Marriage and the Power of Divorce

Deathwing · Jan 4, 2019

Frenzied Wombat said:
Men Enjoy Sex With Mentally Unstable Women More, A New Study Finds

Gut reaction without reading the article: duh? Crazy chicks are more willing to do the nasty shit we want. Because, idk, let's go with...*throws dart*...daddy issues.

Sometimes I wish my wife was crazy so she'd ask for the kinky stuff, or sex in general, instead of me having to continuously prod her for it. Or, at least, that's how I imagine it would go.

Hey baby, I think it would be cool if you would do X.
We do X because I mentioned it, she loves it.
She promptly forgets about it.
Repeat until you divorce or kill yourself.

I sometimes wonder how we, as a species, got to this point with such different sex drives between the genders. Do women make better child rearers because they aren't thinking about sex?

Frenzied Wombat · Jan 4, 2019

Deathwing said:
Gut reaction without reading the article: duh? Crazy chicks are more willing to do the nasty shit we want. Because, idk, let's go with...*throws dart*...daddy issues.

Sometimes I wish my wife was crazy so she'd ask for the kinky stuff, or sex in general, instead of me having to continuously prod her for it. Or, at least, that's how I imagine it would go.

Hey baby, I think it would be cool if you would do X.
We do X because I mentioned it, she loves it.
She promptly forgets about it.
Repeat until you divorce or kill yourself.

I sometimes wonder how we, as a species, got to this point with such different sex drives between the genders. Do women make better child rearers because they aren't thinking about sex?

There's no doubt crazy equals better in bed-- that's been confirmed by repeated anecdotal experience for me.. It's probably one of the few things that prove God may exist and he has a sick sense of humor.

Personally, every chick I've ever dated has been a horndog and just as much, if not more, into sex than I am. So I don't understand that gender sex comment, however I do understand things can radically change after marriage/kids.

Deathwing · Jan 4, 2019

Frenzied Wombat said:
There's no doubt crazy equals better in bed-- that's been confirmed by repeated anecdotal experience for me.. It's probably one of the few things that prove God may exist and he has a sick sense of humor.

Personally, every chick I've ever dated has been a horndog and just as much, if not more, into sex than I am. So I don't understand that gender sex comment, however I do understand things can radically change after marriage/kids.

I've always been the initiator in my relationships, but I'll admit my sample size is small. And if I don't initiate, sex likely isn't happening.

It wasn't that great before our only kid, but it's gotten continuously worse the 5 years after. She took one diagnosis of Fibro Myalgia from a doctor/practice she doesn't even like(but still goes to) and has fucking run with it. We're at sex maybe once a week. And it's this nebulous low-effort, I just feel like having an orgasm sex. When asked for requests or specifics, she just gets flustered and awkwardly repeats the previous sentence.

I really hope this is atypical because I wouldn't wish this upon even the worst shitposter here. We're basically roommates at this point. The lack of sex has led to emotional disconnect, at least on my end. Maybe that's shallow, but doing other activities with her are enriched when there's a reasonable expectation of sex. Worst part is I can't get mad at her for having a disease. I think Fibro is bullshit and I'm pissed she's basically decided to live with it, not even getting a second opinion. But if she really has it, 30+ years of more of this shit is going to be torture. I just don't know how to make the two ends meet if she really has fibro.

Frenzied Wombat · Jan 4, 2019

Deathwing said:
I've always been the initiator in my relationships, but I'll admit my sample size is small. And if I don't initiate, sex likely isn't happening.

It wasn't that great before our only kid, but it's gotten continuously worse the 5 years after. She took one diagnosis of Fibro Myalgia from a doctor/practice she doesn't even like(but still goes to) and has fucking run with it. We're at sex maybe once a week. And it's this nebulous low-effort, I just feel like having an orgasm sex. When asked for requests or specifics, she just gets flustered and awkwardly repeats the previous sentence.

I really hope this is atypical because I wouldn't wish this upon even the worst shitposter here. We're basically roommates at this point. The lack of sex has led to emotional disconnect, at least on my end. Maybe that's shallow, but doing other activities with her are enriched when there's a reasonable expectation of sex. Worst part is I can't get mad at her for having a disease. I think Fibro is bullshit and I'm pissed she's basically decided to live with it, not even getting a second opinion. But if she really has it, 30+ years of more of this shit is going to be torture. I just don't know how to make the two ends meet if she really has fibro.

Fibro is probably real, but unless she exhibits significant outward symptoms than it's probably more excuse than actual reason. Roommates can't last indefinitely, so you'd better get to the bottom of what the actual issue is. If no resolution and you have kids, then I would recommend an open marriage until they are 18 or so. if no kids and no resolution, end the pain and get divorced.

Noodleface · Jan 4, 2019

You ain't alone deathwing. The bangmaids are few and far between. Don't worry though, they'll be here soon to rub it in

moonarchia · Jan 4, 2019

What FW said, except even if you have kids go with divorce if you can't work that out. Sex is obviously an important aspect of the relationship for you, so you won't be doing anyone any favors by making yourself miserable. It will poison your life and the lives of everyone around you, including the kids.

Frenzied Wombat · Jan 4, 2019

moonarchia said:
What FW said, except even if you have kids go with divorce if you can't work that out. Sex is obviously an important aspect of the relationship for you, so you won't be doing anyone any favors by making yourself miserable. It will poison your life and the lives of everyone around you, including the kids.

Personally, I only recommend divorce with young/teen kids if you are SURE that it can be handled amicably, and you trust your wife to raise your kids well without you, cause at best you're going to have 50% custody. If you think she's going to go Full Lawyer and be an angry bitch, or you don't trust her to raise the kids alone, the damage done to your kids will haunt you till your grave. Better to just stay roommates with a sidepiece and wait it out until you don't have child support issues to worry about, and your kids are old enough to deal with the conflagration should things turn messy.

Hoss · Jan 4, 2019

I thought fibro myalga was what they labeled it when you claimed to have pain and they can find no evidence of it. My wife says it's a diagnosis of "it's in your head, here's some pills go away". They tried to diagnose her with it and she went batshit. So while the pain may be something real, calling it firbo may mean that the doctor isn't even trying to fix it.

I married slightly crazy. Last night she was begging me to stick things in her butt. I'd say that "crazy = good sex" theory checks out. I wish she was a bangmaid; while she cooks, fucks, and cleans well, it's hard to get her to do them all regularly.

moonarchia · Jan 4, 2019

Frenzied Wombat said:
Personally, I only recommend divorce with young/teen kids if you are SURE that it can be handled amicably, and you trust your wife to raise your kids well without you, cause at best you're going to have 50% custody. If you think she's going to go Full Lawyer and be an angry bitch, or you don't trust her to raise the kids alone, the damage done to your kids will haunt you till your grave. Better to just stay roommates with a sidepiece and wait it out until you don't have child support issues to worry about, and your kids are old enough to deal with the conflagration should things turn messy.

You do know the response to asking for an open marriage in 90+% of cases is the other party seeking a divorce, right? And that would be the acrimonious sort. That request is directly telling them that they are not good enough of a spouse for you, so it does not usually go well.

Frenzied Wombat · Jan 4, 2019

moonarchia said:
You do know the response to asking for an open marriage in 90+% of cases is the other party seeking a divorce, right? And that would be the acrimonious sort. That request is directly telling them that they are not good enough of a spouse for you, so it does not usually go well.

Well it's a last resort play after an honest talk. She can't reasonably expect him to subsist on reluctant and occasional sex indefinitely, so the question begs, what's her perception of a solution? If she honestly has a fibro problem she can't expect her husband to sexually martyr himself for the rest of his life.

moonarchia · Jan 4, 2019

Frenzied Wombat said:
Well it's a last resort play after an honest talk. She can't reasonably expect him to subsist on reluctant and occasional sex indefinitely, so the question begs, what's her perception of a solution? If she honestly has a fibro problem she can't expect her husband to sexually martyr himself for the rest of his life.

She can and very well might. That's generally not an area that is highly susceptible to logic. If they talk and can't come to a solution where they both get what they want, I would suggest just making arrangements and getting a divorce before even thinking about going into that minefield.

Cad · Jan 4, 2019

moonarchia said:
She can and very well might. That's generally not an area that is highly susceptible to logic. If they talk and can't come to a solution where they both get what they want, I would suggest just making arrangements and getting a divorce before even thinking about going into that minefield.

If you're at the point of divorce over it anyway there's no real harm in bringing it up, she might be fine with it. She likely won't be, but you never know.

Deathwing · Jan 4, 2019

Some good suggestions, I appreciate the feedback. I also realize that I'm probably a bit irrational about the lack of sex because of the lack of sex, if that makes any sense. I try to downplay it, but there's only so many times I can fool myself that we fucked, maybe things are better now.

Cad · Jan 4, 2019

Deathwing said:
Some good suggestions, I appreciate the feedback. I also realize that I'm probably a bit irrational about the lack of sex because of the lack of sex, if that makes any sense. I try to downplay it, but there's only so many times I can fool myself that we fucked, maybe things are better now.

I'm not trying to be that guy, but when you do fuck, are you making it all about her and making sure she comes so hard she can't see straight, lots of foreplay, make it very girly for a while until she's back into it? Once you've got her desiring pleasure again you can regress a bit but to get her going again you might want to try extra hard to make it very female-oriented and all about her. Save the collars and buttplugs for later.

Big Phoenix · Jan 4, 2019

Hoss said:
I thought fibro myalga was what they labeled it when you claimed to have pain and they can find no evidence of it. My wife says it's a diagnosis of "it's in your head, here's some pills go away". They tried to diagnose her with it and she went batshit. So while the pain may be something real, calling it firbo may mean that the doctor isn't even trying to

Fibro is just attention seeking behavior aka crazy.

Frenzied Wombat · Jan 4, 2019

moonarchia said:
She can and very well might. That's generally not an area that is highly susceptible to logic. If they talk and can't come to a solution where they both get what they want, I would suggest just making arrangements and getting a divorce before even thinking about going into that minefield.

I have known two women who had long term terminal cancer, obviously had no sex drive, and released their partner for a purely physical relationship. Either that or their husbands were lying to me. If the woman isn't totally selfish she should realize that her husband standing by her side until death is alone a huge task, and asking him to be celibate for years while he watches you die isn't fair. Again, it requires some logic and selflessness, and assuredly there are plenty of women who would say no, but like

Cad said you don't have much to lose if the alternative is divorce.

Deathwing · Jan 4, 2019

Cad said:
I'm not trying to be that guy, but when you do fuck, are you making it all about her and making sure she comes so hard she can't see straight, lots of foreplay, make it very girly for a while until she's back into it? Once you've got her desiring pleasure again you can regress a bit but to get her going again you might want to try extra hard to make it very female-oriented and all about her. Save the collars and buttplugs for later.

Of course. I don't orgasm until she physically unable to anymore. Sorry that sounds like a humble brag, but I've gotten pretty good at not orgasming until I'm in a certain position, so pleasuring her to exhaustion is no problem.

My biggest turn on is a woman's pleasure, especially if I'm doing it. She's always first priority during sex.

What if likes collars? Rhetorical, I'm just being cheeky, I get your point. No weird stuff for a bit.

Khane · Jan 4, 2019

Hrmm... interesting conversation. Almost every woman I have dated has had a higher libido than I do. I wonder if men with lower libidos are less likely to get married because they don't feel like they need to lock down a steady sex partner to satisfy their desire... hrmmm.

Noodleface · Jan 4, 2019

My wife wanted to fuck 3 times a day when we dated. Sneaky bitches

Hoss · Jan 4, 2019

Deathwing said:
Of course. I don't orgasm until she physically unable to anymore. Sorry that sounds like a humble brag, but I've gotten pretty good at not orgasming until I'm in a certain position, so pleasuring her to exhaustion is no problem.

My biggest turn on is a woman's pleasure, especially if I'm doing it. She's always first priority during sex.

What if likes collars? Rhetorical, I'm just being cheeky, I get your point. No weird stuff for a bit.

In that case, maybe it's the opposite problem. My wife has told me there are times she doesn't wanna fuck because I make such a huge production out of it and take too long. Sometimes she just wants a quickie and if she can't get it she'll do without. She says fucking feels good even without an orgasm and sometimes the orgasm just takes too much out of her, so she doesn't want one every time. Talk to your girl and see if that's the issue.

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Marriage and the Power of Divorce

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