What tickles your pickle

Wife went to lunch with our 3.5yo today. She said she had to leave because my daughter was yelling that she was going to fart on everyone's food for 5 minutes straight and she couldn't get her to stop.

I have a reputation at work now because I only take vacation days to work on my yard. Coworkers in Portland think it's the craziest thing ever because they use their PTO to "go hiking" or whatever.
"Bitch, I LIVE in the type of place that you jackasses go to for vacation!"

Deathwing said:

Cramming house and yard projects into weekdays or even weekends is stressful and leads to them just not getting done. Although unintuitive, taking vacation time to tackle large projects serves exactly the purpose of vacation: less anxiety.

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I didn't tell him this, but I'm going to have an empty house in 2 weeks and I'm all excited that I'm going to be able to paint the patio with anti-slip paint before winter starts. Didn't want to do it while the family is home because I KNOW someone is going to fuck it up.

I'm setting up the PC for a guy I just hired and hid a bunch of rickrolls all over the place. Gotta let him know what he signed up for right off the bat.

I'm in the dentists office and there's an old, 80ish, couple in here waiting too. I think the guy is blind or something because she's been reading the newspaper out loud to him the whole time.

She reads a paragraph, adds her 2 cents. He mumbles something like "mmmmm hmmmmmm". Then she reads another article. She was just reading on about all the Afghanis coming over and her comment at the end was "....too many darn sand rats for me."
Him - "mmmmm hmmmmm"

So, I started typing that before my name was called, just finished up after leaving and now I gotta go post in the rustled Jimmies thread too....

Kithani said:

Where you at?

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SE WA, NE OR. Why, you know the dude in the screenshot?

Kithani said:

Nah just been looking around the country and wondering where people from Portland vacation lol. In the past few hours I have also discovered Oregon's State taxes so I have scratched that off the list anyway!

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Rural Oregon is like Appalachia. Liberal Oregon is the tip of the Liberal Spear.

We have a 21 year old drafter named 'Merlin' that's a gigantic nerd, and a 20 year old rodman (field staff) that's a big, dumb shitbird.

Just went to get a cup of coffee when I got into work this morning and overheard Merlin telling big dopey about the differences between vampirism and zombieism. He's going into specific descriptions about each of these contagions while big dopey is just staring at him with a blank face. On my way back from the coffee pot, just before going downstairs, I hear big dopey say "I think I saw a vampire last week, or maybe he was just a homo". Merlin's sister is a lesbian and her wife sits at the desk right next to him (She's a badass and her and her wife come to my UFC parties). I laughed when big dopey said that and she just looked at me, rolled her eyes and said "He's such a fucking idiot" loud enough for everyone to hear. My boss (big dopey's grandpa), that's about 3x as old as all of these clowns, looked up from his paperwork and said "ALL of you are fucking idiots. Shut up and get to work".

Glorious. Feels like the 90s/early 2000s in here.

My young (25ish) friend just delivered his Son in the car yesterday