The Hobbit: The Battle of the Five Armies (2014)

The edit is a lot better than the movies, that's for sure but there's still some goofy shit like the very first scene still having "60 years earlier..." or Smaug being covered in gold despite cutting the dumb molten gold scene. Why not just cut to after he slings all that shit off? Seems like easy fixes considering how much work was already put into it.

Drinsic_sl said:

The edit is a lot better than the movies, that's for sure but there's still some goofy shit like the very first scene still having "60 years earlier..." or Smaug being covered in gold despite cutting the dumb molten gold scene. Why not just cut to after he slings all that shit off? Seems like easy fixes considering how much work was already put into it.

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well he should have had gold on him all the time...right? like wasn't that part of his description that he slept on the crap so long it fused into him?

xadion_sl said:

well he should have had gold on him all the time...right? like wasn't that part of his description that he slept on the crap so long it fused into him?

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He had a dragon sized chain-mail vest made of diamonds.

oh yeah that's how it happened!

This is up...

Creslin_sl said:

Maybe, galadriel was a first born elf wasn't she? Those guys wrecked. She probably rivaled Gandalf. The who is more powerful than sauron argument is kinda irrelevant since there is a pretty long list. Just none of them were particularly interested in fighting the humans war entirely for them, which is a point tolkien makes a few times. Elronds power was all ring, he was just a half elf who never even went to valinor, glorfindel was probably stronger than elrond when you take away the ring, also glorfindel kills a balrog and seems pretty alive.. tho maybe it had a delayed effect that caused PJ to cut his character...

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The Glorfindel who killed a Balrog isn't necessarily the same Glorfindel who lived in Rivendell. Tolkien used the same name without thinking about it for different people, but once he realised he'd done it (some time after publication of LotR) he considered making them the same elf.

aychamo_aycono_sl said:

^^ Is that saying Glorfindel is Gandalf reincarnated?

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No Glorfindel fought his Balrog in the First Age. Glorfindel may later have been sent back to Middle Earth at the same time as the wizards first arrived in the Third Age, but as a companion to them.

IIRC Tolkien had made some notes about it once he realised he'd used the same name twice and it appealed to him to make them the same person, but he hadn't decided one way or the other.

Just rented it. Total piece of shit.

The best thing about this movie I just recently found...


I'm usually one to be into soundtracks and/or movies that release a major single to accompany the movie but when I stumbled across it, I actually felt like the everything "belonged" if that makes much sense? It's just a shame the Hobbit movies fell short but I don't hate them as much as others as The Hobbit is children's book peg trying to hit into an epic shaped hole. To me, PJ attempted to give nods the the lightheartedness of The Hobbit but instead it just spoiled his epic. Not to mention it appeared as if he asked George Lucas to write his love scene dialogue which shouldn't have been in there to begin with...

I could complain all day long and after watching the LOTR marathon yesterday, it makes me sad The Hobbit was so frustrating but i'm glad we have it. I haven't watched any of the EE's so i'm not sure if that will making anything better.

So I finally watched all of the hobbit movies for the first time, all 3 extended editions in a row. Overall it felt like a decent TV show/miniseries. Having read the book I know there was a lot of BS added, most of it was bad or at least unnecessary but some of it was OK. The EEs definitely have an episodic feel to them, travel a bit then set piece, travel a bit then set piece. Only a few places where they really divide the action.

I don't feel strongly about the trilogy one way or another, it was OK. Certain parts were odd to me - like the Goblin King. If you're going to 'epicify' the storyline, just do it. Felt very weird to have children's tale/song callbacks surrounded by beheadings and dismemberment. Prequel disease, I guess. About the best I can say was that seeing all the places was cool. You don't really see much of the North/East/Dwarves in LotR so it was neat. This and the acting probably offset some of the more terrible bits for me. If I didn't care at all about Middle Earth or hated fantasy I would have had a lesser opinion of it.

I would have probably been disappointed seeing the cut down version in theaters if I was really hyped about it. Also, lol @ Necromancer stuff. Just nerd service 'AND THEN ELROND FIGHTS THE GHOSTS TOO AWW YEA THATS AWESOME!!!!'

The only one worth watching, IMO: The Hobbit (Peter Jackson, 2012-2014) - The Tolkien Edit.
99% Legotard free, among other things.

The EE of BotFA was far better than the TE. I could only shrug in disbelief at some of the cuts. The movie is much more cohesive and better paced as a result of many of the additions, most of which were excellent. They even seem to have fixed the wacky CGI Dain. Why they left a lot of this stuff cut so we could spend all sorts of time with endless Legolas stunts, oh, and Alfred - who may be the worst invented character in a book-to-film adaptation ever - is beyond me. It's definitely worth checking out if you didn't hate the TE.

Dain kills azog irl

Well I finally watched this today.

To explain, I love the LOTR trilogy. It's one of the best cinema going periods of my life, getting to watch those three films. But with the Hobbit films I quickly lost interest. I did go and see the first 2 in the cinema. But by the time 'battle of the 5 armies' came out I wasn't even going to bother. Which is just a great shame really.

The Hobbit trilogy suffered from so many things. There's been much debate on these here pages so I don't need to go into it much. One thing that stood out as I'm watching the film, I keep saying ( out loud a few times ) "I don't care about any of these characters" there was simply so little connection.

I sort of liked the Bowman guy, but did I feel any great connection with say: the people of Laketown. There's footage of them preparing themselves to go into the battle, me = yawn.

And why did the main party of Dwarfs have to look like comedy characters?? and now they're in battle we're supposed to take them serious. A few of them had a more serious human look, the ones that had a bit more of a fleshed out character story. But then the derpy looking ones, I actually figured out what they looked like after. They looked like minor characters out of the Asterix books, just some guy that Asterix chats to for a bit, appears in 7-8 frames, so needs a decent design and look, and then we're done with him.

But definitely not the look for a character that we're supposed to be invested in for 3 major feature films.

So watching the film was just a big 'lets get it out of the way' experience, watch a long drawn out battle. Some of the fighting was good, but the stuff from the LOTR trilogy felt more real. This had too much camera in close, orc steps in from left of frame 'swoosh' he's dead, orc steps in from right of frame 'swoosh' he's dead.

There was a few moments that did work quite well, I did like the ending, cutting back to old Bilbo at the moment when Gandolf arrives and knocks on the door.

Oh and oddly the moment when 'Kate from Lost' was in deep sorrow over the dwarf that she'd loved having died. The Elf king said a real good bit of dialogue about it hurts so much because it was real. That scene stood out as being really good despite me not having too much interest in the dwarf / elf love story.

Just too damn much CGI, "lets do like Lucas did for the battle droid verses Gungan battle."

Ah that's about it. Don't feel like writing more. . . but I did decide that right now I'm going to watch my Blu-Ray of Fury Road again to restore some balance.

Gamma Rays_sl said:

Oh and oddly the moment when 'Kate from Lost' was in deep sorrow over the dwarf that she'd loved having died. The Elf king said a real good bit of dialogue about it hurts so much because it was real. That scene stood out as being really good despite me not having too much interest in the dwarf / elf love story.

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Really? I like the Hobbit movies more than most people, and I thought this was one of the most cringeworthy moments in all three films. That dialogue felt like fanfic written by a high school kid whose favorite fantasy series is Eragon.

But honestly, this was the best thing to come out of the movies.

My mind has already erased the dwarven silliness and godmode-Legolas.

Everything with Smaug was perfect. Riddles in the Dark = perfect. None of the rest happened.

(Though Galadriel fucking up the Necromancer was pretty damn cool. She was pretty much exactly how I remembered her in the RTS video game Battle for Middle Earth II)

The song is orgasmic.