Fear the Walking Dead

I actually watched this.

Warning: I hate The Walking Dead

Synopsis: This series sucks fucking dick.

Review: Worst 1hr20min of my entire life.

Summation: This show gets a 1/10. I gave it a 1 because I want to see the mom's tittys. Yes, I already googled them and saw them, but I want to see them again.

Kreugen_sl said:

It's okay because he was a drug dealer.

We still haven't had them bash a zombie child to death with a pipe.

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He din du nuthin.

Also- Noodle I was gonna bitch about your review until you mentioned I could google her tits.
Shows done, nothing else to see here.

She definitely has the worst haircut ever in Hollow Man and looks unattractive, but who am I to complain about a stray titty? She looks magnifi-fucking-cent in SOA though, or whatever it was I saw her butt in.

Has any zombie meta ever explained why the zombies don't get fat? I mean I'm assuming they don't poop.

I imagine they don't actually process food, so they are always starving. They just eat and stuff falls out of some hole or another.

Because scientifically, none of this makes sense anyhow.

kirkman and company really fail at making a consistent zombie mythos.
pretty sure in both the show and the book have portrayed walkers that have not eaten as weak and slow.
they have also show them to be very active too.
at this point, magic couldn't even explain everything.

funniest scientific observation i read about walkers was there lack of water intake, saying after a while they would weight 1/5 of normal and would probably have a 10 feet vertical. most other zombie have some sort of special blood or other something to prevent that

We know they don't need any organs other than the brain to function, which basically rules out any sort of logic.

I just pretend all the calories go towards maintenance of walking 30 miles a day

I can see why they regret the CDC episode. Just don't make people think about the hows and whys.

The problem usually comes from the headshot trope. It takes some serious imagination (or ignorance) to swallow that one. A body that has been blown apart by a fucking artillery shell may as well be Hershel's head laying on the grass, it ain't going nowhere. Fucking WWZ.

At least WD does give us zombies deteriorated to the point where all they can do is lay there and rot, and can get blown apart by blasting them with piss. And that seems to be from lack of ability to catch food, rather than just aging. Presumably a "healthy" WD zombie can live forever as long as it eats. But a cripple will just starve & rot away.

At least I pretend they thought about it that much.

EDIT: Also have to pretend that Michonne's zombie gimps would have rotted to nothing over time. And all those heads in jars that were still moving. God dammit, see what happens when you think? Better to be dumb.

I don't think the zombies ever really "need" to eat. There are instances of them finding a person who hanged themselves and they come back still "alive" as a zombie. Since they're hanging by a noose you have to assume they have not eaten.

I assume those just rot away to nothing eventually. Energy has to come from somewhere.

Kreugen_sl said:

I assume those just rot away to nothing eventually. Energy has to come from somewhere.

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I mean I'm not going to try and make sense of rotting corpses walking and trying to eat people but they have never been shown to leave scat anywhere, their blood doesn't actually corse their veins and the only real "functional" part of them is the brain. I don't think it is a massive stretch to also add "They don't need food to survive" to the heap of shit that already doesn't make sense.

But then why do they eat? Do they eat just to eat?

Yes I figure the ones that are capable of eating are essentially immortal and the ones that can't are going Christian Bale and get their energy by slowly consuming their own insides until they waste away. They don't have to be shitting human-like turds, they could just ooze waste all the time like grandma.

Otherwise it's just magic, heh.

Remember, most zombie lore doesn't take place over a huge extended period of time. Walking Dead tries to be different that way.

Noodlemod_sl said:

But then why do they eat? Do they eat just to eat?

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Why do I fuck my wife when she's on birth control? It just feels good.

If I'm wrong then there should be some seriously fat ass zombies shuffling around until they burst.