Search results

  1. lurkingdirk

    April Fools!

    Well, thanks. I'll be more productive today because I won't be on here. Glad people are enjoying it.
  2. lurkingdirk

    God damnit it's not April 1st yet.

    Nice. Well, I won't be browsing FOH today.
  3. lurkingdirk

    The Fast Food Thread

    Fuck you right in the pussy. The tuna-scented pussy of the sea. I'm not the 1%, man. Though I do have a large penis. So I have that going for me, which is nice.
  4. lurkingdirk

    The Fast Food Thread

    Canned tuna is an abomination. "Chicken of the sea?" "Crap from the sea" is more like it.
  5. lurkingdirk

    Marriage and the Power of Divorce

    Fuck off. And congrats, Soy. I hope there is plenty of sleep in your future!
  6. lurkingdirk

    Marriage and the Power of Divorce

    Well, the fact that you can't get a license to carry sounds to me like the system is working perfectly. I jest. The process here is so stupid simple. If you have a drivers license and no criminal convictions, it takes roughly ten minutes. If you do have a record for a non-violent crime, it...
  7. lurkingdirk

    Vasectomy Inc

    Do it, man. Gain confidence while filling your fuck puppet with your non-vital seed.
  8. lurkingdirk

    Funniest thing a girl has ever said to you in bed?

    Similarly, "Don't cum in my sister." I need advance planning for that.
  9. lurkingdirk

    The Fast Food Thread

    It obviously had a profound impact on me.
  10. lurkingdirk

    How's it going to end?

    She wakes up in three months and thinks:
  11. lurkingdirk

    Funniest thing a girl has ever said to you in bed?

    Do you sometimes call her Capri?
  12. lurkingdirk

    The Fast Food Thread

    Great. Now I feel old.
  13. lurkingdirk

    Losing your Job

    I had to try several things before I found what I wanted to do. I was in a band, i was a chef, I was a professor, and then I landed, mostly by accident, in the music industry. There is no way I could have plotted my course, too many random things had to line up. Keep yourself open to...
  14. lurkingdirk

    The Fast Food Thread

    Are you old enough to remember the commercials?
  15. lurkingdirk

    Marriage and the Power of Divorce

    Yeah. From you that's really hurtful. Try harder.
  16. lurkingdirk

    The Fast Food Thread

    I always thought you were more of a Diet Tab man.
  17. lurkingdirk

    Marriage and the Power of Divorce

    My wife likes to take on projects. The issue is, she always takes on projects with elements she can't do herself, and will need me to do. When she starts one of these projects, I like to say to her, "Oh, good. I was looking to take something else on." She gets bitchy for a bit, and then...
  18. lurkingdirk

    Funniest thing a girl has ever said to you in bed?

    "You know, you remind me a lot of my cousin, Steve."
  19. lurkingdirk

    Pokemans and how to catch them with your phone - friend codes in OP

    This need for a special thing to evolve shit and you can only get it on the seventh day of your pokestop streak is bullshit and is rustling my jimjams.
  20. lurkingdirk

    Losing your Job

    You're awesome, man! That's good news. Here's hoping they like what your references have to say and they have a juicy job package for you Friday afternoon.
  21. lurkingdirk

    Home Improvement

    Yeah, but when the wind blows, you get excited. Just a normal day here, folks. Nothing to see. Move along...
  22. lurkingdirk

    Home Improvement

    I have a friend who fills the holes made with the spray foam insulation. It bulges out, and he cuts it back and paints it later, but the birds never go back to the same place. He recently did a complete paint job on his cedar siding, and that seemed to help. He also smothered pine cones in...
  23. lurkingdirk

    Lumi's Batshit Insane Thread

    If FakeLumi = himeo and himeo = retarded then we have proof that FakeLumi = retarded
  24. lurkingdirk

    Lumi's Batshit Insane Thread

    That would ruin my day, for sure!
  25. lurkingdirk

    Lumi's Batshit Insane Thread

    No, they haven't. Please point to any reliable (that's an important word in this sentence) where an official spokesperson for NASA has said anything of the sort. Just one. I'll wait. First, how is Hubble orbiting a flat earth, second, you have some balls calling any other human b
  26. lurkingdirk

    Marriage and the Power of Divorce

    I believe we need to have the dick pics posted again. For science.
  27. lurkingdirk

    Lumi's Batshit Insane Thread

  28. lurkingdirk

    Marriage and the Power of Divorce

    Have to have some to forfeit, first.
  29. lurkingdirk

    Marriage and the Power of Divorce

    Will you be pegging anyone, soon?
  30. lurkingdirk

    Marriage and the Power of Divorce

    Time to buy a strap on and google pegging.
  31. lurkingdirk

    Losing your Job

    Would.
  32. lurkingdirk

    Lumi's Batshit Insane Thread

    I'm with Soy. (But not his avatar.)
  33. lurkingdirk

    Losing your Job

    I added the things you left off the list.
  34. lurkingdirk

    The Fast Food Thread

    Urban Dictionary: lmfg
  35. lurkingdirk

    Lumi's Batshit Insane Thread

  36. lurkingdirk

    Losing your Job

  37. lurkingdirk

    First World Problems

    I didn't doxx myself. Lola's just my first name. You'd have to know that my last name is FartsAlot.
  38. lurkingdirk

    Parent Thread

    That's a bloody success! Take pride. Did she have nice boobies? My oldest son once smacked the table at a friends house and yelled, "More beer, Papa!" like it was an every day event.