Marriage and the Power of Divorce

Khane

Khane

Got something right about marriage
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moonarchia said:
I think of you like the little devil on our shoulder that tells us to do terrible sexual things. I don't judge, I'm just making fun of Big P.
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Oh so you think I'm just a horny devil?

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Ryoz

Ryoz

<Donor>
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Cutlery said:
...Side action is side action...
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You were married, but were never together and slept with other people; it’s like you were living two separate lives. You think it’s a mere coincidence that once you started spending more time at home things got worse? It’s because now you’re not living two separate lives anymore, you want the normal family life, but you guys don’t have that. You don’t have intimacy or romance, you bark orders at her and are dismissive when she complains - what is she getting out of this relationship exactly? You’re adults and you made a decision about your sex life, that’s totally fine, but I think you’re being dismissive of what you abandoned when you guys made that agreement. I’m not saying it’s your fault, she obviously agreed to it as well, but I think in time you’ll see that this was probably a grievous blow to your marriage.

I don’t think there’s a specific way to be a good spouse and father, but if you want to be around each other all/a lot of the time and do things together (which I find to be a really great way to bond with your kids, partner, and not feel like a shitty parent) I don’t think an open relationship is the way to go. I know it can work, and people do make it work, but it seems like you’re opening a door that you can never close again.
 
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Wantonsoup95

Wantonsoup95

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Cutlery said:
It does sound like that! Unforunately Love and Like can be 2 completely seperate concepts and are not required to overlap.



This is basically it. She has so far been very conciliatory on wanting to make sure everything is fair and equal. I just let her know that me losing the house would sour that arrangement and make it less productive. If she thinks she's making me happy and in the process it gives her the peace of mind of knowing she might be able to come back, then great. I mean, it's not like it's ever going to be in writing anywhere that I HAVE to take her back, so what the fuck do I care what she thinks? It's possible that my life is in such a state that I'd let her come back as long as she agreed to up her fucking game. But it's also possible I'll be balls deep in several other prospects at the time and not really see the point. I lose nothing from this.




You know, it's kinda funny, I thought about this the other day, and I've never yelled at any of my other relationships. I've gone entire adult sexual relationships with people without them ever hearing me raise my voice, from beginning to "you need to never talk to me again" after some of the craziest shit I've ever heard.

But you know what? I reserve the right to yell at people who think this is what an office looks like. And I'm not gonna feel bad about it one fucking bit.View attachment 161877

If I ask you on Sunday to clean up some shit this week, and by Wednesday you've done nothing, I'll remind you that things need to be done. And if by the following Sunday, nothing has been done, I'll say that I'm disappointed that I can't get a simple task out of her and ask it again. And then when Sunday rolls around again and not a fucking thing has been done - well, sorry, but you're getting yelled at because you need to step up your fucking game at life.
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I'm several pages behind, but that "office" rustled my jimmies hard... how do people as adults let their living space get like that?
 
jayrebb

jayrebb

Naxxramas 1.0 Raider
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OU Ariakas said:
I say all that to say this: I don't think your woman's friends are the ones that suddenly made her realize that she had the short end of this relationship stick. It sounds more like her natural feelings of safety/security have been constantly diminished with every outside fling simply due to the fact that her lizard brain doesn't really see you as ever being fully committed. I mean, if you are willing to bang them then logically you could leave her and your offspring to be with one. Never mind the fact that she encouraged it since, in her mind, you could prove your commitment at any time by telling her that you would stop and never do it again. Now she found a guy that is telling her the things that she wanted to hear from you the entire time but probably told you over and over that she didn't need to hear.
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Side action is side action, man. Not a big deal.
 
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Mrs. Gravy

Mrs. Gravy

Quite Saucy
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moonarchia said:
Don't summon them here.
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Ya lost me Moonbaby, reference please.

Meanwhile in Mrs. G Land, Steady continues to reveal more of himself to me...more personal things and he also seeks my counsel. He may not utter the flowery words of romance, but his actions are more telling. I will take actions over words any day of the week. Additionally, he was wonderful emotional support with the death of my Nubs doggie.
I will continue to keep him.
 
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Phazael

Phazael

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Mrs. Gravy said:
Ya lost me Moonbaby, reference please.

Meanwhile in Mrs. G Land, Steady continues to reveal more of himself to me...more personal things and he also seeks my counsel. He may not utter the flowery words of romance, but his actions are more telling. I will take actions over words any day of the week. Additionally, he was wonderful emotional support with the death of my Nubs doggie.
I will continue to keep him.
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Some of that comes with age, but its nice when you don't have to do the whole princess dance and just be actually helpful in a relationship. Way back when I was dating, the whole bullshit gesture thing is what I hated the most. Nowadays, when I get my wife flowers it fucking means something because I am not doing it constantly and its not a demand. He is lucky that you are recognizing it. I hope things continue to go well for you.

PS- the starchy food item reference is a nickname for an especially annoying poster who shares the intellectual level of that same side dish.
 
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Mrs. Gravy

Mrs. Gravy

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Phazael said:
Some of that comes with age, but its nice when you don't have to do the whole princess dance and just be actually helpful in a relationship. Way back when I was dating, the whole bullshit gesture thing is what I hated the most. Nowadays, when I get my wife flowers it fucking means something because I am not doing it constantly and its not a demand. He is lucky that you are recognizing it. I hope things continue to go well for you.

PS- the starchy food item reference is a nickname for an especially annoying poster who shares the intellectual level of that same side dish.
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Thanks for the info. about the reference and for your good wishes.

As far as the rest of it goes, experience as well as age helped me. I was a bit befuddled at first, after G...dating in general. I was still a bit perplexed emotionally, but it didn't take me long to remember who I was and what was truly meaningful in terms of priorities for me.
 
moonarchia

moonarchia

The Scientific Shitlord
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Mrs. Gravy said:
Thanks for the info. about the reference and for your good wishes.

As far as the rest of it goes, experience as well as age helped me. I was a bit befuddled at first, after G...dating in general. I was still a bit perplexed emotionally, but it didn't take me long to remember who I was and what was truly meaningful in terms of priorities for me.
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Xtians have the 4 horsemen of the Apocalypse. We have the 4 Potatoes of the Idiocracy.
 
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