I didn’t bother with this thread earlier because I skipped the theater release. Now, having suffered through the VOD release, I can confirm it’s utterly stupid.
In no particular order:
1. This Earth has faster-than-light travel but, somehow, still uses clunky tube TVs. Retarded.
2. They FTL to confront Galactus, fail miserably, then FTL back to Earth. Reed announces to the world that Galactus wanted his son to save the planet, and he told him to shove it. Why the hell would you broadcast that? Retarded for the "smartest man on Earth".
3. Galactus is creeping toward Earth to devour it, apparently at a snail’s pace through the solar system (forget that they FTL’d to some far-off spot for the first encounter). This gives them all the time in the world to build planet-teleportation-thingies. Retarded.
4. Why is Johnny lusting after this featureless silver chick? And somehow, this horndog is also a genius who cracks some ancient mystery? And his jokes were lame. Retarded.
I'd rank this no better than Superman. Why this got such rave reviews is beyond me.