Why do men keep putting me in the Girlfriend-zone?

General Antony

General Antony

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Tanoomba_sl said:
Long gone, eh? Sure, a woman likeElena Kagancan become Supreme Court Justice so what the fuck are women complaining about?
Some comments about her from a Free Republic thread:
"Her face is so ugly you can smash it into some dough and make gorilla cookies."
"So fugly, I'd say 'don't even look'!!!"
"At least Medusa was modestly attractive by comparison."
"This person is disgusting and I would never trust 'it's' opinion on ANYTHING!"

See a problem yet?
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No, she's really fucking ugly. Truth hurts, go cry about it.
 
Tanoomba

Tanoomba

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Palum_sl said:
Haha, everyone in this thread 'hates' women? Maybe you need a dictionary to look up some of these words at this point.
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Never said "everyone in this thread hates women". And if you're going to tell me you haven't seen rampant sexism in this very thread you're a liar.


Palum_sl said:
My mom...
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Your mom sounds like an awesome person. It's totally fine that she can assemble a gun AND enjoy shoes. I'm just saying we can't assume that because someone is a female, they like shoes, and we certainly can't say that because someone is a female, she can't be a friend. Your mom has been through more "macho" experiences than many men, does she consider herself to be "an exception"? Was this willful? Was it her goal to be the exception? More likely, she made decisions based on what felt right for her and didn't let things like stereotypical gender roles influence what she wanted to do with her life (feel free to correct me if I'm wrong). I and many other people are doing the same thing with cross-gender friendships. We know there are people who can't do it and people that don't believe it's even possible, but we're not saying "We'll show them!", we're just benefiting from a wider pool of potential friends than the nay-sayers. I'm not crusading for cross-gender friendships, I'm just pointing out that the explanations why they're "impossible" are based on (say it with me) assumptions and generalizations that simply don't hold true in the real world.


Palum_sl said:
And yea, another anecdote on the pile, but I don't care at this point. You're just talking circles around yourself with all the sensationalism being used to defeat an accepted truism that men and women are fundamentally different and the base reality for most people formed from that divide which is that they can't be 'just friends' in any equitable way unless there's circumstances preventing libido on both sides simultaneously.
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Well at least you were careful enough to use the word "most". And although I admire your attempt to wrap up with a statement you believe everyone could subscribe to, I still see a fallacy in there. While I would certainly agree that friendship can exist between a man and a woman where there is a mutual lack of attraction (and I am friends with several women under just such circumstances), to me attraction and friendship are not mutually exclusive. Whether or not I am physically attracted to someone and whether or not I consider them a friend are two completely different things, and one does not invalidate the other. Yes, we acknowledged that the dictionary won't let me call such friends "platonic", so I guess I have "erotic relationships" with a few women, but I'll keep considering them my friends and they will keep considering me their friend and the rest of you can believe whatever you like.
 
General Antony

General Antony

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This is why I oppose the gay marriage movement. All these faggots get uppity the moment they start winning some votes in state legislatures. They need to be put back in their place.
 
Voyce

Voyce

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So wait are you a dude or are you a chick?


If you're a chick I'm not concerned, you can hold on to whatever fallacious notion of reality you want up until death.


If you're a guy I don't want to deal with your Aminia 2.0/Jerle/Goliath bull shit when your pathetic world is shattered.
 
Arbitrary

Arbitrary

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Jerle works for League of Legends right now and even streams from time to time. Uses the handle Damiya.

Creeeeeeepy.
 
Tanoomba

Tanoomba

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Voyce_sl said:
So wait are you a dude or are you a chick?
If you're a chick I'm not concerned, you can hold on to whatever fallacious notion of reality you want up until death.
If you're a guy I don't want to deal with your Aminia 2.0/Jerle/Goliath bull shit when your pathetic world is shattered.
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I'm a guy, and you don't have to "deal" with anything. Who invited you anyway?

Rich people aren't happy. From the day they're born to the day they die, theythinkthey're happy, but trust me. They ain't.
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Anyway, I've spent pages patiently and respectfully explaining my case, mistakenly believe some of you were capable of critical thought. Instead, the "men and women can't be friends" side had presented fuck all to support why this would even be the case in theory, let alone reality where we all actually live. I have not only explained why WHAT IS ALREADY HAPPENING is possible (as if thefactthat there exist men and women who are friends doesn't already clearly make you wrong), I've taken the time to explain why all your bullshit rationalizations based on (*sigh*) assumptions and generalizations don't hold up, but nobody cares. I have correctly pointed out the "no true Scotsman" fallacy being used to disregard my explanation, and you guys usually get boners over these fallacies, but all of a sudden it doesn't matter. Nobody's been able to explain to me why any of the points I've made defending my stance are wrong. Hell, nobody's eventried, relying instead on "That's just the way things are" rationalization that wouldn't hold weight in any argument about anything, ever. And then you have the nerve to tell me thatIhave a "fallacious notion of reality"? What a laugh. Your side has spoken out your asses, consistently and (very) repeatedly. My side gave you the benefit of the doubt enough to explain to you why speaking out your ass does not a valid argument make, but again, it doesn't matter. This isn't a debate. The debate was over pages ago (my side won). The only thing going on now is, for lack of a better term, posturing. It's a bunch of guys ostracizing and picking on the outcast to make themselves feel more secure in their own masculinity. I don't expect you to admit it, but there it is.

Keep puffing up your chests, bros. Eventually you'll start to believe you're a "real" man and you'll stop getting those "no-no" thoughts.
 
Tanoomba

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Famm_sl said:
Definite Goliath vibe at times too, maybe more than Aamina.
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That's it, keep trying to "classify" me so you can continue making assumptions about the person I am.
It's been working really well so far.
 
TrollfaceDeux

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Tanoomba_sl said:
Great video.
She makes a good point: That, historically, the imbalances in gender roles played a practical purpose in the evolution of our species and that, in many ways, men had it more difficult than women did. I'll give her that. Today, though, with the exception of child birth, we can't say that we need men to do X and women to do Y. We're realizing that gender roles have become obsolete, and that gender itself is not a dichotomy. However, sexism still exists as an ingrained attitude in our culture, an attitude that some people are fighting to defend, even! Many posters on this board wear their sexism like a badge of honor as their way of saying "Fuck you, women, you're not getting any ofmypower! Now go make me a sandwich, amirite?" So yeah, these are attitudes women have to face today and no, it's not a two-way street. You can't say that men face the same thing because they don't. Guys don't get "creeped on" on the bus, they're not instantly objectified and judged by appearance by everyone they meet, they don't have to "prove themselves" as being strong despite their gender.
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Nobody will argue that different genders face same objectification. They will only argue that quantification of objectification differs between genders (or importance of certain objectification such as "beauty," which females also consider). It is completely within margin of reason to state that women objectify menfor what they bring to the tablein exchange for their sexual commodity.
And of course, this premise is based on facts and findings...and demonstrably illustrate preferential differences between genders....(which may lead to preferential differences of friendship)




Sexual Economics: Sex as Female Resource for Social Exchange
in Heterosexual Interactions


http://www.csom.umn.edu/assets/71503.pdf

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worl...than-love.html



The Distance Between Mars and Venus: Measuring Global Sex Differences in Personality
http://www.plosone.org/article/info%...l.pone.0029265


Conclusion:
We believe we made it clear that the true extent of sex differences in human personality has been consistently underestimated. While our current estimate represents a substantial improvement on the existing literature, we urge researchers to replicate this type of analysis with other datasets and different personality measures. An especially critical task will be to compare self-reported personality with observer ratings and other, more objective evaluation methods. Of course, the methodological guidelines presented in this paper can and should be applied to domains of individual differences other than personality, including vocational interests, cognitive abilities, creativity, and so forth. Moreover, the pattern of global sex differences in these domains may help elucidate the meaning and generality of the broad dimension of individual differences known as "masculinity-femininity" [11]. In this way, it will be possible to build a solid foundation for the scientific study of psychological sex differences and their biological and cultural origins.
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Chukzombi

Chukzombi

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im glad you guys are linking girlwriteswhat videos. i discovered them myself a month ago. a female who is a straight talking libertarian is so rare.
 
Tanoomba

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Trollface_sl said:
Nobody will argue that different genders face same objectification. They will only argue that quantification of objectification differs between genders (or importance of certain objectification such as "beauty," which females also consider). It is completely within margin of reason to state that women objectify menfor what they bring to the tablein exchange for their sexual commodity.
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Sure, I'll buy that. But see, when I'm riding the subway girls don't check me out head-to-toe to see where I fall on their "bring to the table" scale.
Girls are evaluated on their looks. All the time. Regardless of what they wear.
You can explain this as biological, as I myself will, consciously or not, instantly classify any woman I meet as "attractive" or "not attractive". But many men take this biological instinct and assume it gives them the right to leer or make unwelcome advances on women in inappropriate situations. Pretty much every girl is being "sized up" by every guy who will see her all day, every day, whereas girls are not "sizing up" every random guy they see and, even if they were, they're certainly not leering or creeping.

Trollface_sl said:
And of course, this premise is based on facts and findings...and demonstrably illustrate preferential differences between genders....(which may lead to preferential differences of friendship)
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So, men and women want different things? Yeah, OK, when seeking a mate men and women will have differing criteria of what's important to them. I'll even be generous and go as far as saying that men and women may look for different things in a friend. So what? That doesn't mean that a man's "friend criteria" can't exist within a woman, or that a woman's "friend criteria" can't exist within a man. Can you admit that not every man's "friend criteria" is the same? How about every woman's? We have attained meta-cognition long, long ago and are extremely adept at rational thought (this thread notwithstanding). We are not slaves to our instinct, and "traditional" gender roles are losing relevance with every passing day. Again, I'm not saying that any man can be friends with any woman, but if a man and a woman appreciate each other as friends and consider each other friends and refer to each other as friends (which, let's face it, happens), what charts about biological differences or studies about sexual motivation or arbitrary bullshit slung by forum posters is going to convince these two people that they are not friends?

I'm telling you this: I have female friends.
Do you think this is bullshit? Do you think I'm kidding myself about my friends? Do you think my female friends, who I've had in some cases for over 25 years, are using me and I'm too stupid to realize it? You don't just shoot your mouth off like some people here, so I'd really like to know what you think about the fact that I have female friends.
 
TrollfaceDeux

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Tanoomba_sl said:
Sure, I'll buy that.But see, when I'm riding the subway girls don't check me out head-to-toe to see where I fall on their "bring to the table" scale.
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................Oh.....

rrr_img_26969.jpg


You don't just shoot your mouth off like some people here, so I'd really like to know what you think....
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i don't know.

rrr_img_26969.jpg
 
Tanoomba

Tanoomba

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Trollface_sl said:
i don't know.
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While I think it takes a mature person to admit they don't know something, you're kind of dodging here.
Let me put it this way: By your own standards, you most definitely consider your friends your friends.
What if I told you that, actually, you're a loser and your friendships are a sham.
Those buddies you were hanging out with, having a blast with, they were using you the whole time and you were just too stupid to see it.
How would you, a rational, composed man, react to that?
 
Tanoomba

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Celestein_sl said:
Maybe girls don't checkyouout...but they're surely looking at other guys for those things.

Also my GF say's you're full of shit if you really think they don't do that.
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Yes, girls are capable of seeing guys as attractive on a physical level, I'm not denying that.
But you're seriously going to stand there and tell me that some girl thinking "That guy's cute" while nudging her friend sharing a knowing glance is the same thing as guys staring down a woman, trying to make eye contact so he can engage with her, even if only on a superficial level, starting unwelcome conversations or outright flirtations, catcalling, making rude comments to his buddies, sneaking pictures with his phone, etc? Get real, man.

I'm not saying all men do that shit, most of us keep our libidos under control. But if you're a girl, especially if you're an attractive girl, you are extremely aware that you are surrounded by strangers "checking you out" all the time, and even if it's only the small minority who cross a line into "creep" territory, it's something they have to deal with regularly. They have to tune that shit outall the time. Is your girlfriend hot? Ask her how she deals with it.
 
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