You know you're getting old when.....

You fuckers dial phone numbers?

Leaving a restaurant the other day a black homeless man stumbling down the road shouted asking if the person I was with was my mom or my girlfriend.

It was my girlfriend :|

When I was young I was super fit. Played basketball in university, ran, muay thai, I was a machine. I would sometimes literally play basketball all day long with a quick break for lunch and dinner. Sounds good, right? Setting myself up for older age with a healthy lifestyle, right?

Wrong. So. Fucking. Wrong.

Horrific bone spurs. Walking is agony. I feel like a crippled person and some mornings it is so bad I can barely hobble to the shower. Spent over $3,000 this year alone on various kinds of treatment. Worse thing is feet always hurt...so you feel tempted to sit more...and by sitting more tend to gain weight...making feet hurt worse.

I've gradually begun to get out of that loop by biking and swimming more but, fuck me, you have no idea how much you hate life when you can't, for example, walk to get coffee without massaging and bathing your feet in cold water for 30 minutes after.

Oh. And I also want to fuck too many young girls.

Every damn one of them. They didn't build the 18 years old like that when I was 18. I mean have you seen porn in the 80's vrs today?

I pulled a muscle in my side taking a crap.

Must have been an epic crap, though.

Soygen_sl said:

I don't even look at it as an area code at this point. My phone number is 10 digits long basically.

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this is the thing. its all digital now. I don't even know why phonenumbers are still a thing. It could just as easily be phased over to addresses like email addresses.

Awesome. I can just imagine it.

"What's your phone number?"
"Call me at[email protected]/* <![CDATA[ */!function(t,e,r,n,c,a,p){try{t=document.currentScript||function(){for(t=document.getElementsByTagName('script'),e=t.length;e--if(t[e].getAttribute('data-cfhash'))return t[e]}();if(t&&(c=t.previousSibling)){p=t.parentNode;if(a=c.getAttribute('data-cfemail')){for(e='',r='0x'+a.substr(0,2)|0,n=2;a.length-n;n+=2)e+='%'+('0'+('0x'+a.substr(n,2)^r).toString(16)).slice(-2);p.replaceChild(document.createTextNode(decodeURIComponent(e)),c)}p.removeChild(t)}}catch(u){}}()/* ]]> */"

Phoning me at work is the best way to let me know what your call is unimportant and I shouldn't waste my time answering. Need me? IM. Low priority or follow up? Email. Want to talk? Put a conference in my calendar - if the calendar is full, here's a hint - I'm not answering the phone because I'm probably busy.

Best screening mechanism there is.

He's a prostitute.

You are getting old when your birthday present is a wrapped box of dirt with a message that it was tested and is younger than you,

Sutekh_sl said:

The only explanation I could think of is you have absolutely no knowledge on computers or how to spend your money.

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Just came across this today and remembered Selix's $14,000 computer fantasy.

PC Gamer's Large Pixel Collider has a price tag just over 10k, and it can actually run any game out there on the highest settings, show the benefits of those highest settings, and still not lag. Like, we're talking full graphics mods on Bethseda games.

I still don't think it's a good buy, but man, I really do remember looking at the computers that were benchmarked higher than the alienware desktops in the 1990s in the back of PCAccelerator magazine. 14k totally happened.

Sandra Bullock turned 50 today.

sandra+bullock+hot.jpg

Vvoid_sl said:

Now I'm curious what industry you work in, because that wouldn't fly in a lot of them.

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Videogame industry. Before that semiconductor. Also spent time in Digital Media.

The semicon was where I adopted the practice.

Paul's Boutique is 25 years old. Ouch. Remember cruising around with my cousin drinking and smoking listening to this over-and-over in highschool.