Tool might eventually release a new album someday

What about the little kid playing the claves? Kid sucks. He must be at least six years old and all he can play are the fucking claves? Probably needed him for the metronome because the drummer can't keep time.

Alex_sl said:

What about the little kid playing the claves? Kid sucks. He must be at least six years old and all he can play are the fucking claves? Probably needed him for the metronome because the drummer can't keep time.

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I can sweep pick better than he can too.

Don't even get me started on my clave skills bro. I use only the finest zebrawood claves, theyresonatelike amothafuckin boss. I shit all over those toddlers, and can play them just like Danny Carey.

Slaythe_sl said:

I have better gear than all those faggot 12 year olds combined!

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Preach it brother! I can take them all in a fistfight too.

Alex_sl said:

I think APC is pretty sweet personally. It always amazes me how opinionated people are when they talk about Tool or comparing Tool to Maynard's other projects.

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As a TOOL fan, I fucking abhor TOOL fans. TheyTHINKthey know the music better than the band themselves. As if they personally know Maynard and have since they were kids. The worse TOOL fans of all are the cockwallets that think playing their music on the guitar or drums makes them uber awesome and more knowledgable than anyone else.

Like this Melvin douche. The obvious "guitar god"...



Atleast 16 years...

I occasionally listen to John Mayer. I think that saves me from the demographic. I also wear clothing that consists of more colors than black.

I love you're misrepresenting the things I've said repeatedly (i.e. the kids did a decent job, for a bunch of kids, and that I'm specifically making fun of the idiots that think that a bunch of kids are playing in the same league as Tool) and then when I try to point out that I really do know wtf I'm talking about you just keep calling me names because your butt is hurt. Whether you like me or not, you guys are exactly the dildo Tool fans that you're accusing me of being. Nice work!

Seventh_sl said:

The fact that you're spouting all of this gibberish to me, of all people, on here just compounds the fail dude. I honestly can't tell if you're trolling at this point, of if you really are the very definition of music douche.

Tossing around music terms might impress your non-musician pals, but you have to realize that a lot of us on here can play quite well - and we aren't impressed. Entertained, definitely, but that's about it.

It's extra awesome that you're getting defensive and proclaiming that you can totally out-play a bunch of 12 year olds.

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So the fundamental symbols that have been used to write sheet music for hundreds of years and are taught to elementary school concert band students are gibberish? This shit is super basic, and it's not my fault that you've been playing as long as you have with an incomplete musical education. Learning them and using will make you a better musician. But I don't expect you to believe me, you're clearly much too proud to admit that you, of all people, don't need to use dynamics. Yet you think you have ground to stand on and call me a music douche? I'm a music douche because I (and coincidentally, also the guys in Tool) paid attention back in grade school when they were teaching us the simplest basics of how music works? Get the fuck over yourself.

Melvin_sl said:

So the fundamental symbols that have been used to write sheet music for hundreds of years and are taught to elementary school concert band students are gibberish? This shit is super basic, and it's not my fault that you've been playing as long as you have with an incomplete musical education. Learning them and using will make you a better musician. But I don't expect you to believe me, you're clearly much too proud to admit that you, of all people, don't need to use dynamics. Yet you think you have ground to stand on and call me a music douche? I'm a music douche because I (and coincidentally, also the guys in Tool) paid attention back in grade school when they were teaching us the simplest basics of how music works? Get the fuck over yourself.

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I'm going to do you a solid bro. I'll actually waste my time replying to you, in hopes that perhaps it will lift the veil of music douchery that you live under. Perhaps it will make you a better person, or help you not look like a complete fucking retard when you open your mouth in front of actual musicians.

Let's start with the basics, k? First, don't throw out terms like dynamics, phrasing and articulation unless you actually know what they are. In fact, don't throw them out at all unless someone is asking you to describe a preamp or a humbucker to another guitar player. When you try to name drop music theory tidbits in conversations with non-musicians, they don't care. When you try to do it to actual musicians in an attempt to make your point, they still don't care, they just laugh at you and make fun of you in forum threads like this one.

Now, let's move on to this, where you one again try to get all music snob on us.

douche_sl said:

Can you personally pick up an electric guitar and play the 46 & 2 intro piano staccato palm muted?

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Well I'll answer you. Yes, I can. Because what you're describing there is an extremely easy, ultra-basic technique that most kids who have been playing rock or metal can do after they practice for a few months. It's something that long time metal players (like me, and the rest of the FoH crew who populates the guitar thread) can do extremely well, because even an easy technique like that is something that you can put your own stamp on with (here it comes!) articulation and dynamics. See how that works? When you try to music name-drop a skill in order to give yourself more "Tool cred", you just sound like a fucking idiot. I may as well cockwave to the rest of the site how fucking awesome I am at using a pizza wheel, because your attempt at cockwaving is about on par difficulty-wise as slicing up a DiGiorino pie.

Moving on...

The cuntolanche of fail from you continued when you threw this out at me, keeping in mind that it does say "The guitar guy" under my avatar and that I have about a dozen or so shred videos posted in the guitar forum.

douche_sl said:

Seriously, if you want to learn things about subjects you know jack shit about, all you have to do is ask questions instead of running your mouth like you're not completely ignorant.

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I'm actually going to indulge you here.Here's my Youtube channel.It's mostly gear demos and not a lot of "performance", but I think the average person on here would agree that I can play. Discounting the fact that there are major brand logos on my personal website because I'm endorsed by those companies, and the fact that I am typing this pointless post to you with a $4000 guitar in my lap, there you go, hate away. I'm sure your Adam Jones Epiphone is nice, and I'm sure that nobody who isn't a guitar player knows that it's a cheap knockoff that you use to Air-Tool out to your favorite dynamic jams.

For the rest of the thread, you guys can skip all of that bullshit up there because it's all fucking pointless. Here, young Melvin, is the point you need to take home: If you are going to make music, the most important opinion of your shit is the one that a non-musician has. Musicians don't enjoy music more, or "more correctly" than non-musicians. It's exactly the fucking opposite. I know this, because I am a musician. We over analyze shit to the point where we can't even enjoy it anymore because we are always focused on the individual parts. Non-musicians hear a song and think "hey, that's a great song", because they don't give a shit about all the stupid bullshit that musicians do. It's their opinion that counts the most.

So when you link wikipedia pages to phrasing and dynamics, in some wtf-are-you-serious attempt to discredit a bunch of fucking 12 year old kids because they aren't properly expressing the true vibe of Adam Jones that only you understand, you aren't doing anything other than making yourself sound like a typical Tool Douche in every sense of the word.

And then you get made fun of for a few pages, which is what is happening right now, Maynard.

Seventh_sl said:

I'm going to do you a solid bro.

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Oh wow, may I lick your high horse's hooves too?

I trotted out the grade school "gibberish" music jargon as a factual example of an "extremely easy, ultra-basic technique" that those kids just kind of didn't do. Kudos for pointing out that you're better than a bunch of kids though. Oh wait, that wasn't even your point? Whoops, my bad.

Seventh_sl said:

I'm actually going to indulge you here. Here's my Youtube channel. It's mostly gear demos and not a lot of "performance", but I think the average person on here would agree that I can play. Discounting the fact that there are major brand logos on my personal website because I'm endorsed by those companies, and the fact that I am typing this pointless post to you with a $4000 guitar in my lap, there you go, hate away. I'm sure your Adam Jones Epiphone is nice, and I'm sure that nobody who isn't a guitar player knows that it's a cheap knockoff that you use to Air-Tool out to your favorite dynamic jams.

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That is one hell of a response to my completely accurate "completely ignorant" assessment of someone that wasn't even you. I had been responding to several people that really do need to ask some questions before they start spouting off their completely ignorant opinions. I realize that I had quoted a tiny little part of one off-hand thing that you had said, several paragraphs earlier in my post. Congrats on taking that personally and out-douching me by a few orders of magnitude though.

I teared up a little reading that, a fine post Seventh.

Melvin_sl said:

Ludicris amount of faggotry.

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So now that fucknuts has spouted off his cock holster.. how about we get back to the purpose of this thread before Bitchtits decided to derail it with his wiki copy/paste knowledge of music.

All, if not all genres of music will label Tool fans the epitome of music snobs. As a huge Tool fan, I've come to grips with that, and I honestly agree, Tool fans fucking hate Tool fans.

Does anyone think the rumors have merit? Doesn't Tool announce a little tidbit of information like this once a year? Granted, the rumors are becoming more frequent, but I'm just not hopeful with this band. So many of my favorite bands pull this shit - Oysterhead and Them Crooked Vultures being prime offenders as well.

I feel like a bad for somewhat agreeing with Melvin before. He's gone full Tea Party.

God forbid Melvin has a child and the kid ever picks up an instrument ...

I think the tool cover was pretty fucking amazing. Awesome to see kids that age exposed to and cover some great music instead of Miley Cyrus or some such other horseshit.

Listening to the cover reminded me why I love music and it put a massive smile on my face. If you over examine music beyond that need, than you're just fucking sad.

Speaking of Tool covers, here's a pretty sweet cello cover of Lateralus.


And here's a Mandolin cover of The Pot. These guys also cover other stuff like System of a Down.


Both bands are pretty talented imho, but nowhere near a level of being able to play the 46&2 Intro PALM MUTED.