What tickles your pickle

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Voyce

Shit Lord Supreme
<Donor>
6,959
21,813
Is that reference to a porn video of a couple having sex ontop of a dead bear? because no I did not do that.

I want to domesticate my bears and teach them to eat useless people, but that wouldn't be healthy for the bears, to many empty calories.
 

Haus

<Silver Donator>
10,941
41,331
Picked up some peaches today, local markets finally getting the peachs in that I like. Freestone, just the right texture, "Summer flame" variety. And the pits sink in a glass of water, meaning around a 70% chance I can finally germinate and plant some so I can stop playing "Peach Roulette" at the grocery store every year in peach season.
 

KurganAU

<Gold Donor>
246
276
Walking into an EBGames and seeing multiple copies of Anthem priced at $5

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More icing on the cake of just how bad Bioware dropped the ball.
 

Bandwagon

Kolohe
<Silver Donator>
22,495
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Woman drank a bit much tonight and is in a fucking coma, snoring at 200 decibels. Shook her, shook the bed, played 30 seconds of "Enter Sandman", slammed the window shut and called the dog up on the bed. Nothing made her skip more than one snore.

Just floated a 3 second ass trumpet with a real enthusiastic push-assist that I even scared myself with. I WAS going to say that I just solved the problem with my asshole, but she started snoring again while I was typing this story. Pickle still partly tickled.
 

Hoss

Make America's Team Great Again
<Gold Donor>
25,425
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Company we're working for is supposed to pay for our time in quarantine when returning from overseas. They tried to weasel their way out by claiming the CDC never said we had to self quarantine when coming home. The current CDC website doesn't say anything about that. Apparently my company has been fighting this for over a month. They just told me about it and I was like "Let me introduce you to my little friend the wayback mahcine". Boom, right there, when I got back, the CDC website listed that country as a level 3 travel advisory. A few days later it said travel from all countries required self quarantine. Even though it didn't affect me personally, it felt good to dunk on the weasels.

Also, second pickle tickle. Guy on my current jobsite has a hairdo like adam sandler in wedding singer. Except the hair is longer and the curls are tighter.

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Bandwagon

Kolohe
<Silver Donator>
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As soon as I stepped onto the sidewalk when leaving work today, I heard someone coming down the street and smashing the fuck out of their horn.

BEEP BEEP BEEEEEEEEEEEP BEEP BEEEEEEP BEEP BEEP BEEEEEEEEEEP

I turned around and saw some early 2000s sedan with tinted windows and could just barely make out a driver that was waving at me like a lunatic while still honking the horn. BEEP BEEEEEEEP BEEEP BEEP. No idea who it was, but they stopped at a red light about 30 yards ahead.

When I got up to the crosswalk, the window was down and some early-20s asian fella was smiling and hollering something at me. I smiled and yelled "Hey Man, what's up?!" like everyone does when they don't recognize the person that recognizes you.

"....[gibberish]..."BEEEP BEEEEEEP BEEP ".....SKYLIGHT!"

To which I reply - "What about about a skylight, man? I can't hear you over the horn".

Him, with the most sincere & innocent smile ever - "I'm so happy! My new car has a skylight and the weather is BEAUTIFUL!"

I kind of stuttered for a minute out of pure confusion, but managed to get a "CONGRATULATIONS!" out before the light changed.

I was chuckling to myself as I walked to the parking lot, but then I heard him laying on the fucking horn again all the way down main street and I started laughing my fucking ass off.

BEEP BEEP BEEEEEEEEEEEP BEEP BEEEEEEP BEEP BEEP BEEEEEEEEEEP

Consider my pickle tickled.

Edit: I've seen this kid twice since I posted this a few months ago. One of the times he asked me out. Heard from a coworker that he's completely insane.
I FOUND HIM!

Same kid from the stories above. I was heading home and looked out the window and this dude just points at my window and starts dancing. Tinted windows, so he definitely didn't see or recognize me. Just a crazy, happy street kid.

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a c i d.f l y

ಠ_ಠ
<Silver Donator>
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Local bar is getting around Texas's 51% rule after obtaining a restaurant license (instead of the bar license), which allows them to be open, by splitting drink costs with small foods. You buy a drink that was $4, it's now listed as $1.50 with a $2.50 food item. Like chips, egg rolls and other small fried items and meatballs. I don't think they expected people to actually eat anything, but I've been "getting what I'm paying for" and eating everything. Causing them to run out of some items.

When they let bars open again, I hope they keep this model.
 

Morsakin

Golden Knight of the Realm
384
118
Have a video interview on Monday with a guy named Horus.

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TheNozz

Ssraeszha Raider
6,700
34,276
Was in Walmart and was surprised to see this finally got made:

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