Whats rustling your jimmies?

Soygen_sl said:

I'm relatively unrustled in general, but shitty spelling is probably pretty high on the list. Not enough for me to correct people on the internet, though.

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Vvoid_sl said:

My jimmies used to be rustled most by people that wander across the road like they own it, regardless of traffic. This happens all the time on my way home because it parallels a light-rail line so people are constantly running to get to it in time, or too lazy to walk to the corner when they get off of it.

(LONG STORY INCOMING. TL;DR I have shitty neighbors, contemplating trying to be an adult or simple revenge.)

However, that pales in comparison to my current rustlings. Or, more precisely, the rustlings I have apparently caused, which in turn somewhat rustles my jimmies. I actually mentioned it a few months ago (might have been the old board even) in relation to Big Phoenix's downstairs neighbors Shaniqua and Rayray (close enough). I believe he said his have since moved out, but mine are still going strong. To paint a little picture, I know that at least the mother lives there permanently. I used to see a young boy playing outside all the time when I got home from work, and he'd even show me his inventions, like making a rubber-band gun to shoot his toy soilders down, etc. He seemed like a good kid, to be completely fair, despite the environment he was growing up in. However, I haven't seen him in a few months, so no idea what happened to him. I also hear an adult male voice on occasion, but not regularly enough to make me think he lives there. It seems like the mother is the only one there all the time, but she runs her washer and dryer ALL day and night, so either she goes through laundry faster than any normal person or she's doing it for others that I'm not aware of.

Furthermore, a few weekends ago it became apparent that someone she knows, or possibly her herself, had a house or storage space that they had to get out of that day. I mean, it seemed like 50 loads of this little pickup and a car showed up and unloaded into the public walkway between apartments, and they were unloading EVERYTHING you'd expect in a house, but not ever in an apartment. Refrigerators, china cabinets, kids backyard play houses, boxes and boxes of important papers, etc. I walked by in the evening and I could see inside their living room to where it was piled so high that there was a box spring balanced atop stuff about 5 feet off the ground. That's how full of furniture and crap it is. And some of it (refrigerator, china cabinet, and some sort of hutch I think) apparently didn't fit because it has been out in the covered walkway for the past couple of weeks. It isn't in my way so I haven't complained, but you'd think someone would.

Anyway, not only is there the occasional screaming match, often in the middle of the night, but I mentioned I was hearing a pounding in the night also, like someone without a key trying to wake up someone to let them in. I let it go for awhile, because typically I just roll over and go right back to sleep. It seemed to drop off for awhile, but just this past week it has become obvious that it isn't a random event. A week ago Saturday it happened literally 10 times, to the point where someone else in another apartment pounded on the wall screaming shut the fuck up. And when I say 10 times, I'm talking like upward of 10 poundings per time, like someone beating on a door 10 times, then pausing for a bit, then doing it 10 more times...that would be twice. With that many times I actually got out of bed to see what the fuck was going on, and I could feel it through my feet. They were clearly pounding on the ceiling with something, directly under my bed. I always sort of figured that was it, but when you wake up out of a dead sleep with no real point of reference, it is hard to know for sure. But I am completely sure now.

So I stomped on the floor back and screamed "what the fuck do you want?" They stopped when I did that...only to do it again like an hour later. We're talking like any time from midnight to 6 am, they might do it, any night, any number of times. I have tried to think of what I might be doing to warrant the "ceiling retaliation thump" which anyone that has lived in an apartment has had to do. I mean, if I'm stomping around my apartment, or playing my tv/music too loud or too late, or just doing something annoying, and I heard the ceiling thump on my floor, I'd think to myself, "Oops, I'm being an annoying neighbor, I'll cut down on the noise." But it always happens when I'm sound asleep and doing nothing. It's like beating a dog 3 days after he did something wrong...he has no idea what he did, so it isn't going to correct any behavior. I've tried to come up with reasons, but the only one I can remotely think of is the bass from my speakers vibrating through the floor when I watch TV, but I purposely have the bass down for that reason, and I almost never watch past 10pm, and if I do it is at significantly lower volumes. Other than that, I'm single, I pretty much plant myself in a recliner and don't move around much, or sit at the computer not making noise...so what could I possibly be doing to warrant this vendetta? And it happens on nights when I've done nothing but come home, cook dinner, read, take a shower, and go to bed. Never even turned on the TV. It seems as if I did something in the past, not necessarily any specific night, and they just randomly retaliate now on principle. I've tried to think of what that might be.

I came up blank, obviously, so I knocked on their door several different times. Not once have they answered. They could have been gone every time, but I believe that's not the case. My next plan is, maybe, since I pretty much stay up late on weekends I'll just stay dressed and ready to go, and the moment it happens this Friday or Saturday night I'll go beat on their door until they answer.

However, this is where I slightly worry that it will go badly. Call me racist or whatever, but picture a stereotypical fat black woman. Now give her hair like a troll doll. Now picture her on Jerry Springer. That's her, precisely. I've heard her arguing with people in person and on the phone, and it is the typical "Oh no you di'nt", finger-wagging, neck-wobbling (I'm not imagining that, early on before we apparently developed whatever problem between us, I saw her arguing with the person I assume is the baby daddy) that you are all perfectly picturing right now. So I very well could go down and politely ask, "What seems to be the problem?" and it might turn into some huge fucking confrontation. I'm not afraid of her, but I'd definitely prefer to avoid that kind of shit because I know that if she went all Jerry Springer on me I'd probably flip out and call her a American Inventor or something, and then I'd instantly lose. I'd have to figure a way to record it on my cell phone so I didn't say anything dumb, and so I could post it on YouTube if it were exceptionally dumb.

So I'm debating alternate methods of revenge instead, since I seriously do pretty much just smile in the middle of the night at how rustled her jimmies must be over something I did (is it wrong if I picture her face instead of the gorilla? they aren't much different, no racism...I'd give you a pic if I could and you'd agree), roll over, and go back to sleep. I'm almost thinking that if they are content ignoring me (they have to know it is me knocking on their door) and limiting it to that sort of retaliation, I can totally live with it and just think of inventive ways to fuck with them that could never be traced back to me. Given the track record of people in that complex they'll probably move out/get kicked out in a few months anyway. I realize that I *could* perhaps settle everything with one simple conversation, but I'm thinking that if they have never once tried to talk to me about it, and never once opened their door to me or said something when I walked by outside, they aren't interested in resolving it like respectful neighbors.

Not admitting to anything, but I've allegedly noticed that if you leave a gallon of milk out for a few weeks, it separates into a clear yellowish liquid and chunky white stuff. That clear liquid is about the worst smelling thing I have ever experienced, ever. It quite literally makes people want to vomit, it is so horrific. If you get it on you, you're fucked. I would imagine that if such a liquid were tossed into someone's open patio area, maybe even sticking to the screen door, that it would quickly dry but leave this absolutely horrendous smell behind. Any time someone were to open their patio door to get a nice breeze (warmer weather is coming) they would get a constant dose of that horrific smell. And while you can spray it off, the smell typically remains long after. Or so I've heard.

Sorry for the novel. I was actually enjoying detailing the situation because it is so ridiculous and it makes no sense. Not necessarily looking for advice, but I'll listen to any comments of course.

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Friday_sl said:

Grown adults who can't spell for shit.

International (transfer) students who couldn't pass english (a requirement) but still manage to get into limited seat programs.

God damnit.

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