Show Me Your Keychain

Mario Speedwagon

Mario Speedwagon

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I do have copies of all your keys now and your IP addresses. Just want to reiterate that. If everyone n this thread could leave their valuables in open, unsecured areas of their homes I'd really appreciate it.
 
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Zapatta

Zapatta

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Jesus Christ what adult fucking carries a bottle opener? That shit is for Frat boys. Start with a lighter, once you master that you can open a bottle with anything handy, back of a spoon, side of a pocket knife, claw on a hammer, edge of a counter or the tab on your seat belt.

Fucking sad you guys have gone this far in life without mastering any useful Man skills.

P.S. the guy in this vid sucks at it. He has no zen, needs more practice.

 
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Zapatta

Zapatta

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Deathwing said:
So...I should put a clawhammer on my keychain?
Click to expand...

A real man always has a claw hammer within arms reach.

Or if you are a Fem-boy dirty Hippy you can buy Reef Flip-Flops.

 
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P

Picasso3

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Zapatta said:
Jesus Christ what adult fucking carries a bottle opener? That shit is for Frat boys. Start with a lighter, once you master that you can open a bottle with anything handy, back of a spoon, side of a pocket knife, claw on a hammer, edge of a counter or the tab on your seat belt.

Fucking sad you guys have gone this far in life without mastering any useful Man skills.

P.S. the guy in this vid sucks at it. He has no zen, needs more practice.

Click to expand...


You are a dumb piece of gay shit.
 
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Porkchop

Porkchop

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Deathwing said:
Seriously, though, guys, where the fuck do I put my keys if my phone and wallet are already taking up my only usable pant pockets? I love when it gets cold again just so I can where jackets and hoodies again for more pockets!

Damnit, is this what women feel like?
Click to expand...

It's called a purse.
 
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Adebisi

Adebisi

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Zapatta said:
Jesus Christ what adult fucking carries a bottle opener? That shit is for Frat boys. Start with a lighter, once you master that you can open a bottle with anything handy, back of a spoon, side of a pocket knife, claw on a hammer, edge of a counter or the tab on your seat belt.

Fucking sad you guys have gone this far in life without mastering any useful Man skills.
Click to expand...
wm2KQ7z.gif
 
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Mario Speedwagon

Mario Speedwagon

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How is carrying a tool specifically designed to open bottles more "frat boy shit" then wasting time developing the skills to open bottles using any object you can find laying around?
 
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Hatorade

Hatorade

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Mario Speedwagon said:
I do have copies of all your keys now and your IP addresses. Just want to reiterate that. If everyone n this thread could leave their valuables in open, unsecured areas of their homes I'd really appreciate it.
Click to expand...

I was actually worried about that so I cropped the important ones out, if you want to steal my Hyundai go for it.
 
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Zapatta

Zapatta

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Mario Speedwagon said:
How is carrying a tool specifically designed to open bottles more "frat boy shit" then wasting time developing the skills to open bottles using any object you can find laying around?
Click to expand...

Jason Bourne can kill a man with any of a hundred things in room, he doesn't have to go look for his gun.
 
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Bubbles

Bubbles

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WHAT KIND OF AN IDIOT HAS BOTH CAR AND HOUSE KEYS TOGETHER ON ONE KEYRING???
 
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Soygen

Soygen

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Bubbles said:
you lose one, you lose both.
Click to expand...
I'm 40 and I've lost my house/car keys exactly 0 times in my entire life(and I abused drugs and drank myself into blackouts several times).
 
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Mures

Mures

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Brings up a good point, how fucking retarded do you actually have to be to lose your keys? I have never, in the time I was given a house key at age 9 or 10 because I was a big boy and was taught it is a big responsibility, EVER lost my keys. I work at an automotive dealership and it just blows my mind the number of people who lose their keys. Without fail after every new year/mardi gras SEVERAL people are calling to replace their lost keys the following week. Do you just not give a fuck, walk into a place and throw your keys on the first counter you see, or do you allow yourself to get so wasted you have your keys taken away and you forget which bar they are at because you are so wasted?

Guess Carlin's stand up line applies here. Think how stupid the average person is; half the population is even more stupid than that.
 
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