Depression

Aldarion · Friday at 11:22 AM

Gavinmad said:
I find it hard to imagine anything at all being easier to do in Illinois, much less adoption.

I didn't say it made sense, I can't pretend to understand why it is that way. Maybe its that they have surplus babies in need of adoption so they're motivated to make it easier / cheaper. All I know is they pursued it in multiple states and that was the best option all 4 times.

sleevedraw · Friday at 11:34 AM

Gavinmad said:
I find it hard to imagine anything at all being easier to do in Illinois, much less adoption.

IL's DMV is fucking awful, but states can be really quirky and have very seamless paperwork in some areas and chock full of red tape in others.

The power grid in Illinois historically was great due to it being mostly nuclear (lot of nuke talent at U of I and at Fermilab), and it has a deregulated supplier market like Texas. I've also had nursing licenses in about 10 states over my career, and Illinois was on the "easier" side of the continuum as far as the application process. Not the easiest (probably Nevada who had my approval back to me in less than 2 weeks), but generally seamless.

And bear in mind this is coming from an ex-Illinoisian who likes to talk shit about the state every chance I get.

Cutlery · Friday at 5:25 PM

Big Phoenix said:
You arent the only who deals with this. I havent spoken with my sister for going on close to a year now and I work with her. My brother went over to her house tonight for new years but of course I wasnt invited.

Its sad when I stop and think about it but what are you going to do?

Mostly, I just laugh.

I moved out the day I turned 18, because my parents are mostly narcissistic assholes. Like, for no reason either. It's basically like they sit around all day thinking up ways to fuck with their kids.

Anyway, after like 7 or 8 years of that, I started talking to them tepidly, you know, like Xmas and Easter kinda shit for a couple years. Then they kicked my sister out of the house because she had the decency to call them and say she was spending the night at her BF's. She was 22 when this happened. But nope - not coming home? Just move the fuck out. I took my sister in, and told them I was done dealing with their shit. That was....15 years ago now? I think so. Haven't spoken to them since.

Anyway, Im sorting thru the mail a week or so ago and I see cards addressed to both my daughters in a familiar handwriting. Told my oldest to open hers, Christmas card from my parents with $50 in it, and "Sorry we've missed so many Christmases"

Okay. Fine, it's a start. Except - both the kids live with me. They have to know id get the mail and see them. Anything addressed to me? No. Note saying "hey, sorry for being collosal fuckups, but we're old now and are regretting our lives now that no one wants anything to do with us."? Nope. No call, no text, no nothing. Just comical. What are you hoping for to accomplish with this?

Thankfully my oldest had the correct response. "Well, I'll take their money, but I have no interest in having a relationship with grandparents that have no interest in having a relationship with my father."

100% sure that the problems in the world are all caused by boomer parents. I seemed to have raised my kids right and done well by them, but God fucking damn, my parent's generation is just fucked up.

Cad · Friday at 6:05 PM

Cutlery said:
Mostly, I just laugh.

I moved out the day I turned 18, because my parents are mostly narcissistic assholes. Like, for no reason either. It's basically like they sit around all day thinking up ways to fuck with their kids.

Anyway, after like 7 or 8 years of that, I started talking to them tepidly, you know, like Xmas and Easter kinda shit for a couple years. Then they kicked my sister out of the house because she had the decency to call them and say she was spending the night at her BF's. She was 22 when this happened. But nope - not coming home? Just move the fuck out. I took my sister in, and told them I was done dealing with their shit. That was....15 years ago now? I think so. Haven't spoken to them since.

Anyway, Im sorting thru the mail a week or so ago and I see cards addressed to both my daughters in a familiar handwriting. Told my oldest to open hers, Christmas card from my parents with $50 in it, and "Sorry we've missed so many Christmases"

Okay. Fine, it's a start. Except - both the kids live with me. They have to know id get the mail and see them. Anything addressed to me? No. Note saying "hey, sorry for being collosal fuckups, but we're old now and are regretting our lives now that no one wants anything to do with us."? Nope. No call, no text, no nothing. Just comical. What are you hoping for to accomplish with this?

Thankfully my oldest had the correct response. "Well, I'll take their money, but I have no interest in having a relationship with grandparents that have no interest in having a relationship with my father."

100% sure that the problems in the world are all caused by boomer parents. I seemed to have raised my kids right and done well by them, but God fucking damn, my parent's generation is just fucked up.

Something about the generation above us (I'm Gen X) or the one above them that saw children as either competition or an opportunity to relive your childhood through them, and very little of the "we just want you to succeed" attitude.

Nothing wrong with cutting your parents or family off if they are shitty people. Blood doesn't make them less shitty.

Synj · 2026-01-06T23:32:57-0500

Cutlery said:
Mostly, I just laugh.

I moved out the day I turned 18, because my parents are mostly narcissistic assholes. Like, for no reason either. It's basically like they sit around all day thinking up ways to fuck with their kids.

Anyway, after like 7 or 8 years of that, I started talking to them tepidly, you know, like Xmas and Easter kinda shit for a couple years. Then they kicked my sister out of the house because she had the decency to call them and say she was spending the night at her BF's. She was 22 when this happened. But nope - not coming home? Just move the fuck out. I took my sister in, and told them I was done dealing with their shit. That was....15 years ago now? I think so. Haven't spoken to them since.

Anyway, Im sorting thru the mail a week or so ago and I see cards addressed to both my daughters in a familiar handwriting. Told my oldest to open hers, Christmas card from my parents with $50 in it, and "Sorry we've missed so many Christmases"

Okay. Fine, it's a start. Except - both the kids live with me. They have to know id get the mail and see them. Anything addressed to me? No. Note saying "hey, sorry for being collosal fuckups, but we're old now and are regretting our lives now that no one wants anything to do with us."? Nope. No call, no text, no nothing. Just comical. What are you hoping for to accomplish with this?

Thankfully my oldest had the correct response. "Well, I'll take their money, but I have no interest in having a relationship with grandparents that have no interest in having a relationship with my father."

100% sure that the problems in the world are all caused by boomer parents. I seemed to have raised my kids right and done well by them, but God fucking damn, my parent's generation is just fucked up.

Oh I didn’t know this thread was about shit talking boomers! Fuck yeah!

I agree 100%. Meanwhile, boomer parents are so fucking entitled, they think their kids are ingrates and how dare they not repair the broken relationships that they fucking broke. It’s outrageous. My mom was telling me about her friend’s daughter that was estranged and how sad it was that she had given up on her mom. I was like, you mean the one whose mom was an alcoholic and let her daughter get molested by her stepdad? That fucking mom???

“Well, she didn’t know.” Fucking boggles my mind.

Also my mom, guilting me for leaving my 10 and 12 year old alone for an hour while I go grocery shopping, zero irony around the fact that I was a latchkey kid at 5. I brought up the irony of her new found parenting skills and she gaslit me and assured me that I was not in fact a latchkey kid and no way was I ever left home alone. Okay (boomer) mom.

Worst generation ever.

Search

Depression

Aldarion

Egg Nazi

sleevedraw

Revolver Ocelot

Cutlery

Kill All the White People

Sheriff Cad

scientia potentia est

Synj

Dystopian Dreamer