Search results

  1. lurkingdirk

    Which one of you creepy ass nerd babies is this...

    Get those stank dogs anywhere near my peen and you'd regret your life. I'm not in to foot stuff.
  2. lurkingdirk

    Marriage and the Power of Divorce

    Don't engage him.
  3. lurkingdirk

    Losing your Job

    Is a doorknob hotter than a bed post?
  4. lurkingdirk

    The Fast Food Thread

    I'm totally using this line tonight.
  5. lurkingdirk

    The Fast Food Thread

  6. lurkingdirk

    The Fast Food Thread

    You need new people in your life.
  7. lurkingdirk

    Losing your Job

    Can't be unseen.
  8. lurkingdirk

    Poll Do you like the feel of a dick in your hand?

    I need a tomato in hand option on this bloody poll.
  9. lurkingdirk

    Losing your Job

    I have a friend who started an escape room on the side. He had a space he could use in a restaurant that's in an historic house, so it's a cool space. First month it was operational, it was booked for every session. Minimum of 6 people, $20 per person. It was open Thursday 5 - 9, Friday 6 - 11...
  10. lurkingdirk

    2017 NHL Playoffs Thread

    As a Toronto fan I'm really confused by this year's bracket. It includes Toronto.
  11. lurkingdirk

    Marriage and the Power of Divorce

    I am hoping for loose aluminum shards on the worn bat. They could splinter off and lodge themselves in the rectum wall.
  12. lurkingdirk

    Marriage and the Power of Divorce

    Please fuck yourself in the ass with a heavily worn aluminum baseball bat while allowing homeless people to kick you in the nuts. Okay, stop trolling. Seriously.
  13. lurkingdirk

    Gravy's Cooking Thread

  14. lurkingdirk

    Pets

    Both my sons did that, too. 3 older sisters will do that.
  15. lurkingdirk

    Pets

    Very cute, but what's with the black nail polish?
  16. lurkingdirk

    OK Computer turned 20 yesterday

    Thanks. Now I feel old. (But this really is a great album)
  17. lurkingdirk

    Marriage and the Power of Divorce

    No you didn't. No, your cat doesn't. Stupid post is stupid.
  18. lurkingdirk

    Home Improvement

    In uber's defense, I'd not use LVP, either. There are great options, I don't like Vinyl. And your PEX work is fine. He's being a bitch.
  19. lurkingdirk

    Home Improvement

    He's over reacting. You're doing fine, and you're doing it yourself. Bravo. Next time you do it, you'll more than likely do some things differently. That's okay. I applaud you, sir. Fine work.
  20. lurkingdirk

    April Fools!

    I prefer to calm my tits, thank you very much.
  21. lurkingdirk

    April Fools!

    Well, thanks. I'll be more productive today because I won't be on here. Glad people are enjoying it.
  22. lurkingdirk

    God damnit it's not April 1st yet.

    Nice. Well, I won't be browsing FOH today.
  23. lurkingdirk

    The Fast Food Thread

    Fuck you right in the pussy. The tuna-scented pussy of the sea. I'm not the 1%, man. Though I do have a large penis. So I have that going for me, which is nice.
  24. lurkingdirk

    The Fast Food Thread

    Canned tuna is an abomination. "Chicken of the sea?" "Crap from the sea" is more like it.
  25. lurkingdirk

    Marriage and the Power of Divorce

    Fuck off. And congrats, Soy. I hope there is plenty of sleep in your future!
  26. lurkingdirk

    Marriage and the Power of Divorce

    Well, the fact that you can't get a license to carry sounds to me like the system is working perfectly. I jest. The process here is so stupid simple. If you have a drivers license and no criminal convictions, it takes roughly ten minutes. If you do have a record for a non-violent crime, it...
  27. lurkingdirk

    Vasectomy Inc

    Do it, man. Gain confidence while filling your fuck puppet with your non-vital seed.
  28. lurkingdirk

    Funniest thing a girl has ever said to you in bed?

    Similarly, "Don't cum in my sister." I need advance planning for that.
  29. lurkingdirk

    The Fast Food Thread

    It obviously had a profound impact on me.
  30. lurkingdirk

    How's it going to end?

    She wakes up in three months and thinks:
  31. lurkingdirk

    Funniest thing a girl has ever said to you in bed?

    Do you sometimes call her Capri?
  32. lurkingdirk

    The Fast Food Thread

    Great. Now I feel old.
  33. lurkingdirk

    Losing your Job

    I had to try several things before I found what I wanted to do. I was in a band, i was a chef, I was a professor, and then I landed, mostly by accident, in the music industry. There is no way I could have plotted my course, too many random things had to line up. Keep yourself open to...
  34. lurkingdirk

    The Fast Food Thread

    Are you old enough to remember the commercials?
  35. lurkingdirk

    Marriage and the Power of Divorce

    Yeah. From you that's really hurtful. Try harder.
  36. lurkingdirk

    The Fast Food Thread

    I always thought you were more of a Diet Tab man.
  37. lurkingdirk

    Marriage and the Power of Divorce

    My wife likes to take on projects. The issue is, she always takes on projects with elements she can't do herself, and will need me to do. When she starts one of these projects, I like to say to her, "Oh, good. I was looking to take something else on." She gets bitchy for a bit, and then...
  38. lurkingdirk

    Funniest thing a girl has ever said to you in bed?

    "You know, you remind me a lot of my cousin, Steve."
  39. lurkingdirk

    Pokemans and how to catch them with your phone - friend codes in OP

    This need for a special thing to evolve shit and you can only get it on the seventh day of your pokestop streak is bullshit and is rustling my jimjams.