Marriage and the Power of Divorce

  • Guest, it's time once again for the hotly contested and exciting FoH Asshat Tournament!



    Go here and fill out your bracket!
    Who's been the biggest Asshat in the last year? Once again, only you can decide!

Khane

Got something right about marriage
19,787
13,294
I remember inviting a woman I was seeing over for dinner and a movie for the third date a few years back. I popped on The Princess Bride and she immediately started talking about how stupid it was. We didn't make it 15 minutes in before I couldn't listen to her complaining anymore. Figured she was just dropping really annoying hints to shut it off and fuck her so I shut it off and started making out with her. Then she didn't want to take it any further than that either.

Needless to say I had to beat her to def wif 'er own shoes.
 
  • 3Worf
  • 1Like
Reactions: 3 users

Mrs. Gravy

Quite Saucy
<QUITE SAUCY>
1,696
2,173
I remember inviting a woman I was seeing over for dinner and a movie for the third date a few years back. I popped on The Princess Bride and she immediately started talking about how stupid it was. We didn't make it 15 minutes in before I couldn't listen to her complaining anymore. Figured she was just dropping really annoying hints to shut it off and fuck her so I shut it off and started making out with her. Then she didn't want to take it any further than that either.

Needless to say I had to beat her to def wif 'er own shoes.
Inconceivable!! (Not the def by shoe, with that, I'm fine...)
 
  • 1Worf
Reactions: 1 user

Tarrant

<Prior Amod>
15,516
8,969
Another story. This happened either March of 2016 or March of 2017, I don't remember which. This is more of a cautionary tale.

I matched with this MILF on Tinder who was 48 and and a health fanatic with a cute body and nice skin. She lived in San Bruno, I lived in Oakland at the time.

We match one evening at like 5 pm. We chat briefly. I ask if she wants to go out sometime, she replies back let's go out tonight. It was a Friday or a Saturday, I was tired, and I had tentative plans to meet up with a friend. So I suggest we go out another night. She responds back "Let's go out tonight or never at all."

So in my mind I'm like "alright, fine, she's eager, let's go with it." San Bruno is like 35-40 minutes away from Oakland depending on traffic. She was cute, I figured if she was this willing to meet up, she probably wants to fuck. On top of that, she asked me to meet her at her HOUSE first, which is almost always a sign, when a woman hasn't even met you yet, she's probably looking to get laid.

I drive to her house in San Bruno around 7. I text her I'm almost there and she's outside with this annoying yapper dog she has walking it.

Chat briefly, we go in her house, she feeds her dog, and we take Uber to a restaurant in Pacifica. Eat and drink there, then she asks me if I want to go bowling, so we go. We drink more there. Go back to her house, both of us are pretty buzzed, a little too much. Neither of us felt so great. We laid on the couch and watched tv. I still wanted to fuck her but I wasn't that worried about it, I more just wanted to sleep. We both go to bed.

Wake up the next morning with a mild hangover around 8 am. She said she's going for a hike with her dog and tells me to sleep in. I end up waking up around 11 AM, and she tells me she wants to get a shower and asks me if I want to help her. So I do, we both go in this big walk in shower stall she has, then we go back to her bed and have sex.

The rest of the day we ended up getting pho later and watched a movie. She says "I have an idea, let's go camping next weekend!

Begin cautionary tale here.

I say okay. We plan to go to camping for two nights in Mendocino. Next weekend comes, we go to the grocery store together, I bring my camping gear, she brings hers, and her annoying fucking dog. We load up in her SUV for the 3-4 hour trip up to Mendocino.

*Don't fucking travel with people you don't know.*

This woman and her dog could NOT have been more obnoxious. I'm the type of person where, usually, everyone around me says "Thank god you were on that trip with us all, you were the only one who wasn't arguing or getting all bent out of shape." I'm very patient and I don't get provoked easily.

From the minute we got there, I start putting my tent up, and she was like...nitpicking me for not putting the stakes in right or something. Then it was something else. Then it was something else. I didn't say anything about it and just let it be the first night and day. To further set the tone, it was fucking cold outside, and raining on and off. There was no sex to be had, because there's no way either of us were going to take our clothes off in that shit, even in the tent, not even a little.

I learned she fawned over her dog at all times, which was awful. Like constantly talking to it, etc.

Second day / night rolls around. Woman keeps making all these weird comments combined with the dog, the cold, everything else.

Mind you we're 3-4 hours away from home. 10 PM second night rolls around. She said like one more thing on top of everything else and I finally snapped and asked why she's been so angry and nitpicky the entire trip while I've been nothing but patient. We end up packing the tent up around 11 PM, in light rain, in 35-40 degree weather, and drive back to her place in San Bruno. Got there at like 2-3 AM, I was tired as fuck, and then made the trip back to Oakland and got there at like 5 AM.

Man I'm dumb sometimes.


Begin cautionary tale here.

Shoulda been inserted in that story way back in the beginning at "Lets go out tonight or never at all".
 
  • 2Solidarity
Reactions: 1 users

Jackie Treehorn

<Gold Donor>
2,759
6,372
I remember inviting a woman I was seeing over for dinner and a movie for the third date a few years back. I popped on The Princess Bride and she immediately started talking about how stupid it was. We didn't make it 15 minutes in before I couldn't listen to her complaining anymore. Figured she was just dropping really annoying hints to shut it off and fuck her so I shut it off and started making out with her. Then she didn't want to take it any further than that either.

Needless to say I had to beat her to def wif 'er own shoes.

I have another personal failure anecdote related to this.

Girl came over to my place I was really interested in. When I’m really interested in someone I hold off having sex or even pushing for anything if I’m really interested in dating them until quite a few dates in.

Third or fourth date, woman comes over. She says she wants to watch a movie. She puts on “In the Army Now” or whatever it is with Pauly Shore. Horrible fucking movie of course.

We proceed to watch all of it and she goes home.

A week later she tells me “I put on that shitty movie hoping we’d stop watching it and you’d at least make out with me.”
 
  • 6Worf
Reactions: 5 users

Khane

Got something right about marriage
19,787
13,294
Well... we all know what the Netflix date really means. It's the universal sex date.
 
  • 3Like
Reactions: 2 users

Soygen

The Dirty Dozen For the Price of One
<Nazi Janitors>
28,311
43,092
Needless to say I had to beat her to def wif 'er own shoes.

giphy.gif
 

Omi43221

Trakanon Raider
924
824
I went through a period of time when my wife had a lot of trouble getting off.

I found a hour long massage not touching anything specifically sexual, just getting close to those zones, then taking it REAL slow helped with that.

Have you tried this method, Noodle?

I also approve and was going to suggest this...at the very least she gets a good massage.
 

Gavinmad

Mr. Poopybutthole
42,271
50,241
A week later she tells me “I put on that shitty movie hoping we’d stop watching it and you’d at least make out with me.”

I hope you at least texted her back with something like 'Oh thank god I only badly misread the situation and wasnt into someone who likes Pauly Shore movies'
 
  • 1Worf
  • 1Like
Reactions: 1 users

Jackie Treehorn

<Gold Donor>
2,759
6,372
I hope you at least texted her back with something like 'Oh thank god I only badly misread the situation and wasnt into someone who likes Pauly Shore movies'

Funny enough — that was actually a point of contention. I actually really dug that woman and we dated for a decent time after that, she was a good person with a good job and fun to be around.

That said she had this weird shitty taste in movies to a certain extent. She also liked some good stuff, I.e. classic movies like Casablanca which I really appreciated in her, but then she hated The Big Lebowski and liked other garbage which at times made me question her.

She was a very adventurous eater and would try anything which was a big turn on for me. I hate it when women are picky eaters or vegan.
 
  • 1Solidarity
Reactions: 1 user

Omi43221

Trakanon Raider
924
824
I know i will not persuade anyone, but a healthy marriage and a life together with your partner (wife in this case) is possible. We have been together for 27 years now, survived many crises, our daughter is 19 now and live changes, but if you chose your partner because of the values she has and her intellect, her beliefs and not her penthouse hotness, you may make it. It also helps not to sleep around and see other women as a challenge. I have not been unfaithful to her ever, and she hasnt been either, so that helps. In her I found the family that I didnt really have with my own family. So, it may work for you either, just chose wisely and do not let your cock be your director.

In my experience, hot woman always have a bad character, it is the way life forms them, they expect to be queens and as they get older and lose their looks, they get bitchy and in their frustration, leash out at their partner first and everone else later. So, a 5 may be a better life partner then an 8, on the long run. What is funny is, that when my wife was 25 she was a 4 at most, but now that we have grown older, she is easily a 7 amongst her age group, because she never uses make up and lived healthily. To each their own.

So you are basically saying this :

 

Pops

Avatar of War Slayer
8,136
21,317
Another story. This happened either March of 2016 or March of 2017, I don't remember which. This is more of a cautionary tale.

I matched with this MILF on Tinder who was 48 and and a health fanatic with a cute body and nice skin. She lived in San Bruno, I lived in Oakland at the time.

We match one evening at like 5 pm. We chat briefly. I ask if she wants to go out sometime, she replies back let's go out tonight. It was a Friday or a Saturday, I was tired, and I had tentative plans to meet up with a friend. So I suggest we go out another night. She responds back "Let's go out tonight or never at all."

So in my mind I'm like "alright, fine, she's eager, let's go with it." San Bruno is like 35-40 minutes away from Oakland depending on traffic. She was cute, I figured if she was this willing to meet up, she probably wants to fuck. On top of that, she asked me to meet her at her HOUSE first, which is almost always a sign, when a woman hasn't even met you yet, she's probably looking to get laid.

I drive to her house in San Bruno around 7. I text her I'm almost there and she's outside with this annoying yapper dog she has walking it.

Chat briefly, we go in her house, she feeds her dog, and we take Uber to a restaurant in Pacifica. Eat and drink there, then she asks me if I want to go bowling, so we go. We drink more there. Go back to her house, both of us are pretty buzzed, a little too much. Neither of us felt so great. We laid on the couch and watched tv. I still wanted to fuck her but I wasn't that worried about it, I more just wanted to sleep. We both go to bed.

Wake up the next morning with a mild hangover around 8 am. She said she's going for a hike with her dog and tells me to sleep in. I end up waking up around 11 AM, and she tells me she wants to get a shower and asks me if I want to help her. So I do, we both go in this big walk in shower stall she has, then we go back to her bed and have sex.

The rest of the day we ended up getting pho later and watched a movie. She says "I have an idea, let's go camping next weekend!

Begin cautionary tale here.

I say okay. We plan to go to camping for two nights in Mendocino. Next weekend comes, we go to the grocery store together, I bring my camping gear, she brings hers, and her annoying fucking dog. We load up in her SUV for the 3-4 hour trip up to Mendocino.

*Don't fucking travel with people you don't know.*

This woman and her dog could NOT have been more obnoxious. I'm the type of person where, usually, everyone around me says "Thank god you were on that trip with us all, you were the only one who wasn't arguing or getting all bent out of shape." I'm very patient and I don't get provoked easily.

From the minute we got there, I start putting my tent up, and she was like...nitpicking me for not putting the stakes in right or something. Then it was something else. Then it was something else. I didn't say anything about it and just let it be the first night and day. To further set the tone, it was fucking cold outside, and raining on and off. There was no sex to be had, because there's no way either of us were going to take our clothes off in that shit, even in the tent, not even a little.

I learned she fawned over her dog at all times, which was awful. Like constantly talking to it, etc.

Second day / night rolls around. Woman keeps making all these weird comments combined with the dog, the cold, everything else.

Mind you we're 3-4 hours away from home. 10 PM second night rolls around. She said like one more thing on top of everything else and I finally snapped and asked why she's been so angry and nitpicky the entire trip while I've been nothing but patient. We end up packing the tent up around 11 PM, in light rain, in 35-40 degree weather, and drive back to her place in San Bruno. Got there at like 2-3 AM, I was tired as fuck, and then made the trip back to Oakland and got there at like 5 AM.

Man I'm dumb sometimes.
At least you got laid. But your first clue: "Let's go out tonight or never at all."

You responded to that shit, you got what you deserved.
 
  • 1Like
Reactions: 1 user