AssHat 2023 Final Round!! Do it!

Araysar said:

Perfection.

May I suggest one slight tweak?

Spoiler

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Araysar said:

Thank you for your pity vote, but its clear that I fell a bit short this year. I thought I turned in a solid annual performance with several highlights but it just wasn't enough and I recognize that.

I'm going to take some time to reflect over Thanksgiving holiday about all the things I am thankful for and how blessed I am. I am going to review my 2023 posts and what I could have done better. I can see already several ways how to improve for 2024.

First and foremost, I will disperse my shitposting to every corner of the forum and will no longer limit myself to pol. I will shitpost in screenshots, post text only posts in FSR thread, and post shelly in your porno threads occassionally behind spoiler tags. Its important to realize that while I produced massive quantities of posts in several threads in pol, they only rustle the same handful of posters. It is important to be diverse and diversify into rustling people in Screenshots, MMO threads, regular video game threads, books, movies, and everywhere else.

Second, I am going to increase the quantity of shit posts to make sure we have adequate coverage in every section of the forum.

Thirdly, we are going to implement new shit post processes and an Asshat index which uses quantifiable metrics to calculate how effective of an Asshat I am being. That's right, we are going to Six Sigma shitposting to make it lean and high quality. Fresh shit posts, straight off the assembly line, JIT for your morning coffee.

Here is a tentative formula for the Asshat Index


=( (D6+(D9*0.9)-(D8/1.5))-(D7+(D10*0.9)-(D11/1.5)*1.1*D12*(D13/10) ) )

d6 = pol posts

d7 = non pol posts

d8 = pol positive reacts

d9 = pol negs

d10 = non pol reacts

d11 = non pol negs

d12 = infractions received

d13 = all time infractions received

Fourthly, we are going to have Fantasy Asshat where you will be able to draft your favorite shitposter and watch their progress through THREE 8-week seasons that we will have in 2024. Draft your favorite shitposters, bet Tucobucks, send losers to Rickshaws - we are going to make the Asshat experience fun and exciting for everyone.

We got some big and exciting things planned for 2024 and I am very excited to flood you in 2024 with thousands of shit posts.

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elidib said:

This is honestly the funniest competition i've ever seen on the internet.
Araysar's vaguely threatening gesture and stance, Wormie meekly clasping his hands together in fear, the difference in size between Araysar's massive postcount and wormie's, Araysar's caveman-tier slouch making him look like a hunchback versus Wormie's standing up straight, the remnants of what appear to be posts in the Ukraine thread on Araysar's face versus Wormie's effortless posts in the Juicing Wealth and Power thread, the intense expression on Araysar's face versus the bewildered expression on Wormie's, the sheer difference in size between their postcount - Araysar's is probably double the size of Wormie's, Araysar's tryhard profile with his posts jutting out and his longer paragraphs versus Wormie's insidious tricks. i could go on, but you get the idea.
all of this contrasted with the constant assertion that these people are identical on this forum and there is no meaningful difference between them makes for the most exquisite form of irony when their differences are juxtaposed so vividly. the contrast is almost divine - on the left is man's hubris, his desire to capture the beauty of nature and make it his own, his cerebral and conscious understanding of what it means to be what he thinks he is, his intentional "becoming". while on the right is nature, effortless being, no CHATGPT or BING or Large Language Models, just an "is" that needs nothing added to it in order to be complete. he tries so hard and yet, the harder he tries to "become", the further he takes himself away from the effortless "is" that is the thing he wants to be. it's comedy on a cosmic scale, a joke only god himself could come up with.

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Bubbles said:

Araysar vs. wormie

this has been the WORST election of all times. lurkingdirk you need to rethink the rules for next year. I'm not talking about opening it up for past winners, because fuck that but something needs to happen because every year the "best" is removed from the pool thus making the remaning field weaker. That format can not be sustained.
having said that, in a few days the title will be gone but you're all still gonna remain a bunch of sad-one-good-cry-away-from-offing-yourselves-parade-having-tranny-loving-pedos

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Rajaah said:

Are you legally considered retarded?

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