Shit

Underneath the bridge
Butt has sprung a leak
And the animals I've et
Have all become my stink
And I'm off-gassing flesh
And drippings from low fiber
It's not preferable to eat fish
Cause my wife overlooks the fuckers
Something in the way
Mmm-mmm
Something in the way, yeah
Mmm-mmm
Something in the way
Mmm-mmm
Something in the way, yeah
Mmm-mmm
Something in the way
Mmm-mmm
Something in the way, yeah
Mmm-mmm

Once in a blue moon,
A shit shiver rolls down my spine,
Nature's needle and spoon,
Makes me feel just fine,

I shit and I ponder,
Degenerate anal recreation,
Do I continue to squander,
Chances for anal occupation,

Or be this Lucifer's temptation,
An uncommon shitting Nirvana,
Encouraging participation,
In Foler 's "Vacation" to Botswana

This ain't normal,
This ain't kosher,
This ain't formal,
Jesus, give me closure

If people are going to keep scheduling back to back to back to back conference calls and dragging me into them, I'm going to cut a hole into my office chair and start taking shits right in the middle of the 9am calls. I'm going to look right at the fucking camera the whole time, too.

Three full-sized man shits on a single Monday morning. What demon have I angered?

I just pissed out my ass for a solid 5 seconds. I've been farting all morning.

Feel like I dodged a bullet

Nope. I assume its just because I'm clogging the pipes with my weekend diet.

Captain's Log
2022-03-23 (shit #4)

Note to Self: Don't eat Jason's homemade curry anymore.