Dating
- Thread starter Wintermute
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Phazael
Confirmed Beta Shitlord, Fat Bastard
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Everyone in agreement just makes your woman brain ("Don't tell me what to do!!") dig its heels in harder. The bottom line is the same. You won't know unless you take the risk and if the downside is unbearable for you then you probably are not ready to date and won't be for a while, realistically. You know you are up against the clock on this and opportunities for a working relationship are few and far between as you get older, especially as a woman. Ultimately you have to decide yourself, but don't let feelings and some impossible standard you have set internally prevent you from seeking happiness. That is the road to never ending depression and being forever alone, and you do not want that for yourself.
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Koushirou
Log Wizard
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We’re going to try it. My mom offered to come up and house/cat sit for me while I go up to stay with him for a week. Just gotta wait for her to come back from her vacation and take care of some stuff where she lives then we can pick out a week.
The nausea’s finally mostly settled down the past day or two. Gonna try to at least have some strategies for dealing with that because we all know this won’t be the only anxiety spell I get about this, but I don’t want to make decisions based on fear anymore.
Thanks guys as always for keeping me only mildly retarded instead of full retard.
The nausea’s finally mostly settled down the past day or two. Gonna try to at least have some strategies for dealing with that because we all know this won’t be the only anxiety spell I get about this, but I don’t want to make decisions based on fear anymore.
Thanks guys as always for keeping me only mildly retarded instead of full retard.
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Hateyou
Not Great, Not Terrible
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Hateyou
Not Great, Not Terrible
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Seananigans
Honorary Shit-PhD
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Contrarily, this could actually be a cheat code. Introduce him to who you really are. He either nopes out, or he wants you even more. Win/win.
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Rajaah
Honorable Member
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My first girlfriend, her Jewish parents really wanted her to break things off with me and that was one of their plays.
"Stay away from him for a while and if it's meant to be then you'll get back together"
She bought into it fully, having watched lots of romance movies. Having some distance just made it easier for her to stay broken-up with me, since every time she saw me she'd end up wanting to get back together because I made her laugh, cheered her up, was doting, and so on. So her parents got her to "put some space" on the relationship to "see if it's meant to be"
All I can say is... "lol"
We both just sort of moved on before long because nothing was happening, and my attempts to get together were met with "but we gotta have distance to see if it's meant to beeeeee" until I went "alright fuck this then" and told her off. Which I'm guessing was the exact desired result for her dad.
TLDR: "Figuring out if you love someone" by separating is a bunch of bullshit and used by manipulative people to force an actual real separation.
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This may be the reason you were given but the real reason is that you weren't jewish. This of course wouldn't have been a problem if you were high status and had power in some sector of society. Then turning your potential future children jewish would have been an investment. The jews would be worth the squeeze(lol I crack myself up
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Rajaah
Honorable Member
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This may be the reason you were given but the real reason is that you weren't jewish. This of course wouldn't have been a problem if you were high status and had power in some sector of society. Then turning your potential future children jewish would have been an investment. The jews would be worth the squeeze(lol I crack myself up
That's why I noted that they were Jewish. I know exactly why nothing I did was good enough. It was kind of nuts. We were together for 18 months and I later found out that her parents didn't even know we were together for like the first two thirds of that, she kept telling them we were friends. I think they saw through it, but assumed we were just FWBs / I was her temporary boy toy. Then at our one year anniversary when she finally told them we were a serious item, they flipped out and spent the last 6 months trying to break us up.
She stood up to them for a while and basically told them they needed to accept it and let her live her life. However it reached a head when her and I decided to get an apartment together, since we'd been renting a room in a house with a whole bunch of roommates and she wanted to be louder during sex / be able to have sex everywhere / be able to walk around naked. (She was a repressed homeschooled girl who somehow got through two years of college without ever having a boyfriend, despite being an athlete who looked awesome in a dress, so she wanted to make up for lost time as much as possible and our living situation got in the way of that)
When she talked to her parents about moving in with me, they told her not to, and get her own place instead. She disregarded them and went ahead with it. When we were about to go look at apartments, they called and just straight-up told her that if she went against them and got a place with me, that they would never financially help her again with anything, because I was "going to be a drain" and "wouldn't be able to pay the rent" and "they would end up bailing her out" and all this other stuff that basically amounted to "he's a piece of shit poor person who probably wants to leech off our wealth".
After she got off the phone and told me this, I of course got angry and flipped out, and she realized that she couldn't keep the relationship going and having both me and her parents angry at her from opposing directions for not telling off the other. Her parents were more important at the end of the day so she broke things off and got a place, which they paid for...until they didn't and she ended up having to live with them again, or something. She was single for a while and miserable / on anti-depressants. Only saw her a couple more times over the next few years.
When she talked to her parents about moving in with me, they told her not to, and get her own place instead. She disregarded them and went ahead with it. When we were about to go look at apartments, they called and just straight-up told her that if she went against them and got a place with me, that they would never financially help her again with anything, because I was "going to be a drain" and "wouldn't be able to pay the rent" and "they would end up bailing her out" and all this other stuff that basically amounted to "he's a piece of shit poor person who probably wants to leech off our wealth".
After she got off the phone and told me this, I of course got angry and flipped out, and she realized that she couldn't keep the relationship going and having both me and her parents angry at her from opposing directions for not telling off the other. Her parents were more important at the end of the day so she broke things off and got a place, which they paid for...until they didn't and she ended up having to live with them again, or something. She was single for a while and miserable / on anti-depressants. Only saw her a couple more times over the next few years.
She made no sense to me and her family made even less sense. After that I was basically afraid to meet the parents of girlfriends for a few years, until I had enough good experiences to relax.
TLDR: Nothing I did was good enough for those people, they were rude as hell to me, and they made their daughter fucking miserable pressuring her to date someone they approved of instead. Last I heard she met a guy on a Jewish dating site and was finally able to have a normal relationship, so I guess that guy had some great qualities, lots of intangibles, and so forth