Whats rustling your jimmies?

Uber Uberest

Uber Uberest

rdr^2
<Bronze Donator>
2,711
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"Hey are you done with whatever I asked you to do?" -me

"Yes, except for..."

No, the answer is no, you have not finished what I asked you to do. Rustles me something fierce at work.
 
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Void

Void

Experiencer
<Gold Donor>
9,413
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This fucking commercial for Probiotics that plays 400 times a day on the radio. "If you've got a big belly, you might not be fat, you might just be bloated." Followed by a bunch of other bullshit about how you can get rid of literally pounds of food and toxic sludge from your stomach that is making you fat. Including a warning that if you feel the results are "too dramatic" you can cut down to only using it once every other day. All for a low, low price.

The 1 in a million (or more) person that actually has a bloated stomach from this probably should already know it from a doctor, or is too stupid and didn't go to a doctor when they should have, but the other 99.9999% of people are just fucking fat. Hell, I'd be willing to bet that there are probably more unknown pregnancies causing bloated belly than there are people that would benefit from this probiotics bullshit. If it even works in the right situation, which I'm pretty dubious of.
 
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Fogel

Fogel

Mr. Poopybutthole
12,159
45,203
Farted while taking a hot shower. Hot showers are to farts that amps are to music. Rustled by my own fart.
 
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Aldarion

Aldarion

Egg Nazi
8,929
24,404
OK I've got two new ones, both happened in a single day.

This student schedules an appointment to meet with me to discuss her recent test. During the meeting, while I am literally in mid sentence, she pulls out her phone and starts texting. Not even like a quick text "just a min", she just sits there and does that goddamn monkey like thumb tapping shit for like a solid 30 seconds.

She finished her text , put it away, and just carried on with the discussion as if nothing happened. I'm pretty sure my jaw dropped for a solid minute and I was unable to respond, other than think "that really just happened? do you have a mental problem?"

Then later in class, I turn to the final slide of the lecture with 5 min left on the clock, thinking great, home stretch. A student looks up and lets out this loud audible sigh. loud, breaking the slience, like a fart in church. And not quick like "sigh, ok, suck it up and take one more note". More like "siiiiggghhhhh, oh my gaaaawwwwd, I cant believe hes doing this to us, when will it be ooovvvverrrrr??"

If these kids are the future we are fucked.
 
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TrollfaceDeux

TrollfaceDeux

Pronouns: zie/zhem/zer
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Aldarion said:
OK I've got two new ones, both happened in a single day.

This student schedules an appointment to meet with me to discuss her recent test. During the meeting, while I am literally in mid sentence, she pulls out her phone and starts texting. Not even like a quick text "just a min", she just sits there and does that goddamn monkey like thumb tapping shit for like a solid 30 seconds.

She finished her text , put it away, and just carried on with the discussion as if nothing happened. I'm pretty sure my jaw dropped for a solid minute and I was unable to respond, other than think "that really just happened? do you have a mental problem?"

Then later in class, I turn to the final slide of the lecture with 5 min left on the clock, thinking great, home stretch. A student looks up and lets out this loud audible sigh. loud, breaking the slience, like a fart in church. And not quick like "sigh, ok, suck it up and take one more note". More like "siiiiggghhhhh, oh my gaaaawwwwd, I cant believe hes doing this to us, when will it be ooovvvverrrrr??"

If these kids are the future we are fucked.
Click to expand...
fail her and him.
it is only just.
 
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A

a_skeleton_06

<Banned>
1,923
2,410
We have to scan keycards to get onto the high rise floors here. Almost every morning, there will be some fucking cunt who scans his card and then stands there like a mook so the other people have to navigate the 8 inches between their crotch and the scanner. It's 7:30 AM and I already want to bash in someone's skull.
 
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Rikkon

Rikkon

Lord Nagafen Raider
97
98
Retards in other divisions that either

A) send you an email wait five minutes and send it again while CC'ing your boss

B) just cc your boss on all correspondence

I just got one from a retard in merchant services where I'm literally managing his part of the client relationship because I'm embarrassed to introduce him to the treasurer and he keeps blowing my boss and I up about expending the relationship. My boss doesn't give a fuck I don't give a fuck the Treasuer doesn't give a fuck - go back on your hole.


Gets me every time - one day is just going to start responding and CC'ing the head of their department rather than just deleting
 
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Mrs. Gravy

Mrs. Gravy

Quite Saucy
<QUITE SAUCY>
1,696
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Consulting a person who is supposed to know procedure on client transfers who quotes to me the phrase Residential Care Facility....this is after I had used the acronym SNF as this was to what I was making inquiry. (SNF is llicensed differently from an RCF...have different eligibility etc)....so I restated that my question was about a SNF, not an RCF. The person then proceeds to tell me that a SNF is a nursing home. No fucking shit. Skilled Nursing Facility is a nursing home.
I informed them that I knew what a SNF was...Motherfucker the damn rules and regs are different.
 
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P

Pennilenko

Silver Knight of the Realm
90
1
People I know that did not vote, but are protesting the election results.

Votes do matter! You millennial fucks.
 
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TrollfaceDeux

TrollfaceDeux

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Best interview for a job and got it. Told about hours. I respectfully declined. What a waste of gas.
 
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Koushirou

Koushirou

Log Wizard
<Gold Donor>
4,868
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Some lady's shit has been sitting in the washer since yesterday evening. Had to just sit it on top of the dryer for her ass while we did our stuff (after waiting two hours to see if she'd finish it). Went down today to do some more and it's still there. Who the fuck leaves wet clothes chilling for that long. It's fucking disgusting.
 
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Big Phoenix

Big Phoenix

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Worthless fucking cock sucking piece of fucking shit dog shit fucking garbage sports teams fucking me in the ass and the dumb fuck inbred shit for brain retards who consistently vote for them.

The garbage coyotes which just came out of bankruptcy a few years ago are now going to get the tax payers to fork over 200 fucking million dollars to build them ANOTHER stadium. Theyre so fucking terrible in a moment of clairvoyance the city of Glendale kicked their worthless fucking asses out so now they are without a home in 2 years. But sure enough worthless sacks of dogshit have a plan to fuck the taxpayers of this state in the ass for 200 fucking million dollars. Fuck the coyotes and every worthless fucking piece of shit leech that is apart of that god awful fucking shit franchise. Fuck them and fuck the dumb mother fuckers who brought them here.

Fuck the Cardinals too. These mother fuckers honest to god really piss me off. Some fucking how they got the city of glendale to sign a contract that obligated the city to rent parking FROM THE CARDINALS. HOW THE FUCK DOES A CONTRACT LIKE THAT GET WRITTEN AND PEOPLE NOT GET SENT TO JAIL? That is 100% fuck the tax payer in the ass. Forced to rent parking spaces from the fucking team? Fuck you bidwell and your worthless fucking leech family and every cock sucking mother fucker part of the cardinals organization. 500+ MILLION FUCKING DOLLARS for your fucking retarded stadium.

Oh and fuck you to robert sarver and your shitty as fuck phoenix suns. Absolute garbage team and you think you deserve a brand new stadium? Go suck a dick your worthless banker fuck and get the fuck out of here with your shitty fucking basketball team.

This state has probably spent over a billion dollars on fucking sports teams in the past decade AND WHAT DO WE HAVE TO SHOW? FUCKING NOTHING. FUCK THESE MALIGNANT PIECES OF FUCKING SHIT. FUCK EVERY MOTHER FUCK WHO VOTES TO KEEP THEM IN.
 
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TrollfaceDeux

TrollfaceDeux

Pronouns: zie/zhem/zer
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Big Phoenix said:
Worthless fucking cock sucking piece of fucking shit dog shit fucking garbage sports teams fucking me in the ass and the dumb fuck inbred shit for brain retards who consistently vote for them.

The garbage coyotes which just came out of bankruptcy a few years ago are now going to get the tax payers to fork over 200 fucking million dollars to build them ANOTHER stadium. Theyre so fucking terrible in a moment of clairvoyance the city of Glendale kicked their worthless fucking asses out so now they are without a home in 2 years. But sure enough worthless sacks of dogshit have a plan to fuck the taxpayers of this state in the ass for 200 fucking million dollars. Fuck the coyotes and every worthless fucking piece of shit leech that is apart of that god awful fucking shit franchise. Fuck them and fuck the dumb mother fuckers who brought them here.

Fuck the Cardinals too. These mother fuckers honest to god really piss me off. Some fucking how they got the city of glendale to sign a contract that obligated the city to rent parking FROM THE CARDINALS. HOW THE FUCK DOES A CONTRACT LIKE THAT GET WRITTEN AND PEOPLE NOT GET SENT TO JAIL? That is 100% fuck the tax payer in the ass. Forced to rent parking spaces from the fucking team? Fuck you bidwell and your worthless fucking leech family and every cock sucking mother fucker part of the cardinals organization. 500+ MILLION FUCKING DOLLARS for your fucking retarded stadium.

Oh and fuck you to robert sarver and your shitty as fuck phoenix suns. Absolute garbage team and you think you deserve a brand new stadium? Go suck a dick your worthless banker fuck and get the fuck out of here with your shitty fucking basketball team.

This state has probably spent over a billion dollars on fucking sports teams in the past decade AND WHAT DO WE HAVE TO SHOW? FUCKING NOTHING. FUCK THESE MALIGNANT PIECES OF FUCKING SHIT. FUCK EVERY MOTHER FUCK WHO VOTES TO KEEP THEM IN.
Click to expand...
Goddamn
 
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Big Phoenix

Big Phoenix

Pronouns: zie/zhem/zer
<Gold Donor>
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Oh I forgot fuck the fucking arizona diamond backs.

Another absolute SHIT team that expects the tax payer to give them hundreds of millions of dollars because their stadium is "too old". WE JUST BUILT THE FUCKING THING LESS THAN TWENTY YEARS AGO FOR AT THE COST OF 400 MILLION DOLLAR ASS FUCKING TO THE TAX PAYER yet you fucks think you deserve another one? Fuck you dumb mother fuckers. Hope your franchise continues to be the laughing stock of the league you fucking pieces of shit.
 
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P

Picasso3

Silver Baronet of the Realm
11,333
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They wouldn't be the laughing stock if you would get them a new stadium bro
 
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Mures

Mures

Blackwing Lair Raider
4,014
511
People who work ~30 hours a week or less and think their life is hard.
 
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U

Unidin

Molten Core Raider
798
434
Big Phoenix said:
Worthless fucking cock sucking piece of fucking shit dog shit fucking garbage sports teams fucking me in the ass and the dumb fuck inbred shit for brain retards who consistently vote for them.

The garbage coyotes which just came out of bankruptcy a few years ago are now going to get the tax payers to fork over 200 fucking million dollars to build them ANOTHER stadium. Theyre so fucking terrible in a moment of clairvoyance the city of Glendale kicked their worthless fucking asses out so now they are without a home in 2 years. But sure enough worthless sacks of dogshit have a plan to fuck the taxpayers of this state in the ass for 200 fucking million dollars. Fuck the coyotes and every worthless fucking piece of shit leech that is apart of that god awful fucking shit franchise. Fuck them and fuck the dumb mother fuckers who brought them here.

Fuck the Cardinals too. These mother fuckers honest to god really piss me off. Some fucking how they got the city of glendale to sign a contract that obligated the city to rent parking FROM THE CARDINALS. HOW THE FUCK DOES A CONTRACT LIKE THAT GET WRITTEN AND PEOPLE NOT GET SENT TO JAIL? That is 100% fuck the tax payer in the ass. Forced to rent parking spaces from the fucking team? Fuck you bidwell and your worthless fucking leech family and every cock sucking mother fucker part of the cardinals organization. 500+ MILLION FUCKING DOLLARS for your fucking retarded stadium.

Oh and fuck you to robert sarver and your shitty as fuck phoenix suns. Absolute garbage team and you think you deserve a brand new stadium? Go suck a dick your worthless banker fuck and get the fuck out of here with your shitty fucking basketball team.

This state has probably spent over a billion dollars on fucking sports teams in the past decade AND WHAT DO WE HAVE TO SHOW? FUCKING NOTHING. FUCK THESE MALIGNANT PIECES OF FUCKING SHIT. FUCK EVERY MOTHER FUCK WHO VOTES TO KEEP THEM IN.
Click to expand...

Just put the Suns in the Coyote's stadium. Problem solved.
 
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