Marriage and the Power of Divorce

Cad

Cad

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As usual Khane is a fucking idiot. It has nothing to do with any particular sexual act, or whether her tits are big enough, or whatever. If he's married her for 18 years and still fucks her, she's physically attractive enough.

Does she make him feel wanted? Does she sometimes surprise him by sneaking up behind him, telling him how wet she is for him, and force him into the closet so he can bang one out real quick? Does she make him believe that she loves it even when she's got to get to work in the morning and he's dragging it out?

Similarly. Do you make sure she knows you love fucking *her*, and not just fucking? Do you lay hands on her body while you're pounding her and make her feel like you love all of her, not just the maybe-moist slot between her legs? Do you look in the eyes and kiss her while you're fucking her? Do you do the dishes before she gets home and pour her a nice vodka soda and sit and rub her feet sometimes before sexy time or do you just lay in bed with a hardon and expect her to jump on it?

Sex is not about what part goes where or will she stick fingers in my butt or whatever. It's about do you feel something OTHER than just the physical aspect while you're doing it?

If you're one of those guys like Khane that gets bored and can't imagine banging the same chick for 20 years, it's because no chick ever loved him and they all treated him like the cheap shitty date he is and just gave him a pity fuck that they weren't interested in. When the newness wears off, they're done, and he's done. BORING.

Make her feel loved. She'll reciprocate. Or she won't and you can shitcan her. But thats what good sex is.
 
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Khane

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Do you realize you just said exactly what I did? Or are you too blinded by the name next to the post?
 
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Grabbit Allworth

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Cad said:
Does she make him feel wanted? Does she sometimes surprise him by sneaking up behind him, telling him how wet she is for him, and force him into the closet so he can bang one out real quick? Does she make him believe that she loves it even when she's got to get to work in the morning and he's dragging it out?

Similarly. Do you make sure she knows you love fucking *her*, and not just fucking? Do you lay hands on her body while you're pounding her and make her feel like you love all of her, not just the maybe-moist slot between her legs? Do you look in the eyes and kiss her while you're fucking her? Do you do the dishes before she gets home and pour her a nice vodka soda and sit and rub her feet sometimes before sexy time or do you just lay in bed with a hardon and expect her to jump on it?

Sex is not about what part goes where or will she stick fingers in my butt or whatever. It's about do you feel something OTHER than just the physical aspect while you're doing it?

If you're one of those guys like Khane that gets bored and can't imagine banging the same chick for 20 years, it's because no chick ever loved him and they all treated him like the cheap shitty date he is and just gave him a pity fuck that they weren't interested in. When the newness wears off, they're done, and he's done. BORING.

Make her feel loved. She'll reciprocate. Or she won't and you can shitcan her. But thats what good sex is.
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I absolutely make her feel loved/needed. I literally shower her in attention all of kinds. I always have and still do (which is where a lot of the resentment comes from because she doesn't reciprocate). There is absolutely no question in her mind that she is loved and that I find her incredibly sexy. I routinely tell her how much I lust for her and worship her body with touch, kiss, etc. I know she's attracted to me because she very often asks me to fuck her, but there's nothing to it. It's not mechanical, but it's...too vanilla. She's not a starfish, but there's A LOT of room for improvement. And it's not because she's not being pleased. I know my way around her body like the back of my hand; I can make her cum in under a minute. Rare is the day where I don't give her several orgasms. All said, I'd probably cum in my pants on the spot if she were waiting for me in lingerie or whispered in my ear that she wanted to suck me dry. I work really hard at being a model husband and just as hard at staying attractive (to be fair, so does she), but it feels like all work and no reward.

She often jokes that our stereotypical gender "needs" in the relationship are reversed. I'm a large, muscular, manly-man, but I am also hopelessly romantic and passionate. I've tried everything over the years to inspire her and only the most elaborate schemes (vacation, weekend getaways, etc.) elicit any response and even then I end up majorly disappointed. She won't even sext me because she says "I have no imagination and it's just weird." How am I supposed to work with that?

Make no mistake, this isn't a "woe is me" conversation. I couldn't be a more giving husband. I even do my fair share of the housework.
 
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Foler

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Grabbit Allworth said:
I absolutely make her feel loved/needed. I literally shower her in attention all of kinds. I always have and still do (which is where a lot of the resentment comes from because she doesn't reciprocate). There is absolutely no question in her mind that I find her incredibly sexy. I routinely tell her how much I lust for her and worship her body with touch, kiss, etc. I know she's attracted to me because she very often asks me to fuck her, but there's nothing to it. It's not mechanical, but it's...too vanilla. She's not a starfish, but there's A LOT of room for improvement. I'd probably cum in my pants on the spot if she were waiting for me in lingerie or whispered in my ear that she wanted to suck me dry. I work really hard at being a model husband and just as hard at staying attractive (to be fair, so does she), but it feels like all work and no reward.

She often jokes that our stereotypical gender "needs" in the relationship are reversed. I'm a large, muscular, manly-man, but I am also hopelessly romantic and passionate. I've tried everything over the years to inspire her and only the most elaborate schemes (vacation, weekend getaways, etc.) elicit any response and even then I end up majorly disappointed. She won't even sext me because she says "I have no imagination and it's just weird." How am I supposed to work with that?

Make no mistake, this isn't a "woe is me" conversation. I couldn't be a more giving husband. I even do my fair share of the housework.
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Mario Speedwagon Mario Speedwagon may be right. Time to spice it up with butt stuff? I mean it seems like you're beating around the bush a lot here. Get to the point. You said the sex is vanilla. So it's just boring ole missionary/doggy? Take some initiative, grab her ass in public, put a finger in her ass while you're eating her bag, maybe hold her neck while you fuck her. That shit will slowly evolve into sticking toys in each others butts and eating ass. It'll be glorious. But, alas Rome wasn't built in a day and you won't be tonguing her anus right off the bat. Work your way up, start with light bondage before you break out the restraints and whips.
 
Khane

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Grabbit Allworth said:
I absolutely make her feel loved/needed. I literally shower her in attention all of kinds. I always have and still do (which is where a lot of the resentment comes from because she doesn't reciprocate). There is absolutely no question in her mind that she is loved and that I find her incredibly sexy. I routinely tell her how much I lust for her and worship her body with touch, kiss, etc. I know she's attracted to me because she very often asks me to fuck her, but there's nothing to it. It's not mechanical, but it's...too vanilla. She's not a starfish, but there's A LOT of room for improvement. And it's not because she's not being pleased. I know my way around her body like the back of my hand; I can make her cum in under a minute. Rare is the day where I don't give her several orgasms. All said, I'd probably cum in my pants on the spot if she were waiting for me in lingerie or whispered in my ear that she wanted to suck me dry. I work really hard at being a model husband and just as hard at staying attractive (to be fair, so does she), but it feels like all work and no reward.

She often jokes that our stereotypical gender "needs" in the relationship are reversed. I'm a large, muscular, manly-man, but I am also hopelessly romantic and passionate. I've tried everything over the years to inspire her and only the most elaborate schemes (vacation, weekend getaways, etc.) elicit any response and even then I end up majorly disappointed. She won't even sext me because she says "I have no imagination and it's just weird." How am I supposed to work with that?

Make no mistake, this isn't a "woe is me" conversation. I couldn't be a more giving husband. I even do my fair share of the housework.
Click to expand...

Well, if she doesn't have it in her... she doesn't have it in her. If you know what I mean.
 
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Grabbit Allworth

Grabbit Allworth

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Foler said:
Mario Speedwagon Mario Speedwagon may be right. Time to spice it up with butt stuff? I mean it seems like you're beating around the bush a lot here. Get to the point. You said the sex is vanilla. So it's just boring ole missionary/doggy? Take some initiative, grab her ass in public, put a finger in her ass while you're eating her bag, maybe hold her neck while you fuck her. That shit will slowly evolve into sticking toys in each others butts and eating ass. It'll be glorious. But, alas Rome wasn't built in a day and you won't be tonguing her anus right off the bat. Work your way up, start with light bondage before you break out the restraints and whips.
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Hyperbole? Regardless, I'll bite.

She hates it when I touch her in public -- "Someone will see you." I occasionally do stick my finger in her ass while eating her pussy or fingering her and she, very obviously, just tolerates it.

I suppose I should be thankful that she does enjoy being held down and lightly choked.
 
Mario Speedwagon

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lmao this guy is literally posting that he has a god-like physique, hot wife, treats her great, makes her cum in under a minute and multiple times a day.

Just waiting for the post where he casually mentions his Lamborghini and the fact that he is literally Tom Brady.
 
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Foler

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Grabbit Allworth said:
Hyperbole? Regardless, I'll bite.

She hates it when I touch her in public -- "Someone will see you." I occasionally do stick my finger in her ass while eating her pussy or fingering her and she, very obviously, just tolerates it.

I suppose I should be thankful that she does enjoy being held down and lightly choked.
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Meh I dunno bro. I can't help you. I don't know how to break women like horses. Usually unless they're stuck up church girls they love a good ass grab.

Sounds like she is just boring as fuck in the sex Dept. How did you not figure this out before marriage...
 
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Grabbit Allworth

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My wife is a 7 and definitely hot for being 40ish, but not 'picturesque -hot.' She's multi-orgasmic, but I honestly have no idea if it's more her or me. Likely just the way she's built, but I know which buttons to push. I do treat her exceptionally well and my body is easily provable with a couple pictures if I so chose.


Choke on a dick, faggot.
 
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Foler

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Mario Speedwagon said:
lmao this guy is literally posting that he has a god-like physique, hot wife, treats her great, makes her cum in under a minute and multiple times a day.

Just waiting for the post where he casually mentions his Lamborghini and the fact that he is literally Tom Brady.
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Never said my physique was god-like and we're not married. Rest is true tho.
 
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Khane

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lurkingdirk said:
He also has a 27 inch cock.
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Well, time to find a 35" uterus. What's the problem here? Have you looked into reddit for interplanetary dating? Scientology has to have come up with something by now.
 
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Foler

The_Black_Log Foler

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Grabbit Allworth said:
My wife is a 7 and definitely hot for being 40ish, but not 'picturesque -hot.' She's multi-orgasmic, but I honestly have no idea if it's more her or me. Likely just the way she's built, but I know which buttons to push. I do treat her exceptionally well and my body is easily provable with a couple pictures if I so chose.


Choke on a dick, faggot.
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I say we take this up in a_skeleton_03's dick thread. Them be fighting words.

Srsly tho either tell her what's up, put up with it, try to convince her to start swinging with you or get a divorce. Those are your options.
 
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Srathor

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Sounds like you need to throw a wrench into things. If you do decide to fuck up your life, please document it here. You will entertain dozens, and could find out the only spice you truly needed was to set your own life on fire and chronicle it for a bunch of jaded assholes to chortle over it.

Please if you can, use some pictures and video. Jhonny54 was good to us, pay him back and give us a good show.
 
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Khane

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Grabbit Allworth said:
Which is my fundamental concern and the very real problem I am wrestling with. Deal with it or go? Part of me says I am just being a giant faggot.
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Joking aside you made a vow. That's the real difference between the men in this thread that are married, and the single men in this thread like me. It was already said and you also acknowledged it. What type of man do you want to be?

The interesting thing is I've never ended a serious relationship over physical aspects. It's always been financial. Pretty much every woman I've ever dated had a higher libido than I do. So in that regard ending a marriage over it seems frivolous, because that's never been a problem I've faced. Meanwhile the men here who talk about women who are slobs, lazy, and don't pull their own weight? That I understand completely. Yet those guys don't seem as inclined to leave the situation when I find that to be a much more compelling reason to dump someone.

By all accounts you're married to an adult with a sense of responsibility and ambition. She's just not as virile as you. Some of the men here are married to children who expect to be taken care of without taking any responsibility for being a parent other than "It's a convenient excuse to be lazy, so let's have more so I can keep treating him like a sucker".

Lack of physical attraction or reciprocity is a real problem and I'm not trying to diminish it, but it seems easier to work through than trying to coach your wife into growing the fuck up. And you will probably find that if you falter, cheat, and end up with that hot 20 something, you have nothing in common with her other than sex.

Sexual release is easy to find. You can jerk off. Real, tangible compatibility is not.
 
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lurkingdirk

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Don't cheat. I'm sorry if it offends some people here, but if you cheat, you're a douche. A low life. Talk to her, tell her how seriously you are taking this, tell her that the situation made you consider breaking your vows. That will get her attention.

Then, work on it together. Don't expect her to become an awesome, kinky lay right now. Work on it. Your relationship is worth it. Think about how much you have invested in it, and then do the right thing.

That's my $0.02.
 
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Grabbit Allworth

Grabbit Allworth

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Khane said:
Joking aside you made a vow. That's the real difference between the men in this thread that are married, and the single men in this thread like me. It was already said and you also acknowledged it. What type of man do you want to be?

The interesting thing is I've never ended a serious relationship over physical aspects. It's always been financial. Pretty much every woman I've ever dated had a higher libido than I do. So in that regard ending a marriage over it seems frivolous, because that's never been a problem I've faced. Meanwhile the men here who talk about women who are slobs, lazy, and don't pull their own weight? That I understand completely. Yet those guys don't seem as inclined to leave the situation when I find that to be a much more compelling reason to dump someone.

By all accounts you're married to an adult with a sense of responsibility and ambition. She's just not as virile as you. Some of the men here are married to children who expect to be taken care of without taking any responsibility for being a parent other than "It's a convenient excuse to be lazy, so let's have more so I can keep treating him like a sucker".

Lack of physical attraction or reciprocity is a real problem and I'm not trying to diminish it, but it seems easier to work through than trying to coach your wife into growing the fuck up. And you will probably find that if you falter, cheat, and end up with that hot 20 something, you have nothing in common with her other than sex.

Sexual release is easy to find. You can jerk off. Real, tangible compatibility is not.
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I appreciate the thoughtful response.

It sounds like our experiences in relationships couldn't be more different. In truth, I really don't have much to complain about with my wife other than what's already been stated. I know my singular complaint seems superficial, but vanilla sex is really not the issue. It's a lack-of-intimacy issue. Most of the time, my household feels like I'm living with a really good friend with benefits rather than a loving wife. That's a tough pill to swallow for someone wired like I am. It hasn't always been that way or I wouldn't have married her, but it has been for as long as I can remember.

Much of why I have stayed as long as I have (apart from truly being in-love with her) is the fact that she is a truly great woman. I'd be hard pressed to find a similarly drama-free, good person and I know it. You're also right that I have nothing in common with the 20ish hottie (or any young women, really). In fact, I find her incredibly annoying. Every time I see her she wants to talk to me about getting drunk and partying. Ya, no, that's not me.

What scares me is being approached by a moderately attractive, confident, expressive woman of my age. That'd really put me to the test.

I appreciate all the feedback. It's given me a lot to think about. Maybe I just needed a new place to vent my bi-annual frustrations. I'm not entirely sure it was worth it because making myself this vulnerable (even to a bunch of anonymous guys) felt super fucking emasculating.
 
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