Tiny Malicious Dinosaurs (Bird) Thread

... · Apr 11, 2019

Mods want us acting right in the politick thread so I'm replying here.

Chukzombi said:
i had a macaw for 15 years, he was a giant asshole, but scary smart. his favorite trick was opening his own cage, sneaking out and flying around the kitchen fucking shit up. then when he would hear us coming , he would land in his cage and lock his own door. one time i heard him flapping his wings, i yelled at him "you better not be out of your cage" very faintly "no" like a little kid who just got with his hands in the cookie jar. one time i tried to catch him. so i sat just outside the kitchen and stayed quiet. after ten minutes i heard the cage door pop open and i rush into the room and he just looks at me with that goofy parrot face like, "well shit, you got me" then he fucks off back into his cage and closes the door. and stays quiet the rest of the day. one day we just found him dead. i think it was the peanuts he was eating. the store we used to get them from closed and we started at a new pet store and i think those were some shit tier quality peanuts. something didnt agree with him and that was it.

Yea our red Lori died like 7 years ago. She was a master of sneaking through the food bowl door (it had a much simpler latch) and she was such a good liar that she didn't cause too much mischief. she would usually fly to a nearby dresser and climb in the sock drawer and play there then leave. we only really knew about it because of the feathers we kept finding. She Died one day. wife was girlfriend and staying with her folks at the time (still in college)...the bird basically made a screech and a thud and woke up her family. they found her in the bottom of the cage, she fell out of her little hammock she slept in. we aren't sure what got her, it feels unlikely that she got a toe snagged and fell, her agility was incredible. though it was dark so who knows. Red lori are odd. they mostly need nectar to live and heavy metals REALLY hit them hard, they need a low iron diet to survive long term. she very well may have gotten some in her from the food she begged from us or improperly made pet food.

more pictures:

ZyyzYzzy · Apr 11, 2019

Now I want a bird

... · Apr 11, 2019

He sings too. but he can't remember the order of the words. his favorate show is sponge bob. and if you go "ohhhhhhhh" he'll start to sing the chorus, but it sounds like "SPONGEBOB PANTSSQUARE SPONGEPANCESQUAREBOB SPONGEBOBSPONGEBOB!" but he does it in the tone of the end of the song where it repeats the chorus. It's really dorky that i know spongebob shit, but it's the show my wife puts on to entertain him so i have heard a lot of it.

He also knows the andy griffith song but he only really likes the chorus again, the part in the middle when they're introducing the secondary cast.

I've tried to teach him to sing sixteen tons but he isn't taking to it. he some times goes "theeeeeeey" but the rest he wants no part of.

Chukzombi · Apr 11, 2019

... said:
Mods want us acting right in the politick thread so I'm replying here.

Yea our red Lori died like 7 years ago. She was a master of sneaking through the food bowl door (it had a much simpler latch) and she was such a good liar that she didn't cause too much mischief. she would usually fly to a nearby dresser and climb in the sock drawer and play there then leave. we only really knew about it because of the feathers we kept finding. She Died one day. wife was girlfriend and staying with her folks at the time (still in college)...the bird basically made a screech and a thud and woke up her family. they found her in the bottom of the cage, she fell out of her little hammock she slept in. we aren't sure what got her, it feels unlikely that she got a toe snagged and fell, her agility was incredible. though it was dark so who knows. Red lori are odd. they mostly need nectar to live and heavy metals REALLY hit them hard, they need a low iron diet to survive long term. she very well may have gotten some in her from the food she begged from us or improperly made pet food.

more pictures:

View attachment 203094

View attachment 203095 View attachment 203096 View attachment 203097

mine died in the early 2000s so i dont have any digital pics
he looked like this.

Chestnut-fronted-macaw-GettyImages-602191639-596c3e635f9b582c35772192.jpg

his name was Napolean, because he would move his wings and it made him look like a little soldier and he was a prick so the name fit him really well. if you walked by his cage and didnt acknowledge him he would lunge at you and screech. but if you walked up to him and said hi, he would just stare at you like it was expected. after he died i started getting parakeets because i heard they can talk too, but they never did and only sang when the water in the kitchen was running. they didnt live long, if they got a chill they would drop dead almost instantly. no birds now, just a turtle who is steadily getting too big for his bowl.

Hoss · Apr 11, 2019

... said:
I use these window clamps from Lowe's to keep him from being able to move his bowls.

I had to re-read this sentence a few times. I kept seeing that you clamp his bowels. Maybe because I was wondering if he shits all over the place.

If I ever come to your house, I'm teaching your bird the WOO game.

Foler · Apr 11, 2019

Man. Birds are fun. Every year the boys and I get together to hunt. First thing we do is hit up the local pet store and clean house on birds. We bust out the Coors light and use the critters for warm up, kicks and giggles. One dude throws it in the air another aims to shoot. Parakeets can be real hard to hit. I'd feel terrible about it but half the time these drunken fools miss so half these birds are getting freedom they wouldn't have gotten otherwise.

... · Apr 11, 2019

'Murica

Zapatta · Apr 11, 2019

I always wanted to get into Falconry but its a major commitment and long fucking process, worse than Bonsai. There is a reason it was mostly practiced by royalty. We have hawks here but they are ultra rare and finding a nest to get an egg to raise is impossible. We have a fuckton of Owls, I just never heard of Owlry dunno if thats a thing.

... · Apr 11, 2019

Folks post owl pets on the aww subreddit some times. not sure if they're worth training or if these are just crazy people.

khorum · Apr 11, 2019

So i wonder how soon before this owner comes home with amazon boxes full of gourmet bird food waiting on her doorstep.

Zapatta · Apr 11, 2019

... said:
Folks post owl pets on the aww subreddit some times. not sure if they're worth training or if these are just crazy people.

The ones here are 100% nocturnal, they are fucking sky ninjas, I have had them pass over me within a couple feet and they scare the ever loving fuck out of you because their wings make zero sound. They would circle me and my dog when it was a bitty pup, they were doing the math to see if they could lift and then swallow her whole. Way more spooky than other raptors imo.

edit - solid 7+ foot wing spans.

... · Apr 11, 2019

herw's an imagur of him flying. pardon the pre-renovation basement of hideousness

Lambourne · Apr 11, 2019

Never had or wanted a bird pet, but I did get to hold an owl once. Very lightweight for such a large bird. Guy said it was hard to train, it would do things for food but if it wasn't hungry it would just sit on a beam somewhere and ignore you.

BrutulTM · Apr 11, 2019

I find the tropical talking birds extremely annoying, but I always thought those aviaries with the little birds were very cool. Sort of like an aquarium but with birds. Pretty big commitment to put something like that in your house though, and I imagine it takes a fair amount to keep it from making your house smell like a chicken coop.

Lightning Lord Rule · Apr 11, 2019

I remember reading this as a kid about owls:

Other than that I've only seen a few of them around where I live roosting at night and waiting for something small enough for them to disappear into their stomachs. Spooky.

Obsidian · Apr 11, 2019

I used to have a sun conure. Birds are decent pets, but they demand A LOT of attention. Mine was pretty affectionate, he liked being held and wanted to sit on someone's shoulder whenever possible. His absolute favorite thing was if you were wearing a fleece zip up or whatever he wanted to basically be zipped up inside (so pretty much resting on your chest with the jacket over him). He was also trained, didn't poop unless he was on his play pen or inside his cage. If he had to go and wasn't in one of those locations, he made it very clear what was going to happen and gave you enough time to get him where he needed to be. When I got busy at work, the bird became a disaster. If I wasn't sitting with him or spending time with him 4+ hours a day, he would sit in his cage and just throw shit everywhere. He was LOUD too, he would basically screech at ear bleeding volume levels if he wasn't getting the attention he wanted. I ended up giving him to my parents and my mom is retired so she basically spoils him rotten all day. That bird absolutely hates me now, when I visit home for the holidays or whatever he goes nuts whenever I enter the room he's in. He screeches, he aggressively rubs his beak against whatever is near him (cage, wood, whatever); he pretty much lets it be known if I come near him he's going to bite the fuck out of me. If my mom gives me a hug, he goes crazy; he does not want her anywhere near me.

Hateyou · Apr 11, 2019

Zapatta said:
I always wanted to get into Falconry but its a major commitment and long fucking process, worse than Bonsai. There is a reason it was mostly practiced by royalty. We have hawks here but they are ultra rare and finding a nest to get an egg to raise is impossible. We have a fuckton of Owls, I just never heard of Owlry dunno if thats a thing.

Owlry May be a thing. We saw some dude walking around town with one, it was super chill, you could pet it and everything, it didn’t care.

khorum · Apr 11, 2019

Zapatta said:
The ones here are 100% nocturnal, they are fucking sky ninjas, I have had them pass over me within a couple feet and they scare the ever loving fuck out of you because their wings make zero sound. They would circle me and my dog when it was a bitty pup, they were doing the math to see if they could lift and then swallow her whole. Way more spooky than other raptors imo.

edit - solid 7+ foot wing spans.

Owls are undeniably smart and cute....but pound for pound they're the most lethal raptors in the wild. The Great Horned Owl has more fellow raptors in its diet than any other bird of prey. It regularly hunts Peregrines and Ospreys, even ones that are bigger.

Hateyou · Apr 11, 2019

Cool still have the pic of that one on my phone.

SeanDoe1z1 · Apr 11, 2019

After reading this thread I am convinced the house I just bought (seller had some large caged bird-cover on) call me some name during a walk through.

I thought I was just tripping...but no that little shit definitely got a fast one in.

Tiny Malicious Dinosaurs (Bird) Thread

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