the head, and the heightened emotions of that scene.
I know I will watch it, I'll do it because as Pharmakos stated, he'd want me to, I just know it's going to be a darker experience than it should be. My kid loves the show, it use to be one of the things she did with her Uncle, so I'm preemptively steeling myself against what that might stir up for her as well.
On the bigger picture level, I've dealt with my grief, I made my piece with death a long time ago, it usually doesn't get to me. The big thing with my brother is that he was only 19 and he was the last person that anyone who knew him would ever think someone would want to kill. He was a good person, whole life ahead of him, infinite potential cliche and all. The dude who did it killed himself, so we got robbed of justice, though I personally feel it's better this way, the other 3 brothers don't have to go to jail for the inevitable act of revenge. And all of it over a woman, of course, the age old bringer of war between men. I understand the events and motivations leading up to everything, but at the end of the day it doesn't do much to assuage the hollow pit in my stomach or the lump of rage in my chest, and it's the little things like this show that keep popping up, turning the knife so to speak.
Wubba lubba dub dub...
