Shit

Bandwagon

Bandwagon

Kolohe
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Me trying to figure out which part of this to post in the 4Posterity thread.
Thinking Think GIF by Rodney Dangerfield
 
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Bandwagon

Bandwagon

Kolohe
<Silver Donator>
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Bandwagon said:
I just put this on the shelf in front of the toilet at work. Pretty excited for my coworkers to find it tomorrow
View attachment 362513
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I was working in the field the next day and missed a few people finding it. I did hear the principal engineer say "Are you FUCKING KIDDING ME?" when he was in the bathroom, then "That better be a joke..." when he came out. And one of the drafters was just laughing hysterically about 30 seconds after he went into the bathroom. Great success.
 
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DickTrickle

DickTrickle

Definitely NOT Furor Planedefiler
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Lendarios said:
Shits

My asshole is wrecked from 2 hemorrhoidectomy that I had over the years. On top of that when the big shit comes out, God likes to fuck with me so I have a conical shape foot long with the wide side going out first, causing so much pain. Also due to the surgery I cant cut the shit with my asshole as good as I used to. So my asshole is stuck trying to push a giant log but with weak contraction so in order to cut it or help it moving, I have to take my hand and reach down and push my buttock' in, in order to help cut the footlong. Basically imagine taking your hand and pushing in your buttock against the log.

I"m doing now some antibiotics so all my bacteria is dead so I'm not making any solid poop. in 3 weeks once the course its over ill try to post a picture of the foot long
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Blink 182 Reaction GIF
 
Lendarios

Lendarios

Trump's Staff
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Bandwagon said:
Lendarios Lendarios can you take a video of this process for us? I'm not understanding the cheek-assist chop maneuver.
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Imagine you are on this position and you are in pain with a huge hard shit stuck up in your asshole
1626809563779.png


So you shift your weight a bit to your left leg then like this image, you take your right hand, but only one hand

and you press it in, but you have to be very close to the middle, but without touching the shit that is sticking out. I will admit this is a risky maneuver as you don't want to touch the log.

So then you press in hard, and you actually feel the piece of shit though the skin and then you press into it, helping it break.


1626809711605.png



It is hard to explain it. more like those cultured animes where the main character reaches inside her asshole in order to give the guy that is fucking the vagina a free handjob. Sort of like that.. sort of...
 
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Lendarios

Lendarios

Trump's Staff
<Gold Donor>
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I seriously can not be the only peson in the world with this problem, nor the only one that thought of this solution.
 
Erronius

Erronius

Macho Ma'am
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Lend, you sound like the perfect candidate for a Poop Knife

Original Poop Knife

Strong, hygienic silicone knife in hilarious packaging can be given as a gag gift or used for its intended purpose. Other poop emoji gifts and accessories.
www.originalpoopknife.com www.originalpoopknife.com
 
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Bandwagon

Bandwagon

Kolohe
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I was just wrestling with an emergency poop for 45 minutes because I wanted to poop in the bathroom with the bidet and my wife was taking a shower in there.
 
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Bandwagon

Bandwagon

Kolohe
<Silver Donator>
22,660
59,372
Poached egg, scrambled egg,
Powder keg stanky leg,
Revenge of the poultry,
A weekly affair,
Gravity - hear me and hold me,
Lest I blast into the atmosphere.
 
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Bandwagon

Bandwagon

Kolohe
<Silver Donator>
22,660
59,372
Toot toot, down the chute,
Drum roll poop, kinda cute,
Encore! Encore! Curtain calls,
Breakfast burrito splashed my balls.
 
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