Whats rustling your jimmies?

Sludig

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My wierdo young parrot. She always wants out and attention, but after a few minutes of chin and head/neck scritching, she either gets panicked whimpering horny trying to rape my hand/shoulder, or starts trying like a cat to barf up food and feed my finger or get at my face to try and feed me.
 

Voyce

Shit Lord Supreme
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They came up with a solution to this some time ago... it's called "Hookers"

I'm not looking for sex on the first date.

I mean obviously I'm looking for sex, I'm a normal guy, and absolutely if I can get her naked on the first date I'm all over that.

I also won't hold it against any chick, if she wants to have sex on the first date, as long as she's with me after that (if its something both of us are interested in persuing) no problem with me.

If I can have sex on the first date and remain honest, no reason she can't.

Having said that, I'm really ok with taking my time at this point.

Regarding prostitution unless or until it is legal in my area its to seedy to test the water. I don't use condoms, I can't keep it up with rubber, no way I'm going bareback with a hooker. I'd need a particular service for that.

My wierdo young parrot. She always wants out and attention, but after a few minutes of chin and head/neck scritching, she either gets panicked whimpering horny trying to rape my hand/shoulder, or starts trying like a cat to barf up food and feed my finger or get at my face to try and feed me.

Having more experience then I would like with parrots, that's because she views you as her life mate.
 
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Sludig

Golden Baronet of the Realm
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I'm not looking for sex on the first date.

I mean obviously I'm looking for sex, I'm a normal guy, and absolutely if I can get her naked on the first date I'm all over that.

I also won't hold it against any chick, if she wants to have sex on the first date, as long as she's with me after that no problem with me.

If I can have sex on the first date and remain honest, no reason she can't.

Having said that, I'm really ok with taking my time at this point.

Regarding prostitution unless or until it is legal in my area its to seedy to test the water. I don't use condoms, I can't keep it up with rubber, no way I'm going bareback with a hooker. I'd need a particular service for that.



Having more experience then I would like with parrots, that's because she views you as her life mate.
Ya, store that had her, she was a bit under a year at the time. She's an african red bellied, I forget the other smaller type male in the cage next to her, but she was super in love with him. Would get all ridiculous with him in the store. Thought about taking them both, but they were concerned she'd end up ignoring us for him. (might have been a good idea).

She'd been plucked belly from original owner went to school or lost their job or something and her parents just kept it caged in a basement.... so that has who knows what effect. Shy like normal for the first week, but very quickly and now with any strangers in the house, she does this funny thing where she whips her head around backwards and smushes her head/neck up against bars for rubbings. (She's put away with guests usually because dogs running around excited etc and she can fly)

Hoping as she gets older, cools it down though the rape whimpers are funny. A lot more cuddly and easy going than my devil Caique was.
 

Funkor

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Sometimes it feels good to vent to complete strangers! Knock on wood, but at the moment stuff is lining up right for me, so I don't mind listening to people vent if it makes them feel even 1% better.


"Don't want to kill myself quickly so I do it slowly with sugar and calories and lack of exercise"

I drink way too much goddamn Mt dew, as in I cap myself at 4 cans under the guise of not being TOO unhealthy. I eat way too much sugar too, and game all day when not at work(which is also sedentary). Feel free to laugh, but I actually got some motivation from the One Punch Man series. Sure it's silly anime, but I got a deeper meaning from it after watching the whole 1st season. He works out just a little every day, so I tried it too. Waiting for mana to regen on your 51st attempt at an EQ1 TLE server? Do some exercises in your chair chair like lifts, dips etc. Everytime you brush your teeth do situps the whole time (just don't choke :p ). Never use elevators, there's stairs nearby.

It all adds up. You can eat somewhat shitty and still lose weight. Disclaimer: I don't drink, so there's a lot of calories I'm missing. So maybe it's easier for me than heavy drinkers ;)
I couldn't resist.
One-Punch-Man-Workout.jpg
 

Hoss

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Why do the people on news shows keep using imprecise language? I mean, they all studied communication in college, why can't they communicate better? It was a little thing this morning. They said a new design was going to be revealed that NOBODY (emphasis theirs) had seen before. WTF, how is it possible a thing had been built and NOBODY had seen the design? Was it designed and built by blind monks? Martians? For fuck's sake, this is your job, why can't you figure out that it's only the general public who hasn't seen the design yet?

In this case it was the astros' world series rings. Probably a hundred of them made (just a wild guess), and the designs were submitted and approved and yet somehow, NOBODY has seen it.

Don't even get me started about why that was a newsworthy story. My guess is that Trump did something good this weekend and they needed to fill the time with something else.
 
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Calbiyum

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. They are so damn jittery they physically make themselves sick, and then they can't meet, for a simple date. A free meal, really if it goes so badly they can just walk out, what am I going to do follow them, chase them down? Its just such a tedious numbers game.
While yes they do get nervous and shit for extremely small and stupid things there are plenty of creepy guys that will do this shit. And it ruins it for normal/non-rapey people
 
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a c i d.f l y

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While yes they do get nervous and shit for extremely small and stupid things there are plenty of creepy guys that will do this shit. And it ruins it for normal/non-rapey people

I absolutely could not date a person that is that finicky, so them bailing is doing you a favor. Like, pull yourself together.
 
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Rathar

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There's no Garbage reaction icon anymore.
Parrots are super social creatures. Having just one is kinda cruel and bad for their mental health.
 

a c i d.f l y

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Just had the four thousand nine hundred and forty sixth person ask me if I was excited about my kid being born soon... no, motherfucker, excited is the last word I have on my mind when I think of a little sleep-depriving-shit-monster invading my personal space and time. I'm excited about the 8 weeks I get off. I'm anxious to get through the delivery and be back home, so I can catch up on 15 years of shit sleep with an abundance of naps. I'm not even worried about my capacity as a parent and father, or about my child, if anything I'm simply curious to see what kind of personality she's going to have coming from two chill as motherfuckers. We'll find out soon enough. 21 days left....
 

Void

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Just had the four thousand nine hundred and forty sixth person ask me if I was excited about my kid being born soon... no, motherfucker, excited is the last word I have on my mind when I think of a little sleep-depriving-shit-monster invading my personal space and time. I'm excited about the 8 weeks I get off. I'm anxious to get through the delivery and be back home, so I can catch up on 15 years of shit sleep with an abundance of naps. I'm not even worried about my capacity as a parent and father, or about my child, if anything I'm simply curious to see what kind of personality she's going to have coming from two chill as motherfuckers. We'll find out soon enough. 21 days left....
So are you excited?
 
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Voyce

Shit Lord Supreme
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I absolutely could not date a person that is that finicky, so them bailing is doing you a favor. Like, pull yourself together.


Yea, but its like every girl I talk to online.

This one sent me a message at the end of the day, but I'm not going to put anymore time into her.

She even put on her profile "Don't waste my time." But it's okay to waste mine?
 

Srathor

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Just had the four thousand nine hundred and forty sixth person ask me if I was excited about my kid being born soon... no, motherfucker, excited is the last word I have on my mind when I think of a little sleep-depriving-shit-monster invading my personal space and time. I'm excited about the 8 weeks I get off. I'm anxious to get through the delivery and be back home, so I can catch up on 15 years of shit sleep with an abundance of naps. I'm not even worried about my capacity as a parent and father, or about my child, if anything I'm simply curious to see what kind of personality she's going to have coming from two chill as motherfuckers. We'll find out soon enough. 21 days left....

Just remember, she might not be born yet, but in 18 years all the motherfuckers that post on this board will want to see nudes.
 
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Aamry

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Yea, but its like every girl I talk to online.

This one sent me a message at the end of the day, but I'm not going to put anymore time into her.

She even put on her profile "Don't waste my time." But it's okay to waste mine?

A lot of them are on there just for the attention, not actually wanting to date or meet up, then you'll run into the same girl on 3 different sites and you know she's actually looking, but won't message you.
 

k^M

Blackwing Lair Raider
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Just had the four thousand nine hundred and forty sixth person ask me if I was excited about my kid being born soon... no, motherfucker, excited is the last word I have on my mind when I think of a little sleep-depriving-shit-monster invading my personal space and time. I'm excited about the 8 weeks I get off. I'm anxious to get through the delivery and be back home, so I can catch up on 15 years of shit sleep with an abundance of naps. I'm not even worried about my capacity as a parent and father, or about my child, if anything I'm simply curious to see what kind of personality she's going to have coming from two chill as motherfuckers. We'll find out soon enough. 21 days left....

My son was just born 8 days ago and this pretty much sums up my response. Still not excited he's born, more curious to see how things develop.

GF wound up having to get a c-section and after they take the baby out and clean him up, they ask if I want to go back to the room with him and were aghast I said no, I want to be here keeping her company while you re-arrange her innards. He won't remember shit, but she will feel better not being alone during surgery.
 
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Kinner

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My son was just born 8 days ago and this pretty much sums up my response. Still not excited he's born, more curious to see how things develop.

GF wound up having to get a c-section and after they take the baby out and clean him up, they ask if I want to go back to the room with him and were aghast I said no, I want to be here keeping her company while you re-arrange her innards. He won't remember shit, but she will feel better not being alone during surgery.
It took me a couple of months to really bond with both my kiddos. I never got that "feeling of love looking in their eyes for the first time". It took feeding, changing, and a whole lot of holding time before that happened for me.
 

Arative

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Babies aren't fun until they develop some personality, probably around 4 months or so. Prior to that, they are just eating and pooping and spitting up machines. My daughter is 4 weeks old, I love having her lay on my chest but I don't feel connected with her because she's pretty oblivious about things.