Noodleface
A Mod Real Quick
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My point is you're having marriage issues and you're prioritizing EQ over it
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Marriage and the Power of Divorce
- Thread starter Grumpus
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alavaz
Trakanon Raider
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The one thing that absolutely will not happen is her coming around to see your side of it and granting you gaming immunity. So you can either try together to both fix it, and yeah that means giving up games while you work on it, or you can let it continue to go to shit and hope that you can get in some stellar game time before it progresses past the awkward avoid each other phase into the pack your shit, give up half your money, custody battle phase.
In seriousness, don't hit her. That will fuck up your life the most out of all of your choices. No EQ in jail.
In seriousness, don't hit her. That will fuck up your life the most out of all of your choices. No EQ in jail.
Oblio
Utah
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Did you post this hoping people would agree with you and agree that physically/mentally dominating her is the key to success? Or did you post it hoping people would chastise you and help you realize the guilt that you are suppressing for your caveman-like antics? I really hope it is the later.
At this point you need to apologize and learn how to be the actor not the reactor. You need to tell her that the thought of laying a finger on her was a misguided attempt to end the fight and it will never ever happen again. You also need to let her know that ANY physical violence toward you is unacceptable.
I do not know you or your wife, so this suggestion may not work for you two, but I will say in my own personal experience that the few times my wife and I got really heated we opted to have very passionate sex to get that energy out and it was amazing.
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Wantonsoup95
Ahn'Qiraj Raider
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I can't imagine wanting to put the "fear of God" into my wife barring some relationship ending act. You can't go back from that. Wtf man.
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pharmakos
soʞɐɯɹɐɥd
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eh, it sounds like they've been through a lot of shit, i think there's a pretty solid chance that if he grinds wife faction for a week or two he can get back up at least to the apprehensive - low amiable range.
EQ analogy not intended to be a joke.
Phazael
Confirmed Beta Shitlord, Fat Bastard
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Seriously, unless there is a weapon in her hands, there is NEVER a reason to ever even threaten a woman with physical violence. It makes you less than a man and gives her the moral high horse on every fight and dispute that ever follows. Seriously, Lend, I talk a lot of shit at you but if there is ever an instance where you feel the need to do that again, just walk away and start the divorce process. There is just no way you can ever come back from something like that and she will have a field day with you when the court shit starts rolling. Just realize that even taking a laptop to the nuts is probably nothing compared to what even a minor swat will do to the average woman and suck it up. There are tough as hell woman who are the exception to this sort of rule, but they are either batshit crazy (and you should stay away) or (in my experience) very clear about the ground rules upfront about physicality. Outside of those rare exceptions, always treat women with care no matter how many buttons they push.
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It's going to be a slightly different answer from me.
I won't say she should have been threatened. I will say that my wife has done something similar and I made it very clear that if that happened I would restrain her to stop her from continuing to hit me and then I would pursue a divorce immediately. That is not behavior that is conducive to a partnership. I told her that while she was restrained from hitting me further. It has never come close to that again.
Just because she is a woman does not mean she gets away with hitting no matter how ineffectual it might be. You don't need to hit her to make that point but just because you touch her in that scenario does not mean you are a terrible man/person/husband.
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SeanDoe1z1
Avatar of War Slayer
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No real advice but this reminds me of the time in our drunk 20s I took my wife to the ground(couch) with my pinky to prove a point that the bullshit some drunk women do trying to invoke some violent response is a stupid ass idea. It stuck pretty well, but we also drink a hell of a lot less now.
Cupcaek
Molten Core Raider
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Noodle is correct in that regard lend. As a few others have pointed out. Obviously there are other things at play there but its a factor. I have taken a step back from games recently myself to avoid heading down that path. I realized how little time I was spending with my wife and how much more time i spent staring at my monitor. As fun as EQ and other games are we probably shouldnt be spending more time on them then we do interacting with our wife and kids.
SeanDoe1z1
Avatar of War Slayer
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Lend and I seem to be in pretty similar situations. I'll do the heavy lifting on the money side and sacrifice quite a lot for it, my wife has the kids and also does nursing school 3-6hrs a sem depending. She is working about 1/5 of the time this year which is whatever. Have not been pressuring her to work anymore and I help quite a bit with her school. When she works its 2 kids + newborn for those long ass nursing shifts so I pretty much give up weekends for money which is my choice, genuinely no complaints as I'm a money whore.
My older kids (pretty young still so much more leeway from me) and wife get it that when I/her come home we expect some basic cleanliness that amounts to 20minutes of work. Any trash around the house is thrown away, any open dishes is at least in the sink to be handled at dinner, and kid's lunchboxes are emptied/cleaned, clothes (sports) are put in dirty clothes. Basically, all the shit we use daily is put where it needs to be by the end of the day- otherwise it builds up and becomes gross as fuck. I cook 80 % of the time. Enjoy it, good at it.
I came home the other day and asked my 2 kids to come outside with me to my car so they would experience what I see on a "bad" day. Come in the front door and see XYZ in playroom, go through dining room and see XYZ, now the living room and see XYZ. Ask them to be more aware and help out. Kids regress daily though and I expect my adult wife to keep that train running when I'm away. It doesn't always happen and I think that is where a large problem is. It is hard to keep that brain 24/7 on adultmode and a lot of people can just say fuck it 10 % of the time. As a fam we typically clean deeper on Sundays when we're all around. GI parties and all that...helps with that lazy factor when you want it.
Happily married, but we have to remind each other to not be fucksticks every once and awhile. Texting throughout day helps, Do XYZ and I'll do XYZ when I get home, etc. Lot of times Wife and I will just agree to fuck to swipe the slate clean when we angry at eachother. I can see it being problematic if that ever went away and I would be a scornful asshole. Sometimes to escape I'll dip and play golf or catch a movie. Wife thinks I'm banging 30 whores in some shipping container from thailand but gets reassured to turn her monkeybrain dial down to 1, but it definitately does a soft reset on things.
My older kids (pretty young still so much more leeway from me) and wife get it that when I/her come home we expect some basic cleanliness that amounts to 20minutes of work. Any trash around the house is thrown away, any open dishes is at least in the sink to be handled at dinner, and kid's lunchboxes are emptied/cleaned, clothes (sports) are put in dirty clothes. Basically, all the shit we use daily is put where it needs to be by the end of the day- otherwise it builds up and becomes gross as fuck. I cook 80 % of the time. Enjoy it, good at it.
I came home the other day and asked my 2 kids to come outside with me to my car so they would experience what I see on a "bad" day. Come in the front door and see XYZ in playroom, go through dining room and see XYZ, now the living room and see XYZ. Ask them to be more aware and help out. Kids regress daily though and I expect my adult wife to keep that train running when I'm away. It doesn't always happen and I think that is where a large problem is. It is hard to keep that brain 24/7 on adultmode and a lot of people can just say fuck it 10 % of the time. As a fam we typically clean deeper on Sundays when we're all around. GI parties and all that...helps with that lazy factor when you want it.
Happily married, but we have to remind each other to not be fucksticks every once and awhile. Texting throughout day helps, Do XYZ and I'll do XYZ when I get home, etc. Lot of times Wife and I will just agree to fuck to swipe the slate clean when we angry at eachother. I can see it being problematic if that ever went away and I would be a scornful asshole. Sometimes to escape I'll dip and play golf or catch a movie. Wife thinks I'm banging 30 whores in some shipping container from thailand but gets reassured to turn her monkeybrain dial down to 1, but it definitately does a soft reset on things.
Yeah I see no issue with it being a video game. Lendarios is correct that if it was hanging out with the boys playing poker or going to a futbol game there would be less of an issue. Our hobby has an unearned stigma that it shouldn't carry as much weight because you are still at home and nobody else is sitting there with you.
My wife and I came to grips with that a long time ago.
My wife and I came to grips with that a long time ago.
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Noodleface
A Mod Real Quick
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Again my point is not the game - although i can't resist at a dig at an EQ fag. It could be activity X - he's shutting down on his wife.
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I think some other people do, prior to the fight the game wasn't an issue. Post fight though I totally agree.
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I do not agree with this, if someone raises their hands to you or hits you with an object they should consider that action before they do it. Being the weaker sex does not give them a pass to be physically abusive. If a bitch wants to raise hands to me she is an adult and is free to do so but should consider the consequences.
Stop infantilizing women. They know EXACTLY what they are doing.
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TheNozz
Ssraeszha Raider
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I don't know if this is the thread for this, but I've been miserable for a long time now due to my inability to get any kind of relationship going for nearly 7 years.
No woman has been interested in me sexually for the last 2 years unless I pay them.
I went on a date in March that went nowhere, and before that, hadn't been able to set up a date since 2016.
I haven't been in a relationship since 2011.
No one has told me "I love you" since 2007.
I've spent most of my entire adult life by myself while my parents had been in multiple marriages with multiple children by the time they were younger than me by 6 years.
There are times when I think about offing myself, but ultimately can't bring myself to do it because I'm too afraid of dying, NOT because I have anything to live for.
No woman has been interested in me sexually for the last 2 years unless I pay them.
I went on a date in March that went nowhere, and before that, hadn't been able to set up a date since 2016.
I haven't been in a relationship since 2011.
No one has told me "I love you" since 2007.
I've spent most of my entire adult life by myself while my parents had been in multiple marriages with multiple children by the time they were younger than me by 6 years.
There are times when I think about offing myself, but ultimately can't bring myself to do it because I'm too afraid of dying, NOT because I have anything to live for.
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There's someone out there for everybody man. Can you describe to me your efforts to get a relationship going? When you say a date in March went nowhere, what do you mean by that? She said no to a second date?
Dating isn't a sniper one shot one kill game, it's a spray and pray game. Go on 50 more dates. Meet 50 more women. Give all of them a legitimate shot.
Also do some serious introspection here. What is it about you that women don't like? Is it something correctable? Is it you who ultimately isn't interested in them since you're a loner/unfriendly/unapproachable?
Even loners get lonely, so don't assume your loneliness means you're craving a relationship, because other facets of your personality might be outright rejecting the sacrifices being close with another human entails.
Tell us more.
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