When your wife says...

Captain Suave

Caesar si viveret, ad remum dareris.
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He brought up the option of husband and wife in separate bedrooms.

Before we started dating, I'd known my now wife for a couple years and was interested in her. I knew I had an opening when she said that her ideal living situation with her long-distance boyfriend of several years was to have side by side townhouses. Some fast talking later, she breaks up with him and we're still together after 15 years.

I can't honestly imagine having totally separate living space from someone to whom I still wanted to be married. If they bug you that much in close proximity, something's wrong with the relationship. (Separate activity space, "caves", like Void's example? Sure. Bedrooms? No.)

yet people want to change everything about their SOs when living together.

A big reason that many relationships don't work, IMO. You shouldn't expect people to change, or be with someone who expect you to change in fundamental ways.
 
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Sanrith Descartes

I love my shiny new medal, LLR
<Gold Donor>
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I rather like sleeping with my wife. I don't mean sex, which is great, but the sleeping part. Yes, we wake each other up some, but there is also something lovely about the intimacy of being totally vulnerable next to each other every night. I know not many couples do this, but we go to bed at the same time nearly every night, too. Finish the day together just as we started it together. We often turn our lights off at different times because we're reading or watching something, but mostly we fall asleep next to each other. To me that feels good and healthy.

However, I know that's not for everyone. I do know people that have separate rooms, and it works just fine for them. Everyone's different.
Best part of sleeping next to my wife is in winter. She runs a good 2 degrees warmer than I do and it makes it feel nice and warm under the blankets.
 

Alasliasolonik

Toilet of the Mod Elect
<Banned>
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Wife and I made it about a year sleeping in the same bed and I said fuck it. Fucking 700 degrees in that bed with the two of us. I cant just lay in bed, close my eyes and go to sleep. I have to be extremely tired and if i miss that point, I will be up for hours longer. Im always awake hours after she goes to bed and we are awake within 30 minutes of each other in the morning.

She can watch her shitty movies and tv and pass out and I will watch my awesome as shit tv/movies and were happy as clams. My room is the sex room, be it with her or by myself.

We have the same beds and setup (headboard and shit) in each room so there is never a problem of it feeling foreign of a weird bed imcase one of us passes out in the other bed.

It is SOO nice to move around and take up the whole bed and not kick someone. Seperate bathrooms are another huge plus. Chicks pee on average every 13 1/2 minutes and I sure as shit dont want to hear that all night long. She uses my shower though because she can wash her hair easier, even though we just redid her entire bathroom exactly how she wanted.

Its always funny when it comes up with other couples, ohh you guys dont sleep together? Perfect for the easy jokes of "have you see her without makeup?!?" etc
 

lurkingdirk

A Dirk who Lurks
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"Do you want to" = "We're going to" in any situation.

My wife used to do this. I flat answered "no" when it was something she wanted to do an no one else in the family wanted to do. And I stuck to it. After a couple years it turns out it becomes more of a discussion. That "Do you want to" has now turned in to "I would really like to do X with the family." And then we discuss it. When you have five kids and a husband who are not interested in "Do you want to" meaning we are all doing it regardless, you gain traction.

My wife also used to start sentences with "You couldn't possibly," and for some reason this grated on me so fucking badly. My answer is no. If you think I couldn't possibly, then no. If you'd like me to do something, don't phrase it like that. "You couldn't possibly take the kids to hockey tonight so I can stay home?" Passive aggressive. Ask me directly. "Would you please take the kids to hockey?" I don't know why there is such a difference for me in this phrasing, but there is.

There's a subtle variation of this happening right now. She just said "We should take care of the leaves this weekend." That means me and the kids should take care of leaves this weekend. I told her as soon as she's ready Saturday we'll start.

I typically do all the cooking. The kids help me. My wife hates cooking, but she does all the clean up. It's a good match. After she asked me about the leaves, I asked her what was for dinner tonight. She said, "that's fair."
 

Izo

Golden Baronet of the Realm
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My wife used to do this. I flat answered "no" when it was something she wanted to do an no one else in the family wanted to do. And I stuck to it. After a couple years it turns out it becomes more of a discussion. That "Do you want to" has now turned in to "I would really like to do X with the family." And then we discuss it. When you have five kids and a husband who are not interested in "Do you want to" meaning we are all doing it regardless, you gain traction.

My wife also used to start sentences with "You couldn't possibly," and for some reason this grated on me so fucking badly. My answer is no. If you think I couldn't possibly, then no. If you'd like me to do something, don't phrase it like that. "You couldn't possibly take the kids to hockey tonight so I can stay home?" Passive aggressive. Ask me directly. "Would you please take the kids to hockey?" I don't know why there is such a difference for me in this phrasing, but there is.

There's a subtle variation of this happening right now. She just said "We should take care of the leaves this weekend." That means me and the kids should take care of leaves this weekend. I told her as soon as she's ready Saturday we'll start.

I typically do all the cooking. The kids help me. My wife hates cooking, but she does all the clean up. It's a good match. After she asked me about the leaves, I asked her what was for dinner tonight. She said, "that's fair."
You couldn’t possibly hire a mexican to do the yard work?
 

Izo

Golden Baronet of the Realm
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No. Yard work is character building. And it's fun to do with my kids and wife.
cheech and chong store GIF by South Park

With great character comes great responsibility.
 

Izo

Golden Baronet of the Realm
13,575
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67d 4h 24m
I don't pay people to do easy labour I can do myself, or my kids can do. That's ridiculous and extravagent.
child labor hard work GIF by South Park

Sounds like you’re enforcing unpaid child labour instead of being a job creator. Why do you hate mexicans so much?
 

Void

We're America, bitch!
<Gold Donor>
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My wife used to do this. I flat answered "no" when it was something she wanted to do an no one else in the family wanted to do. And I stuck to it. After a couple years it turns out it becomes more of a discussion. That "Do you want to" has now turned in to "I would really like to do X with the family." And then we discuss it. When you have five kids and a husband who are not interested in "Do you want to" meaning we are all doing it regardless, you gain traction.

My wife also used to start sentences with "You couldn't possibly," and for some reason this grated on me so fucking badly. My answer is no. If you think I couldn't possibly, then no. If you'd like me to do something, don't phrase it like that. "You couldn't possibly take the kids to hockey tonight so I can stay home?" Passive aggressive. Ask me directly. "Would you please take the kids to hockey?" I don't know why there is such a difference for me in this phrasing, but there is.

There's a subtle variation of this happening right now. She just said "We should take care of the leaves this weekend." That means me and the kids should take care of leaves this weekend. I told her as soon as she's ready Saturday we'll start.

I typically do all the cooking. The kids help me. My wife hates cooking, but she does all the clean up. It's a good match. After she asked me about the leaves, I asked her what was for dinner tonight. She said, "that's fair."
This isn't quite the same situation because it isn't a wife, but this ex-girlfriend used to say shit like, "I'm sure Void would be happy to do X" whenever someone else said they had something that needed done. If it was my parents or sister, then sure I would have probably volunteered anyway. But sometimes I didn't want to, or if it was her parents or some random friend, bitch, let me volunteer or not by myself.

I even told her to knock it off and she'd keep doing it, so eventually I just started saying, "Oooh, I'm busy that day, but I'm glad you think it is so important. Hey (random relative/friend), I know she's free on Thursdays, does that work for you?" The blowjobs, and the relationship, dried up soon after that. Good riddance, cunt!
 
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