Tiny Malicious Dinosaurs (Bird) Thread


FoH nuclear response team
121d 4h 15m
I have 3 parrots and I almost regret it daily, so much cleaning is required and they chew and shit on everything you love/own.

Bird destruction list as of 4-11-19

2x G600 mice
1x Astro A40s
1x brand new PC chair
1x Xbox 360 controller
2x TV remotes
1x DS4 controller

They are smart fuckers though and finally starting to cuss. One of them dropped a treat the other day looked down at the ground, then at me and said "OH SHIT!".
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FoH nuclear response team
121d 4h 15m
Pictures of said shitheads, and yes Kaede does Karate all day nukka!


Loser Foler

<Rickshaw Potatoes>
Man. Birds are fun. Every year the boys and I get together to hunt. First thing we do is hit up the local pet store and clean house on birds. We bust out the Coors light and use the critters for warm up, kicks and giggles. One dude throws it in the air another aims to shoot. Parakeets can be real hard to hit. I'd feel terrible about it but half the time these drunken fools miss so half these birds are getting freedom they wouldn't have gotten otherwise.
It's a true story you doubting shitheads. The best is when you and the buds buy a chicken and whoever ends up the most drunk has to try to catch it with a trashbag. Fucking hilarious. Watched a buddy chase a chicken for 2 hours once before he threw up and passed out.
  • 1Worf
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Macho Ma'am
<Gold Donor>
344d 16h 26m
Hawaiian Owls (Pu'eo). They give no fucks. I had one land in front of my truck at night at a stop sign and walk back and forth for 2-3 mins like it wanted me to get out of the car so it could kick my ass. Never seen one daytime like this pic.

Edit - he was a solid 20+ inches tall.

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Friends with a guy who runs a rescue and does falconry at the Renn Faire as a side gig.

He has a giant owl and says that they are almost impossible to train, they ain't that smart and are super stubborn.

He's had it for years and the best he can do is make it fly from point A to Point B
  • 1Salty
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Il_Duce Lightning Lord Rule

Lightning Fast
<Charitable Administrator>
242d 18h 34m
mine died in the early 2000s so i dont have any digital pics
he looked like this.

his name was Napolean, because he would move his wings and it made him look like a little soldier and he was a prick so the name fit him really well. if you walked by his cage and didnt acknowledge him he would lunge at you and screech. but if you walked up to him and said hi, he would just stare at you like it was expected. after he died i started getting parakeets because i heard they can talk too, but they never did and only sang when the water in the kitchen was running. they didnt live long, if they got a chill they would drop dead almost instantly. no birds now, just a turtle who is steadily getting too big for his bowl.

I'm trying to picture you riding around in your ancient chrysler convertible with a flat cap, wifebeater, gold chains, and a parrot on your shoulder.
Before 2005 or so you were basically a guido pirate


Goonsquad Officer
142d 2h 23m
After reading this thread I am convinced the house I just bought (seller had some large caged bird-cover on) call me some name during a walk through.

I thought I was just tripping...but no that little shit definitely got a fast one in.
yea, my bird gets brave when he's covered. he tries new statements and songs. he some times makes spooky sounds (like ooOOOoooOOO) and if you react he giggles. it's pretty amusing. i'm sure it was some sort of game my wife played with him or something.
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Macho Ma'am
<Gold Donor>
344d 16h 26m


Murder Apologist
174d 10h 29m
That's a great horned owl. That's the raptor that eats OTHER raptors as part of a healthy breakfast.

Of course it'll be stubborn and not give a shit what he says, it's supposed to fly around randomly dismembering its prey before eating it:

wikipedia said:
Almost all prey are killed by crushing with the owl's feet or by incidentally stabbing of the talons, though some may be bitten about the face as well. Prey is swallowed whole when possible.

Many large prey items are dismembered. Great horned owls may behead large prey before taking it to its nest or eating perch. The legs may also be removed, as may (in some bird prey) the wings. The great horned owl will also crush the bones of its prey to make it more compact for carrying.[75] On occasion, the owls may return to the kill site to continue eating if the prey is too heavy to fly with after dismemberment.

The thing is a flying charnel house, raining bits and pieces of fluffy rabbits along its flightpath.