Thunderbolts* (2025)

Thunderbolts is the best damn MCU movie ever made and if you don't agree, you probably clap when the plane lands and think mayonnaise is spicy. It's the first Marvel flick in years that doesn’t feel like it was written by a team of TikTok interns trying to appeal to suburban wine moms and Reddit mods with panic disorders.

This movie actually has grit. Real stakes. Characters that aren't walking Pinterest boards of trauma and quirk. No multiverse bullsh\*t, no CGI vomit-fests, no lectures about being your best self. Just a bunch of lunatics barely holding it together and somehow still being more interesting than 90% of the Disneyfied superheroes clogging up the franchise like cholesterol in Kevin Feige’s arteries.

If you didn't like it, it's because your brain flatlined sometime around Phase 4 and you only respond to shiny colors and cameos now. Go back to rewatching *Love and Thunder* and pretending Taika didn’t turn Thor into a brain-damaged birthday clown. Thunderbolts slapped, and you’d know it if you weren’t still spoon-feeding yourself nostalgia and soy.

Zweischneid said:

The concept of a "superhero ladder" has always been flawed. Superhero-fights always end exactly as the story demands it and every superhero ever written can both lose and win to every other superhero ever written at all times. There is no ranking.

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This is absolutely correct; it is the reason they will have Magento pull out Wolverine's metal skeleton when the plot demands it, but not the very first time they meet as adversaries.

Thunderbolts sucks harder than a black hole with daddy issues. It’s the MCU’s laziest, dumbest, most forgettable trash heap yet. Every character feels like a rejected side quest NPC, the plot was written during a bathroom break, and the humor? It's like TikTok wrote the script.

If you actually liked this movie, congrats—you’re the reason Hollywood thinks we're all drooling idiots who’ll clap at anything with a Marvel logo.