Tiny Malicious Dinosaurs (Bird) Thread

a_skeleton_02

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That's a great horned owl. That's the raptor that eats OTHER raptors as part of a healthy breakfast.

Of course it'll be stubborn and not give a shit what he says, it's supposed to fly around randomly dismembering its prey before eating it:



The thing is a flying charnel house.

It broke his sister's hand once, by accident.

He does it every show first he talks about the owl then how it broke his sister's hand then he takes an audience volunteer and sits them on a chair.

His assistant goes behind the chair and holds up some food and the owl will fly directly at the person and land behind their head. Terrifying the old lady who just wanted to be a apart of the show.

I remember one time I was there he had to stop a show because some idiot was walking a little dog in the field by them when he had the owl out, he said mam get out of here with that and she thought it was a joke and he was like no joke this owl is about to kill your dog.
 

Chukzombi

Silver Earl of the Realm
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What does the IROC in IROC-Z stand for, Chuk.
IROC stands for International Race of Champions which is an automobile racing series similar to what NASCAR is. The IROC racing series started in 1974 racing Porsches prepared by Robert Penske. After one season of racing Porsches, Penske realized the cost to maintain the Porsches for racing was to expensive so in 1975, the series switched to the Chevrolet Camaro. IROC used the Chevrolet Camaro from 1975 to 1991. Because Chevrolet would race the Camaro under this sanctioning body, in 1985 Chevrolet entered into a licensing agreement to with the racing series and as a result, obtained the right to use the IROC name on its production Camaros.
 

Zapatta

Potato del Grande
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I am now picturing a_skeleton_02 in his off-time wearing a felt hat, tights and a cod piece wandering Renn Faires starting at all the chunky clevage being shoved up thru cinched up peasant girl frocks. Also Mist getting brushed in a stable by a Ferriers son.
 

Il_Duce Lightning Lord Rule

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Knowing birds like you do now and seeing how intelligent they are, how do you feel about going back in time to when the planet was ruled by their giant ancestors?
I'm picturing a 7 foot tall 300lb Utahraptor with some of the "personality quirks" you've described here...

nope.gif
 

Foler

ForumQuest Champion
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Just picked myself up a Portland Large beaked Parrot. Some dude sold it to me for some shitty weed. Wouldn't shut the fuck up about some eq in a browser type shit. Took his offer then he went back in the alley way and shot up I think. Looked like a druggy.

download (2).jpg
 

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Ahn'Qiraj Raider
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Knowing birds like you do now and seeing how intelligent they are, how do you feel about going back in time to when the planet was ruled by their giant ancestors?
I'm picturing a 7 foot tall 300lb Utahraptor with some of the "personality quirks" you've described here...
oh man, no joke, i think normal every-day birds would tear us limb from limb if they could. we're lucky they arn't gigantic anymore. we're only saved by the fact that birds are smart enough to understand the long game and that suicide isn't worth it. plenty of sky and patience.

like no joke. being able to read a bird, you can see a profound shift in their posture and bodyshape when the fury comes and it comes fast. we joke at the notion that raptors or even rexes may be feathered, and that it would look retarded but birds use that shape change in their form to intimidate or prepare.

when he's relaxed his body fluffs up and rounds out, like a baby penguin. He generally lifts one foot and hides it in his tummy floof (to keep it warm and to give it a break). when he's nervous he kind of narrows up and looks around. angling his body at what concerns him and giving his wings a soft flap to signal i need to go look. his belly shakes when he's laughing in bird. It's all pretty adorable.

But when he's mad his body tenses up. He takes a wide stance and his wings separate from his body just so. His feathers fluff up, but they do not make him look round and adorable, they make him look menacing like a hawk. his head turns a little and one eye pins. the iris gets tiny, then big and back again. he's studying you. waiting. and if you get close enough, he will bite the shit out of you. he kind of likes me so i think after the first bite he calms down and just makes it hurt. he doesn't want to kill me, just teach me a lesson about making him angry.
 

Il_Duce Lightning Lord Rule

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oh man, no joke, i think normal every-day birds would tear us limb from limb if they could. we're lucky they arn't gigantic anymore. we're only saved by the fact that birds are smart enough to understand the long game and that suicide isn't worth it. plenty of sky and patience.

like no joke. being able to read a bird, you can see a profound shift in their posture and bodyshape when the fury comes and it comes fast. we joke at the notion that raptors or even rexes may be feathered, and that it would look retarded but birds use that shape change in their form to intimidate or prepare.

when he's relaxed his body fluffs up and rounds out, like a baby penguin. He generally lifts one foot and hides it in his tummy floof (to keep it warm and to give it a break). when he's nervous he kind of narrows up and looks around. angling his body at what concerns him and giving his wings a soft flap to signal i need to go look. his belly shakes when he's laughing in bird. It's all pretty adorable.

But when he's mad his body tenses up. He takes a wide stance and his wings separate from his body just so. His feathers fluff up, but they do not make him look round and adorable, they make him look menacing like a hawk. his head turns a little and one eye pins. the iris gets tiny, then big and back again. he's studying you. waiting. and if you get close enough, he will bite the shit out of you. he kind of likes me so i think after the first bite he calms down and just makes it hurt. he doesn't want to kill me, just teach me a lesson about making him angry.

What sorts of things does he 'laugh' at? Is it like slapstick Benny Hill stuff, like he gets joy from the misfortune of others?

What sorts of things piss him off?

If he's biting the shit out of you with a beak like that, how do you still have all of your fingers and every part of your ears? Looks terrifying.
 
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He mostly belly shakes when he's watching something he's really into, like people doing interesting things. some times TV but mostly if you are doing something interesting you'll look over and he'll be roundfluffy with his belly shivering. i guess his version of a cheer he'll make a loud noise that's like a cross be tween a whistle and a "woo". like "WEEEEEEEOOOOOOOOOH" and he'll give his wings a little pump and a a full body shiver. he'll do that some times if you bring him something he really enjoys, like popcorn or receipts he can shred and throw.

He also makes literally a human laughing as a sound in response to things he thinks humans laugh at (but he's not normally correct). Like when he watches jurrasic park (his favorate movie) when the guy gets bit off of the toilet he human laughs. he also makes explosion sounds when he sees gunfights in movies and then he'll do a full body fluff and a little belly laughing. Some times he laughs when human's scream in movies. I think he's just trying to participate and he thinks that's the social thing to do. when we're playing D&D in the basement and start laughing and carrying on, some times he laughs and makes human commotion sounds (like people do in the background of movies) to feel included i guess.

also if he likes a person (like one of my friends) who isn't over often comes to my house. if they admire him he'll perk up and actively floof up and shake his tummy. i'm not sure if he's amused or just expressing happiness to be friendly.

He gets pissed when he's told no, or if you do not pay attention to him after he acts out. My wife is really vulnerable to this. He knows that she hates when he throws seeds on the floor. so if she sits nearby and is playing on her tablet or watching TV and not admiring him, he'll say her name a few times, maybe tweet and point. when that doesn't work he throws seeds at her. and onto the floor, and lures the dog over (she hates to hear dogs eat from the floor). if she bitches one time about it to him. he does his happy cheer and starts doing it a lot. some times he screams "NO NO NO" while doing it. if the wife gets up to take his food bowl away he will twist his body into his angry stance and eyeballs her. she'll usually wait till he calms down before she continues.

The LAST time he bit me, i was doing something else and he wanted attention so he flew at me, and i had to catch him. i brought him to his stand and he didn't want to get off of my hand. so then i tried to push him UNDER the stand and then pull back so he had to get off of my arm and he didn't like that. he pinched me, and i yelled in adult man voice "NO" and his eyes turned into points and he started to chew on my arm. so i bucked my arm, effectively throwing him down the hall. he did his angry dance on the floor a few then lifted a foot expecting to get picked up, and he was done being angry now that he needed me.

I don't have any major injuries because i think like all birds, he's self-safety oriented. He can't REACH anything unless i put it near him. he really can't bite me unless i have him on my arm. when he's on my arm and he gets angry or scared he grips me tight. his talons dig in (hence the marks on my hand from the first pic). once he's gripped , and we're in motion he won't want to risk changing his grip on me to bite anything important. he'll lean in and give the muscle of my arm a good pinch, usually draws a tiny bit of blood. it feels like...it's harder than a person can pinch. it feels like getting your skin pinched by a pair of needle nose pliars that have a point. Frequently he'll be so angry that he lets go and re-bites over and over. by then i jerk my hand up and it makes him have to focus on hanging onto me so he stops trying to bite me.

I do not let him on my shoulder. he doesn't like to do it, and i don't want him near my eyes or ear. also he hates having fabric between my arm and so i doubt he wants to be on a shirted shoulder. I understand because if you asked me to stand on a moving log, i wouldn't want fabric loose over it.

One time i was holding him and a light came on or something while moving him into the cage, and he freaked out and bit me because he didn't have a good foothold on me and he pulled himself onto me more solidly. It wasn't aggression it was fear.

also they can't see worth a shit in the dark and if you spend a lot of time in a dark room holding him. some times he'll bite you lightly (like a human pinch) to let you know he still needs you to help him either get to his cage or turn a light on.

I've seen him crack thick nuts before so i don't know why i don't have deeper scars. Maybe skin just resists the pressure and his beak isn't razor sharp like his feet. maybe he goes easy on us since he doesn't need to kill us, just make us regret not obeying him. Birds pinch each other when they play so maybe we get the easy pinches and he would do big bites if he truely meant it.
 

Denaut

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Fiance is allergic to dogs and cats so we ended up with a pair of budgies. Overall I think they make great pets. They are pretty easy to take care of while still having plenty of personality.

The larger parrots are much smarter and more interesting, but are also much harder to take care of. Near as I can tell they are essentially toddlers that are strong enough to bite your finger off. The little ones are playful and stupid in that cute puppy way. I am happy with the decision and because we have 2 they keep each other company when we aren't around.
 
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iannis

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Yeah, I'm not down with bigbird. We'd have to genocide them or they d eat us.

I'd be terrified of a bird as big as I am. In the body. A bird with a six foot wingspan is already a monster.

I'll let the parrot on my shoulder. He goes through phases of preferring to ride that way, and preferring my forearm. All he ll ever do is playful nips at my earlobe, and he does it to indicate a direction he wants to go.

Ears: steering wheel for birds.

He's only shi t on my back twice. Spotted a hawk, both times. I wasn't even mad.
 
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Il_Duce Lightning Lord Rule

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He mostly belly shakes when he's watching something he's really into, like people doing interesting things. some times TV but mostly if you are doing something interesting you'll look over and he'll be roundfluffy with his belly shivering. i guess his version of a cheer he'll make a loud noise that's like a cross be tween a whistle and a "woo". like "WEEEEEEEOOOOOOOOOH" and he'll give his wings a little pump and a a full body shiver. he'll do that some times if you bring him something he really enjoys, like popcorn or receipts he can shred and throw.

He also makes literally a human laughing as a sound in response to things he thinks humans laugh at (but he's not normally correct). Like when he watches jurrasic park (his favorate movie) when the guy gets bit off of the toilet he human laughs. he also makes explosion sounds when he sees gunfights in movies and then he'll do a full body fluff and a little belly laughing. Some times he laughs when human's scream in movies. I think he's just trying to participate and he thinks that's the social thing to do. when we're playing D&D in the basement and start laughing and carrying on, some times he laughs and makes human commotion sounds (like people do in the background of movies) to feel included i guess.

also if he likes a person (like one of my friends) who isn't over often comes to my house. if they admire him he'll perk up and actively floof up and shake his tummy. i'm not sure if he's amused or just expressing happiness to be friendly.

He gets pissed when he's told no, or if you do not pay attention to him after he acts out. My wife is really vulnerable to this. He knows that she hates when he throws seeds on the floor. so if she sits nearby and is playing on her tablet or watching TV and not admiring him, he'll say her name a few times, maybe tweet and point. when that doesn't work he throws seeds at her. and onto the floor, and lures the dog over (she hates to hear dogs eat from the floor). if she bitches one time about it to him. he does his happy cheer and starts doing it a lot. some times he screams "NO NO NO" while doing it. if the wife gets up to take his food bowl away he will twist his body into his angry stance and eyeballs her. she'll usually wait till he calms down before she continues.

The LAST time he bit me, i was doing something else and he wanted attention so he flew at me, and i had to catch him. i brought him to his stand and he didn't want to get off of my hand. so then i tried to push him UNDER the stand and then pull back so he had to get off of my arm and he didn't like that. he pinched me, and i yelled in adult man voice "NO" and his eyes turned into points and he started to chew on my arm. so i bucked my arm, effectively throwing him down the hall. he did his angry dance on the floor a few then lifted a foot expecting to get picked up, and he was done being angry now that he needed me.

I don't have any major injuries because i think like all birds, he's self-safety oriented. He can't REACH anything unless i put it near him. he really can't bite me unless i have him on my arm. when he's on my arm and he gets angry or scared he grips me tight. his talons dig in (hence the marks on my hand from the first pic). once he's gripped , and we're in motion he won't want to risk changing his grip on me to bite anything important. he'll lean in and give the muscle of my arm a good pinch, usually draws a tiny bit of blood. it feels like...it's harder than a person can pinch. it feels like getting your skin pinched by a pair of needle nose pliars that have a point. Frequently he'll be so angry that he lets go and re-bites over and over. by then i jerk my hand up and it makes him have to focus on hanging onto me so he stops trying to bite me.

I do not let him on my shoulder. he doesn't like to do it, and i don't want him near my eyes or ear. also he hates having fabric between my arm and so i doubt he wants to be on a shirted shoulder. I understand because if you asked me to stand on a moving log, i wouldn't want fabric loose over it.

One time i was holding him and a light came on or something while moving him into the cage, and he freaked out and bit me because he didn't have a good foothold on me and he pulled himself onto me more solidly. It wasn't aggression it was fear.

also they can't see worth a shit in the dark and if you spend a lot of time in a dark room holding him. some times he'll bite you lightly (like a human pinch) to let you know he still needs you to help him either get to his cage or turn a light on.

I've seen him crack thick nuts before so i don't know why i don't have deeper scars. Maybe skin just resists the pressure and his beak isn't razor sharp like his feet. maybe he goes easy on us since he doesn't need to kill us, just make us regret not obeying him. Birds pinch each other when they play so maybe we get the easy pinches and he would do big bites if he truely meant it.

Jesus, he really is like a sadistic toddler that takes joy in the suffering of others AND ON TOP OF THAT, thinks it's hilarious when his CGI ancestors kill humans in movies!

Hitchcock was right all along!
 

khorum

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My sister's 17lb cairn terrier was no match for an owl that picked it up and dropped it from about 50ft a few years back. Poor fucker didn't have a chance. This was in DFW so don't think that just because there are a bunch of humans and other dogs around that owls won't snatch up anything they think they can eat.

Why didn't it eat it? Wiki says it decapitates and dismembers its prey mid-flight too.
 

Locnar

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I always wanted to get into Falconry but its a major commitment and long fucking process, worse than Bonsai. There is a reason it was mostly practiced by royalty. We have hawks here but they are ultra rare and finding a nest to get an egg to raise is impossible. We have a fuckton of Owls, I just never heard of Owlry dunno if thats a thing.

I would think harvesting wild hawk eggs would be very illegal. I read that owls, even when raised from chicks, eventually reach a stage where they just insta attack humans, even their human, on sight. Just can't be tamed, or the taming translates into them thinking they can and should kill you.

I use to breed different parrots, but was too labor intensive so got out of it. Still have a eclectus and a african grey though.