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So this is a serious inquiry, and it's related to a conversation I recently had with friends. People seem to think that men will simply accept sex at any opportunity. This is the basic working premise of society. I take exception with this. I get enough sex from my wife. If a hot, 18 year old...

You and your unique penis have not check mated us, yet. Post your wife's penis here. Then I'll understand the need for secrecy.

Well, a good Advent pants-shitting is always worth while.

Maybe dispense with the toothbrush and include a dick for starters?

Canadian ketchup chips are awesome. I've never had ketchup chips in the US that are good. Too sweet here. They are seriously different, just like peanut butter is. Canadian peanut butter is far superior to American, even of the same brand. Get your wife on board, man. It's fun. My wife likes...

Maybe he likes getting pegged. Whatever floats your boat.

Fred is creepy as fuck. He looks like that guy at a party who says "I like to watch." We've never done elf on the shelf, but it sounds kinda fun.

Beef Wellington is clearly an invitation to anal.

My youngest son learned this lesson. He went from chopping hot peppers to going to the bathroom. He should have washed his hands first. Instead, he had hot, spicy junk for a few minutes. Lots of wailing.

You're smokin', and you know it.

My wife posts here sometimes on my account. She's hot.

The layers of autism in this post is remarkable.

Mine do, too. Therapy can cure this.

I mean, that only happened that one time.

Okay, fair point. Let me rephrase for myself. I have great relationships with many people of the opposite sex. And while I enjoy those relationships, and have no trouble being entirely open with them to my wife, I do not go out for drinks with another woman alone, or get coffee with another...

Yeah, this is a reasonable answer. Don't be a shitlord, Khane.

I am close friends with many women and men. And how hot they are has no impact on the friendship or the likelihood to develop a friendship. And I'm always very open with my wife about all my relationships, and, like a_skeleton_03, she has all the access she wants to all my communication devices...

Go to your room!

I'd fuck it.

13x9 with tinfoil will be fine. I tend to do 10-12 minutes per pound at around 275. Long and slow. It's already cooked, just heat it without drying it out.

Yup, fun game.

Babies are like exotic pets - they just eat, sleep, and shit. Toddlers are dicks. Then you get a few years when they think you're awesome, and want nothing more than to hang out with you and love you. Then they become surly teenagers whose greatest ambition is to sleep. I hope having adult...

I want to beleaf...

Yeah, as a Leafs fan I have no faith. Sorry. They'll likely win the cup just after the world ends.

You are dead to me.

Masturbation regret is real, apparently.

All toddlers are irrational dicks. And when they figure out something bugs or hurts you, it has become a tool for them.

Best example of onomatopoeia I've seen in a long time.

I have minor dents in two of my four vehicles.

Angry parent post. fucking kids We now have four vehicles. Old truck I drive. 1996 volvo the twins drive. 2006 volvo suv my wife drives. Hyundai Sonata, fair game. One twin dinged the Sonata backing out of the garage. Sigh. Not a big deal. Fix garage and car is okay enough. Second twin just...

I've got some free time. I'll do it. I AM a doctor. I mean, it's a Ph.D., but how hard can eyes be?

I've been trying to find that to post here. Hilarious skit. Update: All-Drug Olympics

Woke up to beautiful sheet of ice over everything, and then that's covered by three inches of snow. Morning commute is going to suck donkey balls. I'll have no trouble, but so many people are so bad a driving in the snow.

If you want amazing food for not too ridiculous a price go to Momofuki Noodle Bar in NYC. So good.

Heating element seems fine, and there is rinse aid in it. It's a mystery. So on another topic, my breaker box is full. When this house was built they put a ton of outlets, and every room has a breaker or two of its own, not to mention the four outlets in the kitchen are all their own breaker. I...

Is she having problems with other kids? Is she socially okay, but just bossy to you guys at home? If it's just you guys at home I'd simply shut down whenever she got bossy. You're reading and she's bossing you to the point of forcing you to change names and being shitty when you don't do it...

It's a newish thing. Get the dishes wet, then let them sit for a bit, then keep them wet, then go whole hog on washing. It's a short soaking type cycle built into the washing cycle. It's a good thing. I have a Bosch dish washer that I love. However, recently it has stopped drying things as...

8 KM is rounghly 5 miles. That's 8 minutes per mile. Not a difficult pace, but if you aren't a regular runner, it would get tough toward the end. Edit: you caught it yourself.