Marriage and the Power of Divorce

Crone

Crone

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I've never had the dinner table piled high with shit like it looks like the foreground of that picture is, but the background kitchen counters? I've seen some of my shit get pretty damn close. :(

But hey, if I mention I make all the money she get's pissed because she's taking care of our 3 kids, and that's hard work. Right?
 
Noodleface

Noodleface

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Our table is like that and I tell her it's disgusting. Everyone tells her it's disgusting. I told her I'm never touching it. She complains I don't eat there and I literally don't have a spot to eat. It's getting to the point where one day I'm gonna say "alright" and just put my arm down at one end and literally slide the entire mess onto the floor. I just think about my kids having friends over and they're gonna deal with that shit.

But otherwise I think his house was way worse than mine somehow. I guess I just complained here more than anyone else. My own fault.

We went to the proposal spot today (Newport cliff walk). Did a nice 6 mile walk and then went and tried a Mexican place that opened up (really good). Had some pretty wild sex and she dressed like a whore so I can't complain.

Technically in a few weeks we start trying for the final kid. We both decided 3 is the limit and I'll be having the snip snip. Truth be told 2 is kind of enough for me, but she really wants 3 so I agreed with it. With the youngest being autistic, things are a little tough to deal with sometimes. Just really hoping for a third boy.

She mentioned maybe renewing vows in 4 years so I'm gonna keep that in the back of my mind. Despite my complaining here I am generally happily married. I'm an emotionless husk, so I'm sure I'm not easy to deal with. I just hope one day she realizes the clutter and mess she leaves everyday is taking a toll.

On the money thing. I rarely ever play that card unless she's really pissing me off like with the guitar thing. She supported me for years, so this really is a partnership. I just happen to have a better income than almost anyone I know, so we lucked out pretty good and the tables are turned.
 
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Noodleface

Noodleface

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There's just an emotional toll it takes. My mind can never relax knowing there's a big mess somewhere.. multiple places really
 
iannis

iannis

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I'm kidding. I don't have a wife. If I came home and it was cleaned I would thank the burglars for taking pity on a foul bachelor frog.
 
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Cutlery

Cutlery

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Noodleface said:
There's just an emotional toll it takes. My mind can never relax knowing there's a big mess somewhere.. multiple places really
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So, these pics were taken after I'd been out of the house for 5 months. It was never *that* bad while I was living there, because I'd do something about the parts of it I could. But, this is a great example of what she's like when she's left to her own devices. The kids hated every minute of it.

But you're right...it's super emotionally draining. For me, I never had the desire to improve anything or make the house nice in any way. Why bother? The rest of it is a complete shithole anyway.

Now that it's not a complete shitshow, it's amazing the mental transformation. Now when I get something like the shower leaking at the drop elbow behind the wall for who knows how long, I look at the bathroom and go "awesome, never liked this tile anyway. Time to go to home Depot."

Now it's extraordinarily satisfying to put effort into this. Getting the house cleaned was huge. Air quality in that shit was a disaster and the kids were sneezing non stop. Got it cleaned up and all of a sudden the allergy problems subsided. Now that the house isn't a pile of shit, I'm motivated to improve the yard and can spend a lot of time deforesting that shit so I can actually see my pond. The emotional change is huge. The task ahead of me is giant...but I don't see it as insurmountable or not worth the effort anymore.

I'm a much happier man. I'm much more tired, for sure. But also content with my existence like I never was.
 
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Cutlery

Cutlery

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Oh, I almost forgot....

A year later, that entire mess of shit is still sitting in some other poor schmuck's garage!
 
iannis

iannis

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I'd almost say you could turn it into a giant fire pit.

How many dumptrucks is it going to take to fill that thing in? More than 1.
 
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moonarchia

moonarchia

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Crone said:
I've got three at 6, 4, & 2 and I'm content and don't feel like anymore. However the wife says she wants one more, but I'm like you can't keep shit up and handled with 3, why would I want to add a fourth, and she doesn't give a shit.
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Snip snip. Just get it done before you have a week or two away from her and she'll never even need to know unless you tell her.
 
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Picasso3

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Buy a Chinese electric jackhammer off Amazon for $150 and start busting on that pool and throwing the rubble in the bottom as your evening pastime.
 
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Soygen

Soygen

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Picasso3 said:
Buy a Chinese electric jackhammer off Amazon for $150 and start busting on that pool and throwing the rubble in the bottom as your evening pastime.
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Dynamite that bitch.
 
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Cutlery

Cutlery

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Deathwing said:
Well, at this point it's probably harboring some deadly diseases.
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Probably not. But it is summer home to a fuckload of turtles.

I dunno where this prehistoric shit came from, but thankfully he meandered off.
IMG_20170619_061153056.jpg


I never wanted the pool to begin with, but she "couldn't live without it." We had the house 9 years. It was open one summer.

Honestly, I'm just sad I didn't wake the fuck up sooner. I wasted a lot of my life on someone who was never a partner and never gonna appreciate anything I did.

Here's how it starts - the house is a shithole, you get annoyed and ask her to clean. She fucks off and ignores you. Then you get pissed and tell her to clean up her shit, and then she tells you that you have an anger problem and she doesn't deserve to be yelled at. Rinse and repeat for a few years until you actually start to believe that shit. Then she starts calling you abusive because you came home and "got pissed for like, no reason."

And then people start believing her because she starts the story right there and no one is ever allowed over at the house so no one sees. But once you show the whole story, who's abusing who becomes extremely apparent.
 
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Deathwing

Deathwing

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I had a similar conversation with my wife. We had an "airing of grievances" last week that actually went a lot better than I expected. One of her complaints is that I get angry too easily/often. I pulled up my literal list of grievances(that we'd already been over) and made hand gestures. She backed down but still asked if it was something I could work on. It was nice to find a compromise for once that was based on some logical middle ground.
 
P

Picasso3

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It takes a lot of shit to elicit sympathy for a snapping turtle but look at that poor bastard trying to learn how to climb steps so he can escape the starvation pit. Probably just had to eat his own family because the frog rations ran out.
 
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