spronk
FPS noob
- 22,623
- 25,677
Saw this today, I thought going in "there's no way it can be as bad as people are saying, it'll probably just be ok".
nah, its fucking bad. Its The Last Jedi of the predator franchise, which isn't saying much I admit. The only possible explanation I can think of is that Shane Black has an autistic/retarded kid and made this movie to show him that autistic people can be heroes too. Thats the only possible reason why the story is so goofy as fuck.
There is 1 good action scene a little past the halfway point, good fun for any Predator fan. Other than that the movie is shitty. Every 20 mins you get a new story beat and you just think to yourself "... wait, they aren't this way, are they? Oh god no... don't do this... no... no"
This isn't an action movie, this is almost like a kids action/comedy movie that is somehow rated PG. Its just so bizarre. Its like someone wanted to make a Harry Potter, Goosebumps, ET, or something but had to force the Predator into his movie. There is such weird bizarre "cute" humor sprinkled everywhere that makes no sense, including even the Predator being a comedian.
Don't bother watching in theaters, total waste of time. Maybe at home fast forwarding through all the boring ass shit, which is a lot.
Really bad casting too, the main lead and Olivia Munn are awful, awful, awful. Thomas Jane and Trevante Rhodes (guy who looks like 50 Cent) are extremely charming and should have been the leads with a lot fewer other characters.
Spoilers for what happens in the whole movie so you can save 2 hours
nah, its fucking bad. Its The Last Jedi of the predator franchise, which isn't saying much I admit. The only possible explanation I can think of is that Shane Black has an autistic/retarded kid and made this movie to show him that autistic people can be heroes too. Thats the only possible reason why the story is so goofy as fuck.
There is 1 good action scene a little past the halfway point, good fun for any Predator fan. Other than that the movie is shitty. Every 20 mins you get a new story beat and you just think to yourself "... wait, they aren't this way, are they? Oh god no... don't do this... no... no"
This isn't an action movie, this is almost like a kids action/comedy movie that is somehow rated PG. Its just so bizarre. Its like someone wanted to make a Harry Potter, Goosebumps, ET, or something but had to force the Predator into his movie. There is such weird bizarre "cute" humor sprinkled everywhere that makes no sense, including even the Predator being a comedian.
Don't bother watching in theaters, total waste of time. Maybe at home fast forwarding through all the boring ass shit, which is a lot.
Really bad casting too, the main lead and Olivia Munn are awful, awful, awful. Thomas Jane and Trevante Rhodes (guy who looks like 50 Cent) are extremely charming and should have been the leads with a lot fewer other characters.
Spoilers for what happens in the whole movie so you can save 2 hours
2 predator ships are fighting in space, one opens a warp gate to earth and crashes in the middle of a drug cartel/US sniper mission, which is where our hero is. Our hero knocks the predator unconscious and steals his weapon and cloaking marble and mails it to his hometown, where his ex(?)wife and son live, who is an 8 year old with aspergers. We spend some time with the kid doing spergy shit.
Sterling Brown leads a US govt team that takes the predator to a research lab, where they bring in Olivia Munn who is a biology specialist to study it. They also capture our hero and interview him and send him on a bus to the mental hospital or something, the other passengers are our cast who are all mental patient soldiers.
The second predator gets to Earth and starts hunting the first predator, he unleashes two predator dogs to track him.
They all end up at the kids school at night on Halloween, where the big predator ends up killing the first predator and rips out his spine. He wants something on the first predators ship.
Sterling Brown does an exposition dump where he somehow mysteriously knows that the predators are coming to Earth more because our species is gonna go extinct soon due to global warming (uhhhh.... ok) and they harvest "the best of us" DNA to improve themselves, and he thinks eventually they will move into Earth after we wipe ourselves out because they like hot planets. Its a 5 minute "HOW THE FUCK DO YOU KNOW THIS SHIT" retarded ass scene.
They go to the predators ship, all our humans fight each other and then super predator starts taking people out and blows up the ship. He then informs our hero that he will get a 8 minute headstart and he is going to take a little predator break and hunt everyone and take his DNA as a prize.
Blah blah fighting fight then we find out he wants the little kids DNA because apparently having aspergers makes you a superior human being. Thats right, the next generation of predators is going to self-retard themselves.
Olivia Munn and the kid and their new predator dog pet team up to kill the super predator, then we find out the first predator brought a super weapon to help humans fight the predator race. Not something that'll solve global warming, a cyber suit with weapons.
the end
Sterling Brown leads a US govt team that takes the predator to a research lab, where they bring in Olivia Munn who is a biology specialist to study it. They also capture our hero and interview him and send him on a bus to the mental hospital or something, the other passengers are our cast who are all mental patient soldiers.
The second predator gets to Earth and starts hunting the first predator, he unleashes two predator dogs to track him.
They all end up at the kids school at night on Halloween, where the big predator ends up killing the first predator and rips out his spine. He wants something on the first predators ship.
Sterling Brown does an exposition dump where he somehow mysteriously knows that the predators are coming to Earth more because our species is gonna go extinct soon due to global warming (uhhhh.... ok) and they harvest "the best of us" DNA to improve themselves, and he thinks eventually they will move into Earth after we wipe ourselves out because they like hot planets. Its a 5 minute "HOW THE FUCK DO YOU KNOW THIS SHIT" retarded ass scene.
They go to the predators ship, all our humans fight each other and then super predator starts taking people out and blows up the ship. He then informs our hero that he will get a 8 minute headstart and he is going to take a little predator break and hunt everyone and take his DNA as a prize.
Blah blah fighting fight then we find out he wants the little kids DNA because apparently having aspergers makes you a superior human being. Thats right, the next generation of predators is going to self-retard themselves.
Olivia Munn and the kid and their new predator dog pet team up to kill the super predator, then we find out the first predator brought a super weapon to help humans fight the predator race. Not something that'll solve global warming, a cyber suit with weapons.
the end
Last edited:
- 8
- 7
- 2
