You know you're getting old when.....

Aaron

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Not being able to get through the night without getting up to take a leak.
 
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Haus

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Not being able to get through the night without getting up to take a leak.

You should probably get the ol prostate and hormone levels checked, they can do shit about that these days.... #justsayin
 

Aaron

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But then I'd have one less thing to be grumpy about man! I'm getting old! Being grumpy is all I have left going for me!
 
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Hateyou

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My wife’s teenage brother saw a usb NES controller hooked up to my PC a couple years ago. He asked me what it was and I said “A Nintendo controller”. He replied “You mean like a Wii?”. I just stood there for a minute feeling old.
 
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lurker

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My shoulders hurt so much, I can't roll over without waking myself up. I'm suddenly thankful.
 

pysek

It Didn't Happen, It Should've, and It Will.
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I can't sit on the floor to play with my son without an incredible ache in my knee. I hobble like a drunken octogenarian when I try to stand up. And now standing for too long gives me the same pain in my hip. This is all just bollocks.
 
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Hoss

Make America's Team Great Again
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I rolled over and squished my balls last night...first time ever.

I sat down and squished mine the other day. Tell your wife it means they're getting too full and she needs to empty them for you. Works for me usually.
 
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Gavinmad

Mr. Poopybutthole
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When you actually have things to contribute to a 'you know youre getting old' conversation...and can't remember if you've already made that joke or not.
 
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Srathor

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When you start thinking that 30 year old women are too young.
 
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Adebisi

Clump of Cells
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"... like that scene from Fight Club ..."
"Fight Club?"
"You've never seen it?!"
"I've never heard of it"
"So good. The guy who did Seven ..."
"Seven?"


....
 
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RobXIII

Urinal Cake Consumption King
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Angel in a Centerfold come on the radio, coworker: What's a centerfold? =\

Same co-worker went to buy wine, license said they were born in 96 lol.. I'm olllld
 
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Aaron

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So they were still just a naughty twinkle in their father's eye when you folks were sockpooping EQ raids back in '99!

I keep seeing folks who are acting all grown up, in a respectable job, married with two kids, saying and doing respectable things...

...and then I find out they're younger than me!

I'd say I'm getting too old for this shit, but I don't need to. My back ache says it for me! What would I do if I didn't have you old bums to talk to? :D
 
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Jait

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My kids asked what “leave the phone off the hook” meant. And it was from a song only a decade old.
 
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slippery

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My kids asked what “leave the phone off the hook” meant. And it was from a song only a decade old.

Cell phones are basically mainstream for about 15 years now. It sure doesn't feel that long, but my age group (32) is pretty much the last ones to grow up without them
 
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Zhavric

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When you realize that people who are 32 are WAY younger than you.
 
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Haus

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You're at a convention in San Francisco for work, by random chance you somehow end up with a night that you don't have a customer or vendor commitment to be at. Your first priority is to find out what is best on the room service menu at the hotel and be in a robe by 8:00....
 
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