Parent Thread

Gurgeh

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My 2.5 year old weight 24 lbs, and that's a blessing for our backs... I can barely feel her when I carry her on my shoulders. Very convenient ! But she's also faster and more agile than all the other kids her age around us, and THAT is very inconvenient...
 

Vepil

Gamja
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My son turns 8 in September, we just had to do measurements for football and he was moved from the 2nd grade team to the 3rd. He just weighed in at 84.6lbs and is 4'8".
 

Rais

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Just became a father last week. Besides the lack of sleep and him pissing all over his mother and me, it has simply been amazing already. I thought for sure my marriage was about to end when our son did this amazing geyser of pee while she was in the bed unable to move due to the c section and I couldn't stop laughing. Only thing I can think of is if I had him in my 20s as opposed to 40.
 
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Quineloe

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I'm 6'6 and my older daughter is tiny, bottom 10% for her age, and the younger one is top 10%. They also were a whole pound apart on birthing weight.
 

Arative

Vyemm Raider
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Just became a father last week. Besides the lack of sleep and him pissing all over his mother and me, it has simply been amazing already. I thought for sure my marriage was about to end when our son did this amazing geyser of pee while she was in the bed unable to move due to the c section and I couldn't stop laughing. Only thing I can think of is if I had him in my 20s as opposed to 40.

My son actually shot a little pee in my wife's mouth, that's when she learned to cover him with the diaper. I laughed my ass off when that happened.
 

Tuco

I got Tuco'd!
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The worse we had was like 7-8 yrs ago we were at the lake (Houghton) with our friends during new years. Shit was frozen, but the lake was thawing and it had a layer of water on it. So of course the kids were all out there sliding around and getting wet from head to toe.

So they all came in and we took their coats and snow pants and threw them into the dryer for more wet fun in a few hours. So I check the dryer after 30 min or so and fuck me, one of the kids had a pocket full of crayons. Fucking entire dryer, filter was covered with wax. And of course my kid was the one with the crayons.

Second was a few years before that, my kids played in the basement all the time, we had a place set up for them there with all kinds of shit to play with, anyway, I go down there after hearing the "silence" for too long and find them both on the other side of the basement, the storage area, with an open can of house paint, painting our fucking fridge and freezer that was down there. Plus the puddle of paint on the concrete floor.
I know it's 8 years too late but take a blow dryer or heat gun to melted crayons and then wipe it like with a clothe or something. Worked great last year when our boy melted a crayon into my car's upholstery
 

Tuco

I got Tuco'd!
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help my 7 mo learned to crawl and is putting everything his mouth.

he won't survive the next week for sure.
 

lurkingdirk

AssHat Taint
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help my 7 mo learned to crawl and is putting everything his mouth.

he won't survive the next week for sure.

Yeah, this is one of many things about parenting that is both awesome and crappy. You want your kids to learn and advance, but it's bitter sweet when they do because they start to rely less and less on you. One big one I remember each time was "Hooray, my kid can walk!" while simultaneously thinking "Oh, Shit, my kid can walk!"
 

Gurgeh

Silver Baronet of the Realm
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My 2.5 year old loves lemon slices. Hes an oddball.
Same with my daughter, she can only drink water or water with lemon juice (not like I'm complaining she doesn't want anything sweet...), and when she was like 6 months old, I was trying to make a joke by getting her to eat a lemon slice, and... she ate it, and liked it. The joke was on me... She actually pulled the same shit on me a couple of weeks ago, since won't drink anything but water, I jokingly offered her beer, and she actually drank a little bit and asked "more"... Joke on me again...
 

Kalaar kururuc

Grumpy old man
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Same with my daughter, she can only drink water or water with lemon juice (not like I'm complaining she doesn't want anything sweet...), and when she was like 6 months old, I was trying to make a joke by getting her to eat a lemon slice, and... she ate it, and liked it. The joke was on me... She actually pulled the same shit on me a couple of weeks ago, since won't drink anything but water, I jokingly offered her beer, and she actually drank a little bit and asked "more"... Joke on me again...

Lemon slices happened same way with mine, he likes lime slices too, for the same reason, me thinking I'm funny.

Kid was having a nap on sofa today, me and the missus were watching The Boys. Didn't notice he'd woken up, until he sat bolt upright said "that's funny!" and laughed his ass off. Someone had just been beaten to a pulp, I may have raised a monster.
 

iannis

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Same with my daughter, she can only drink water or water with lemon juice (not like I'm complaining she doesn't want anything sweet...), and when she was like 6 months old, I was trying to make a joke by getting her to eat a lemon slice, and... she ate it, and liked it. The joke was on me... She actually pulled the same shit on me a couple of weeks ago, since won't drink anything but water, I jokingly offered her beer, and she actually drank a little bit and asked "more"... Joke on me again...
beer is good stuff though. Too much of it is bad obviously.

Get her a little child sized stein! And teach her beerhall songs!
 

Gurgeh

Silver Baronet of the Realm
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beer is good stuff though. Too much of it is bad obviously.

Get her a little child sized stein! And teach her beerhall songs!
Not socialy acceptable, at all, unfortunately. 1 year old addicted to soda, no problem, but giving 2cl of a 2° beer, CALL THE POLICE. That being said, I don't think it's nearly as taboo as in the US, when I was a kid we would be allowed to drink small quantities of it at family reunions, and even nowadays, when I gave a little beer to my 2 year old, no one blinked, but I'd still be in trouble if my daughter randomly started to ask for a beer at daycare.

Thinking about it, as various kinds of beers were used in Europe as a mean to conserve and transport water, there is absolutely no doubt that that kids had to drink it, and those negatively impacted must have disappeared over the few milleniums that it lasted... Fuck, even my father probably had wine in his baby bottle milk. My grandmother would take her most unconvincing voice and say "I don't think he had wine in his milk", so I'm probably the first generation of French people that did not regularly drink alcohol as little kid.
 
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Noodleface

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Took my 4 year old to the theater for the first time today. It's stuff like this you really appreciate how much the kids grow up.

It was nice just taking him out with us and leaving the young one with a sitter. We always do everything altogether so it was nice having a little night out with the oldest
 

iannis

Musty Nester
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That's surprising, it really is. Even I got beer as a little kid. I'm like 2.5 gen german.

I did have a little tiny stein.
 
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