Marriage and the Power of Divorce

Hoss · Nov 1, 2022

Tarrant said:
well him not being enrolled in school is one, but there may be stipulations in the divorce as well. Having primary custody and cutting off contact is akin to kidnapping in some states as well.

That's only him not being enrolled in that one magnet school which is usually by invitation only. (BTW, magnet not magnate ... at least around here). Surely he's enrolled in the regular school if he's not there. The School District wants to get their money.

But that's why I asked what he thinks is going on.

TomServo · Nov 1, 2022

Mrs. Gravy said:
Steady is moving in with me.
Into the house that Gravy and I thought would be our forever home.
I have so much crap in it that needs relocation or tossed, I am feeling a bit overwhelmed. The accumulation of a life with Gravy...
I have told Steady that and he has been supportive and reassuring.
It is just a bit weird.
I am sure those of you who have been widowed and some of you who have been divorced can likely relate.
Weird.
Thanks, for reading, needed to get this off my wee chest.

Ain't nothing wee about your chest.

Tarrant · Nov 1, 2022

Hoss said:
That's only him not being enrolled in that one magnet school which is usually by invitation only. (BTW, magnet not magnate ... at least around here). Surely he's enrolled in the regular school if he's not there. The School District wants to get their money.

But that's why I asked what he thinks is going on.

She still needs to provide proof when requested

Cad · Nov 2, 2022

Tarrant said:
She still needs to provide proof when requested

And actually respond to co-parenting messages.

Omi43221 · Nov 3, 2022

Hoss said:
I don't understand what happened that she'd needed to come back to court. Did she move? Was it in the divorce decree that she had to enroll him at that school?

The removing him from that particular school isn't the problem it's refusing to giving me any information about my child.

Omi43221 · Nov 3, 2022

I feel for her actually, it's obvious she is having mental issues, but that doesn't mean I have to put up with this. I can't imagine what she is going to say to someone to justify it.

moonarchia · Nov 3, 2022

Omi43221 said:
I feel for her actually, it's obvious she is having mental issues, but that doesn't mean I have to put up with this. I can't imagine what she is going to say to someone to justify it.

Uhh, have you had the cops do a wellness check to make sure they are all right?

Tarrant · Nov 3, 2022

moonarchia said:
Uhh, have you had the cops do a wellness check to make sure they are all right?

chiming I’m here, that’s assuming cops will do that. Sometimes they won’t and you literally need to get a lawyer to file a motion to have it done in these cases.

child welfare isn’t the cut and dry many think it is. The whole systems messed up.

moonarchia · Nov 3, 2022

Tarrant said:
chiming I’m here, that’s assuming cops will do that. Sometimes they won’t and you literally need to get a lawyer to file a motion to have it done in these cases.

child welfare isn’t the cut and dry many think it is. The whole systems messed up.

Friends or family in the area? Track down his cell phone? Point isn't to barge in or disrupt anything, just a visual check that they are in fact alive and well. Can be done from a discreet distance.

ToeMissile · Nov 3, 2022

moonarchia said:
Friends or family in the area? Track down his cell phone? Point isn't to barge in or disrupt anything, just a visual check that they are in fact alive and well. Can be done from a discreet distance.

I don’t know the details or if it’s all states, but as an assistant principal at a public high school does a number of wellness checks every year. Might be worth looking into.

Hoss · Nov 3, 2022

Tarrant said:
chiming I’m here, that’s assuming cops will do that. Sometimes they won’t and you literally need to get a lawyer to file a motion to have it done in these cases.

child welfare isn’t the cut and dry many think it is. The whole systems messed up.

if they don't want to do a wellness check then how about a missing persons report?

Omi43221 · Nov 4, 2022

moonarchia said:
Uhh, have you had the cops do a wellness check to make sure they are all right?

So until recently I lived out of state. I recently moved back and live 25 minutes away. I went and knocked on her door and she refused to talk to me after I identified myself. But yes I have checked a few times to make sure she hasn't absconded with my kid. I just need to work through the system at this point. It's cut and dry that she is in the wrong.

moonarchia · Nov 5, 2022

Omi43221 said:
So until recently I lived out of state. I recently moved back and live 25 minutes away. I went and knocked on her door and she refused to talk to me after I identified myself. But yes I have checked a few times to make sure she hasn't absconded with my kid. I just need to work through the system at this point. It's cut and dry that she is in the wrong.

Ok, good then. Well, not good, but not a catastrophe.

Gavinmad · Nov 28, 2022

Omi43221 said:
So until recently I lived out of state. I recently moved back and live 25 minutes away. I went and knocked on her door and she refused to talk to me after I identified myself. But yes I have checked a few times to make sure she hasn't absconded with my kid. I just need to work through the system at this point. It's cut and dry that she is in the wrong.

So...uh...what happened with this?

Oblio · Dec 9, 2022

Omi43221 · Dec 13, 2022

Gavinmad said:
So...uh...what happened with this?

So EX didn't respond to letter from Lawyer. We have a court date for contempt but she needs to be served notice of the court date. For this type of case in our jurisdiction it has to be presented to defendant by a process server. She never answers her door and I'm not sure she has a job. So unless I can figure out a way to get her served the case will be dismissed. I asked the lawyer and they suggested only option was to hire PI to find out where she works. Which I'm not sure she does.

The obvious question how does she support herself. I believe she is guilting an older aunt of hers to give her her social security check.

So yeah I'm currently stuck with no obvious solution.

Gavinmad · Dec 13, 2022

Omi43221 said:
So yeah I'm currently stuck with no obvious solution.

Well if she's avoiding the server and taking a sledge to her front door isn't an option, you can ask the court for permission to serve her via the local paper. What state do you live in?

TJT · Dec 14, 2022

I am pretty sure you can't just avoid the process server indefinitely as a workaround to never showing up to court for anything.

I'd go to the aunt she's grifting.

TJT · Dec 14, 2022

Omi43221 said:
Well I feel like venting,

After my divorce my ex bad mouthed me/ played the victim to the point I had no contact with both my son's. Eventually oldest caught on to the crazy and decided to come live with me. Oldest son now describes coming to live with me as easily the best decision of his life. We have a great relationship and he's in the air force now getting money for college and experience as a network engineer. In short he's killing it. One down. Younger son goes to one of the top magnate schools in the state and gets As.The little contact we did have, he had expressed to me he wanted to stay with his mother. Felt I had to respect his wishes and just monitor the situation as much as possible. So at the beginning of the school year the teachers usually send me an email with info for parents and what the curriculum is. I received nothing so called the school the next day. They informed me my son was no longer enrolled in the school. I call/text my ex on what is going on and she will not reply anymore. I find lawyer, we send my ex a letter that she is in contempt of state law and so far she hasn't responded. Now I'm waiting for contempt of court proceedings to complete.

Irritating as fuck

Not to push shit onto your older son but would the mother be more likely to respond to him?

Captain Suave · Dec 14, 2022

Gavinmad said:
Well if she's avoiding the server and taking a sledge to her front door isn't an option, you can ask the court for permission to serve her via the local paper. What state do you live in?

TJT said:
I am pretty sure you can't just avoid the process server indefinitely as a workaround to never showing up to court for anything.

I'd go to the aunt she's grifting.

Yeah, you can't just hide to avoid lawsuits. The process server will give their "best effort" and then the court will figure out how to proceed from there. Certified mail, posting on the door of residence, local paper, etc.

Link pertains to debt collection, but same process applies.

What Happens If a Process Server Can't Serve You? | SoloSuit Blog

When a debt collector files a lawsuit against a consumer, there is a legal requirement applicable in courts across the country that the consumer be served with a notice of the impending legal action. This requirement is in place to ensure that the consumer (known as the defendant in the lawsuit)...

www.solosuit.com

Omi43221 said:
they suggested only option was to hire PI to find out where she works

If you hired a PI they could probably just sit outside the door until she has to buy groceries or answer the door for a delivery.

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What Happens If a Process Server Can't Serve You? | SoloSuit Blog